I have understood the tone thing for years . Very sensitive they are under all that self loathing
Tag: trauma
Narcissist and it’s Discontents
This Ted Talk with a specialist
rocked my world about 4 days
ago.
After being exampled yet again
at very high cost to me,
listening to her ,I am sure to
be more discerning about
my energy and luxuriant
in every minute of drama
and trauma free peace.
That’s most disturbing of all
to this narcissistic epidemic;
They know not Peace !
Leaving A Narcissist
Unfortunately psychiatric “care” by an alumni of his reduced me physically and mentally , spiritually depleted with absolutely no one who had an awareness and supported me .
It was a wasteland ; and in that space he went for the juggler as his ” non interest ” was exhibited with his new supply were giddy with new love .
Showing me that I had no place at the table as it were , he walked out and I knew I’d be in peril due to ALL being his .
Being so medicated as to render me indefensible and secretive information that received years later bear out his strategy of complete alienation of anything healthy , joyful or equatable .
Winner take all ,and yes he tried
The one message I have for you today is this…
If the person who’s causing you pain had any plans to stop hurting you, they would have done it by now.
If you are dealing with a narcissist, never, ever give credence to their words. Always pay attention to their actions.
And they don’t get credit for “being good” for a few days if they go back to being abusive. Even Hitler had his moments of seeming kindness.
Some people are excellent actors, reading you the script you want to hear that feeds into the fantasy that things will get better…soon, one day, if only you hang in there.
On the flip side, a person might not be generous with kind words, but you know from their actions that they care about you …because they SHOW it.
Lip service does not lead to happiness. Take a long hard look at the patterns and draw your conclusions from there.
And if you need support, check out the resources in my link.
There’s something in there for everyone.:
ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ
#newlife #nocontact #spiritual #healing #lifebeginsafternocontact #narcissisticabuserecovery
Child Abuse
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The parent-child relationship is one of the strongest human bonds and it is totally heartbreaking when a parent and a child are no longer in contact. Two reasons for this can be parental alienation or estrangement. Two sides of the same coin. Both involve grief, regret, torment, and heartbreaking separation, but are also different as I shall try to explain below.
In the Journal of Forensic Science, the difference between parental alienation and realistic estrangement was defined this way: Parental alienation is the rejection of a parent without legitimate justification and realistic estrangement is the rejection of a parent for a good reason.
Parental alienation: When the relationship was previously loving, and in the absence of emotional or physical abuse, parental alienation is seldom initiated by the child. This pathological behaviour is born of a false or illogical belief fostered by the alienating parent, out of hatred, fear, envy, or disrespect, usually during and after a high conflict divorce, though alienation behaviours might have started while the parents were living together under the same roof. The alienating parent will use the child as a weapon by undermining their previously happy, loving relationship with the mentally healthy parent. With parental alienation, the child treats the parents as good and bad, right and wrong. They take on the alienating parent’s beliefs, justifications, fears, anger, language … they become loyal defenders of the ‘good’ parent because that parent has worked on them. Some liken it to a cult leader and their followers, or to brainwashing. The child aligns with the aggressor (please see my post on this).
Estrangement: Although this is also traumatic and heartbreaking, it is different to parental alienation. It doesn’t stem from the other parent doing all they can to destroy the parent/child loving relationship, but instead from the child’s independent-minded decision. The child puts up a boundary to prevent unwanted behaviour from his/her parent. This can include a great many things, including family conflict, disparaging behaviour, disagreements over life choices, violence, and abusive language .. … It is sadly fairly common for a parent who is estranged from his/her children to blame the other parent of parental alienation. It is easier to blame others than to take on any blame and responsibility themselves. The parent’s behaviour could be driving a child away, but their lawyer blames it on alienation. This is a travesty of justice, and courts must be more aware of these false accusations. It is important to evidence everything.
Whether you are going through estrangement or parental alienation, it is essential to get the emotional support you need. If you are reunited with your child, you can also try family counselling to help repair the relationship. I advocate Conscious Parenting. Whatever you choose, never hesitate to reach out for help. If the reconnection isn’t yet happening, or it’s been a long time since you’ve experienced separation, make sure you are looking after yourself, to get beyond grief and rage, and try to accept the situation, best you can. You deserve to be happy.
Emotional Partners : Using Children for emotional support
Narks Don’t Celebrate Your Birthday
Not sure how I lived through the distortion and never being supported much less celebrated
Being Blunt with the Distortions of a Narcissistic
Years of experience, wasted efforts ,and core needs abused.
6 years in , it was undeniable
With 3 sons 6 and under and
no income or money or place
to go to , I had the awareness
that I would receive little from
him .
To a degree , I did not feel I
would ever trust or love again
and I did not want another
man ” fathering 3 sons ” who
were possessions of our Boss.
Just as he considered me ,
examples had accumulated
beyond denial .
*Coming home from work
and announcing a trip to
Germany with his childhood
friend who had no morals
and I was aware of his willing
participation in whoring
with his Bud . Later he would
share his experience through
his friends name to me .
I knew but had to ignore it
for the sake of our sons .
When I did discuss it with
the wives of his friends it was
” normalized ” ; these ladies
were professionals , mothers,
living well , designer cloths
and always had a cocktail in
front of them .
I did not fit in his world and it
was all he knew and there was
stagnation ,no growth and no
intimacy. Slow and painful
death . The abuses increased
after building our home upon
his acknowledgment that he
had over extended himself
and his obligations were not
allowing his personal needs
wants and desires .
And then there was that ever
present , never ending toxic
bond with his Mom .
Is WAR cost our family dearly
and has largely been ignored
legally ; and I grasp his
winning trumps the needs of
our sons and grandchildren
for I am dead to him , he has
never ” been interested ” .
Sadly all that perceived on
highness , mask a dark ,cold
calculating shadow at War
with light , growth ,forgiveness
letting go , equality balance
accountability, responsibility .
I came into his life in peace
trust , love and divinity , only
to be cut off and disposed of
upon finding his next
companion who relished
the strategic targeting , spell
work , lies etc
Nearly dead , ran for her
life ,forgetting her salvation
and redemption ,still joyful
to denounce me .
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 