Tag: family

Invisible Trauma The Psychology of Parentification Binding Empaths

Wow , did this hit home! I come into a lot of folks who grew up as I did

being in charge and not knowing how. By age 18, I was very tired of having

near full charge of siblings , due to Mom’s working 11pm to 7am ..Alone

in the house with younger kids.. I tried to stay away from home at an early

age , but for years , younger brother tagging along . Some highly aggressive

occurrences red flagged his behavior, but I did not have a lot of reference

but it grew and grew , and finally it reached a point of no return .

Expected to be the responsible one in marriage , left little time for nurture.

After my Xanax breakdown, I felt very vulnerable , and at risk, with

concerns about stability as quickly as possible and mother our sons .

That necessitated trying to normalize and try to stabilize our foundation

thus pleasing X was very necessary .

I did not feel strong enough to go on with out him, feared him and his

retaliations. This developed into Parentification of our eldest , who

Deserved his childhood . Each of our sons deserved better .

I

youtube.com/live/vXcH_SefQno

‘Normal’parenting challenge for targeted parent

Many of us going through ‘parental alienation’ do not have the opportunity to show kindness or let our children know we love them. In this case, the boundaries are about self-preservation and not letting the sadness of the situation overwhelm us. It’s about drawing a line and saying ‘enough!’ We can keep knocking at a door, but unless it opens, we can die waiting or we can get on with our lives. That’s not to say we’ve given up trying, or that our door is closed. Our hearts, our doors are open. But we are getting on with being happy, and we are practising self-love. This is not selfishness. It’s not quitting. It is essential. ⁠

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Each step towards nurturing your well-being and asserting healthy boundaries is a testament to resilience and self-love amidst unimaginable pain. For those cut off from their children, boundaries may involve not subjecting yourself to mistreatment or allowing your worth to be defined by your alienated child’s actions. While the absence of contact with alienated children may limit direct opportunities to demonstrate kindness, you can still extend compassion to yourself. Putting up boundaries becomes an act of self-preservation, a means of safeguarding your emotional well-being in the face of adversity. By removing yourself from situations that trigger negative feelings, you can reclaim a sense of power and choice.⁠

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienationischildabuse #parentalalienation #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #narcissisticfather #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissist #narcissists #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissism #narcissismawareness #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #alienated

Dad

With a Capricorn Dad, this Pisces had plenty of test within our time together .

He was so young when I arrived , and though I didn’t realize it , he had survived a very difficult and traumatic family life , with divorce of his parents taking place around the time of my birth . He had experienced the death of his Maternal Grandfather , and his Maternal Grandmother just after my birth .. He and Mom experienced the still born death of their 1st baby and the promise by Mom’s parents to ‘raise’ Mom’s 1st daughter for the 1st year of parents marriage was withdrawn …so there was a lot going on , for the young man who wanted a son, and by the looks of my , I did look like a boy 🧐

Neither of them knew about trauma, or that they had plenty of it , and it sure deserved the healing ❤️‍🩹 that might have reduced the physical pain and suffering each endured.

Dad is never far from my heart , and I can honestly say he never ever wounded me as deeply and throughly as other family did , eventually and have no remorse, feeling I deserve the worst outcomes .

With the Capricorn full moon coming next week, I feel more illumination will be made about many things we hold near to our hearts ❤️⚖️

I send you Love & Light and Peace ☮️, this and every day 💯🤩🙏🏼

Parental Alienation- More than a phase – Charlie McCready

The people who say ‘it’s just a phase’, ‘enjoy your freedom’ and things like this probably mean well but totally misunderstand the pain and trauma of parental alienation, the not knowing when/if we’ll see our children again. It’s not empty nest syndrome, either. Nor is it estrangement when a child has a justified reason for not wanting to see a parent. Alienation is unjustified, coerced, and psychological abuse from a parent with an attachment disorder, narcissism, and/or a vengeance campaign against a loved/loving parent. I’ve taken inspiration from Simone de Beauvoir’s quote: ‘“Her wings are cut, and then she is blamed for not knowing how to fly.” Our children have their wings clipped, certainly. It is covert abuse, and so many people don’t get it. Even people who really should get it. Others suffering from alienation as a knock-on effect, such as grandparents, understand it (though not all), but friends and others say these things to us from a place of kindness but ignorance. They don’t mean to hurt us more with their lack of understanding. May they never know how far off the mark they are.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienationawareness

#parentalalienation

#alienatedchild

#childabuse

#FamilyCourt

#FathersMatter

#fathersrights

#mothersrights

#custodybattle

Detractors – Charlie Mc Cready

Many detractors hate us being happy, none more so than an alienating parent. They’ve made it their mission to make us miserable by harming the love and relationship we have with our children because they know that will hurt us the most. What kind of person does this? Not a mentally sound or particularly happy one is the answer. Sometimes, this isn’t the case; they didn’t have a miserable childhood or unresolved issues; they’re ‘just’ vengeful, disordered, dark personalities. They will typically often have narcissistic traits and be manipulative, being comfortable lying and creating false narratives, and particularly good at provoking a reaction that then becomes all the focus. ⁠

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What we need to focus on is NOT them and their behaviours. That brings us down and makes us angry and upset. It’s not easy, but it is helpful to focus on what you envisage as an amazing outcome, a future you want to create. When we’re focused on problems, we magnify them, and they can dominate our thoughts and actions. It can drive us crazy. Instead, we are better off doing things and being with people who make us happy. It lifts our vibration/mood. That brings us more of the same. Like attracts like. Like gardening, if we water our plants, they grow. But also, if we water the weeds, they grow too. When we see a weed, we can pull it out at the root, and keep going back and weeding some more, if they grow back. The weeds don’t allow the flowers to bloom as they should. We have to grow and rise above the ‘weeds’ in our lives (and you know who I am referring to, I’m sure). Whatever you love will grow. Believe you are stronger than your problems. You are beyond them already. Focus on that. Love what you can, here and now. ⁠

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienation #parentalalienationischildabuse #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #narcissisiticparent #narcissisticfather

#narcissisticmother #narcissist#narcissists #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticpersonality #narcissism #narcissismawareness #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #alienated