Tag: love

There are men who come in to repair

And then they make their early diagnosis.

They look at you and detect you.

They land in your little world like Columbus in America. But they don’t conquer you. They don’t plunder you. They don’t even deceive you.

They only bring love in pots. And they do what they have to do for you. For your soul. For your pain.

Because you wanted to find something else in life. Some men know. I still don’t know. I haven’t suspected it yet.

Even without being fully aware of their importance. They know with a different wisdom. They smile with different smiles.

They speak in different words. They work magic. There are men like that. I swear to you. I’ve seen them. I know them. I watch them play.

From afar or up close. I admire them. Sometimes I let myself be excited by them. Because they hold art in their hands. They open you up. And you don’t suspect anything for a second.

Because they are friends. But they are not ordinary friends. They are strange friends. They are friends from elsewhere. They are companions of stars.

They arrive. They do. They say. Look. Come. They won’t always love you. They won’t always love you the way you want them to love you.

You won’t always love them the way they want you to love them. It’s something else. Something else. They will arrive to fulfill their destiny.

They will arrive to improve your life for a while. To do you a favor for a while. To make a pact. Because they are something else.

Deeper. Stranger. More capable of staying inside you. Because these men will live in those places where you let no one in. Because you will remain in them like a girl gazing at the sea on the beach at night.

There are men who come to repair the women who repair. Because they were born for that. To heal those who heal.

To heal those who heal. Because we are partners. Beloved. Lovers. In love.

And when two such lovely companions cross paths, meet, entwine, love each other in their own way, the universe celebrates.

The universe thanks you, and so do you.

The “ gift ” of being 1st / releasing generational trauma

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Detachment of adult child

The detachment a mother experiences when letting go of an adult child is a multifaceted and often profound emotional process.

Its not a sudden severing of ties, but rather a gradual shift in the mother-child relationship as the child transitions into independence.

Heres a breakdown of what this detachment can entail:

Emotional Shifts:

* A Sense of Loss and Grief:

Even though its a natural progression, mothers can experience a sense of loss akin to grief.

This can stem from the changing daily interactions, the feeling of no longer being the primary caregiver and the realization that their childs life is now largely separate from their own.

The “empty nest syndrome” is a well-known manifestation of this.

* Letting Go of Control and Worry: Mothers have often spent years ensuring their childs safety and well-being.

Letting go involves relinquishing a degree of control and learning to trust their adult child’s decisions, even if they differ from their own.

This can be a source of anxiety and worry for some mothers.

* Redefining Identity:

For many mothers, a significant part of their identity is tied to being a parent.

As their children become independent, they may need to redefine their role and sense of purpose beyond active mothering.

This can be a time of self-discovery but also potential uncertainty.

* Mixed Emotions:

The detachment process often involves a complex mix of emotions.

There can be sadness and nostalgia for the past but also pride and joy in seeing their child thrive.

There might be relief at having more personal time, coupled with a pang of missing the daily connection.

* Emotional Distance (Healthy vs. Unhealthy):

A healthy detachment involves creating appropriate emotional boundaries, allowing the adult child to navigate their own life while still offering support when needed.

Unhealthy detachment can manifest as emotional unavailability, disinterest, or a premature pushing away, which can harm the parent-child relationship.

Behavioral and Relational Changes:

* Shifting from Caregiver to Supporter:

The mothers role evolves from direct caregiving to offering emotional support, guidance (when asked), and a safety net.

The dynamic becomes more adult-to-adult.

* Respecting Boundaries:

A crucial aspect of healthy detachment is respecting the adult child’s boundaries regarding their personal life, decisions and space. This can be challenging after years of being deeply involved.

* Less Frequent Direct Involvement:

Daily interactions and involvement in the childs life naturally decrease as the adult child establishes their own routines, relationships and responsibilities.

* New Forms of Connection:

The relationship doesnt necessarily diminish but transforms.

Connection might shift to less frequent but more meaningful interactions, focusing on shared interests and mutual respect.

Psychological Aspects:

* Attachment Theory:

This theory suggests that the bond between parent and child evolves over time.

Healthy detachment in adulthood signifies a secure attachment where the child feels confident to explore independently, knowing the parent is still a secure base to return to if needed.

* Developmental Stages:

Both the parent and the adult child are navigating new developmental stages.

The mother might be entering a phase of re-focusing on personal goals, while the child is establishing their independence.

* Individual Differences:

The experience of detachment varies greatly among mothers.

Factors such as personality, the closeness of the previous relationship, the mothers support system and her own interests and activities play a significant role.

Challenges:

* Enabling vs. Supporting: Mothers may struggle with the balance between offering support and enabling dependence, hindering their childs growth.

* Difficulty Letting Go of the “Baby”:

It can be emotionally challenging to see a grown adult instead of the child they nurtured for so long.

* Societal Expectations: Sometimes, societal norms or personal expectations can make it difficult for mothers to embrace their changing role.

The detachment a mother goes through is a complex emotional and relational adjustment.

Its a necessary process that allows the adult child to fully step into their own life while ideally maintaining a loving and supportive, albeit different, relationship with their mother.

A healthy detachment fosters independence, mutual respect, and an evolving bond that reflects the changing needs of both individuals.

“Life is a balance between holding on and letting go.”

Rumi

On a personal note:

I Am going through this process right now and to be honest this has been one of the absolute most difficult things I have ever had to do.

I have practiced detachment for many years.

To some degree, I have had to let go of every single person I have ever loved.

But there is nothing, NOTHING, that can prepare a mother to learn how to detach from their child in a healthy, loving way.

I was talking with my husband and said to him:

“I feel lost.

The mother role is an identity I have lived with for 25+ years.

I dont know who I Am. And its confusing.”

He said to me:

“Maybe it’s not about who you are but about who you want to become.”

To the Mamas out there:

If you have gone through this or have yet to, just know that you are not alone, that every single feeling you experience upon the entire spectrum of emotion is VALID.

The only way to heal is to feel.

Bless your beautiful Mama hearts.

I bow deeply and with respect for the challenge we all share as being the Mothers.

One of the hardest things a mother will ever do is watch her heart walking around outside her chest and hope the world is gentle with it.

~Monique Satonin

Art: FreePik

Sacred Divine Feminine

https://EmpowerWholeness.com

Healthy Love

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but in a healthy relationship, your feelings should never be a debate. If something hurts you, it matters.

Your partner’s role isn’t to argue about whether you should feel a certain way or to dismiss your emotions. Their role is to listen, to understand, and to do better in the future.

Healthy love isn’t about being right all the time. It’s about being kind, compassionate, and learning how to care for each other in ways that make you both feel valued and respected.

If your partner is only interested in defending their actions or minimizing your experience, it can make you feel small, unheard, and alone, even when you’re together. That’s not how it should be.

In a real, loving relationship, your partner will “want” to know what bothers you because they’ll care about your happiness. They’ll listen because they respect you, and they’ll work to grow alongside you.

And yes, sometimes they’ll mess up, but the difference is—they’ll own it.

They’ll acknowledge when they’ve caused pain, and they’ll make the effort not to repeat it. Because in love, making each other feel safe and understood is far more important than being “right” or winning an argument.

Remember, love is not a battlefield. It’s a space where both people should feel seen and supported, not where one has to constantly defend their emotions. A good partner doesn’t gaslight you into believing your feelings are invalid; they stand beside you, ready to face the discomfort and work together to build something stronger.

If you’re in a relationship where your partner listens, values your emotions, and tries to avoid hurting you in the future, hold on to that. That’s what a healthy relationship looks like.

If not, maybe it’s time to reflect on whether you’re being honored in the way you deserve. You are worthy of love that doesn’t dismiss your heart.

You deserve someone who cherishes your feelings, not someone who makes you question their validity. Keep that in mind, because at the end of the day, love should always feel like a safe place to land.

I didn’t loose you

I didn’t lose you.

I just stopped chasing.

And there’s a difference.

Because if I had kept chasing—

if I had kept showing up

every time you pulled away,

if I had kept softening myself

to make room for your distance—

we’d probably still be together.

But I’d be empty.

Chasing you meant abandoning me.

It meant constantly shrinking

to fit into the small spaces

you were willing to offer.

It meant tolerating silence,

reading between the lines,

and accepting breadcrumbs

as if they were a feast.

It meant reaching out

even when you didn’t reach back.

Apologizing just to keep the peace,

even when I wasn’t the one

who broke it.

I get it.

You’re avoidant.

You have wounds so deep

that closeness feels like danger

and love feels like pressure.

And I held space for that—

for as long as I could.

But here’s the truth:

it’s not your fault that you were hurt.

It’s not your fault that life made you guarded.

But it is your responsibility to heal.

It is your choice

to either face your trauma

or let it wreck the people who try to love you.

So no—

I didn’t lose you.

I simply chose not to keep running

after someone who was walking away.

Because love shouldn’t be a chase.

And I shouldn’t have to lose myself

just to keep someone else.

Love that feels like a safe home 🙌

Loving a woman who has been through so much, who has carried the weight of her trauma, who has fought battles no one else could see, and who has pieced herself back together after being broken—is not a task to take lightly. It’s a privilege.

She’s not asking for perfection. She’s asking for REAL—for consistency, for kindness, for someone who sees her scars and doesn’t flinch, but instead admires her strength. She’s asking for a love that feels safe, a love that allows her to exhale, a love that doesn’t make her question her worth.

If you’re fortunate enough to love a woman like this, remember: she’s not hard to love because of her past. She’s careful. She’s protective of her heart because she’s had to be. She’s been through enough to know the difference between empty words and meaningful actions.

So show up for her. Be patient when her walls are high—she built them to survive. Be gentle when she doubts your intentions—it’s not because of you, but because of what she’s endured. And most importantly, love her in a way that makes her believe in love again.

She deserves to be loved the right way: with respect, with tenderness, with unwavering commitment. She deserves a love that doesn’t just promise to stay, but proves it every single day.

To the woman who’s been through so much: You are worthy of a love that feels like home. You deserve a partner who sees your heart, your strength, and your beauty, and chooses you—every single day.

And to the man who loves her: Love her gently. Love her fiercely. And love her in a way that reminds her she is safe, she is cherished, and she is finally HOME.