This Ted Talk with a specialist
rocked my world about 4 days
ago.
After being exampled yet again
at very high cost to me,
listening to her ,I am sure to
be more discerning about
my energy and luxuriant
in every minute of drama
and trauma free peace.
That’s most disturbing of all
to this narcissistic epidemic;
They know not Peace !
Unfortunately psychiatric “care” by an alumni of his reduced me physically and mentally , spiritually depleted with absolutely no one who had an awareness and supported me .
It was a wasteland ; and in that space he went for the juggler as his ” non interest ” was exhibited with his new supply were giddy with new love .
Showing me that I had no place at the table as it were , he walked out and I knew I’d be in peril due to ALL being his .
Being so medicated as to render me indefensible and secretive information that received years later bear out his strategy of complete alienation of anything healthy , joyful or equatable .
Winner take all ,and yes he tried
The one message I have for you today is this…
If the person who’s causing you pain had any plans to stop hurting you, they would have done it by now.
If you are dealing with a narcissist, never, ever give credence to their words. Always pay attention to their actions.
And they don’t get credit for “being good” for a few days if they go back to being abusive. Even Hitler had his moments of seeming kindness.
Some people are excellent actors, reading you the script you want to hear that feeds into the fantasy that things will get better…soon, one day, if only you hang in there.
On the flip side, a person might not be generous with kind words, but you know from their actions that they care about you …because they SHOW it.
Lip service does not lead to happiness. Take a long hard look at the patterns and draw your conclusions from there.
And if you need support, check out the resources in my link.
There’s something in there for everyone.:
ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ
#newlife #nocontact #spiritual #healing #lifebeginsafternocontact #narcissisticabuserecovery
Her words blew me away as the experiences I have had are part of the entirety of the dark shadow that never sees the light .
I seemed to have known for decades after event after event , stagnant growth that deteriorated in a lack of consciousness and connection with God and he must have known .
Loosing respect , trust and love as you fear for your children while in a ” chemical straightjacket ” and under his control , unable to find legal representation for this ongoing high conflict , malignant war he remains in .
In a time of rising consciousness , those who continue to abuse , use and target another are exposing themselves in the equation .
Across the board , the highest on high in our world to the lowest of the low , we choose our destiny after hardships that defy anything close to normal , or safe .
On my own is absolutely the right place for me 🙏
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The parent-child relationship is one of the strongest human bonds and it is totally heartbreaking when a parent and a child are no longer in contact. Two reasons for this can be parental alienation or estrangement. Two sides of the same coin. Both involve grief, regret, torment, and heartbreaking separation, but are also different as I shall try to explain below.
In the Journal of Forensic Science, the difference between parental alienation and realistic estrangement was defined this way: Parental alienation is the rejection of a parent without legitimate justification and realistic estrangement is the rejection of a parent for a good reason.
Parental alienation: When the relationship was previously loving, and in the absence of emotional or physical abuse, parental alienation is seldom initiated by the child. This pathological behaviour is born of a false or illogical belief fostered by the alienating parent, out of hatred, fear, envy, or disrespect, usually during and after a high conflict divorce, though alienation behaviours might have started while the parents were living together under the same roof. The alienating parent will use the child as a weapon by undermining their previously happy, loving relationship with the mentally healthy parent. With parental alienation, the child treats the parents as good and bad, right and wrong. They take on the alienating parent’s beliefs, justifications, fears, anger, language … they become loyal defenders of the ‘good’ parent because that parent has worked on them. Some liken it to a cult leader and their followers, or to brainwashing. The child aligns with the aggressor (please see my post on this).
Estrangement: Although this is also traumatic and heartbreaking, it is different to parental alienation. It doesn’t stem from the other parent doing all they can to destroy the parent/child loving relationship, but instead from the child’s independent-minded decision. The child puts up a boundary to prevent unwanted behaviour from his/her parent. This can include a great many things, including family conflict, disparaging behaviour, disagreements over life choices, violence, and abusive language .. … It is sadly fairly common for a parent who is estranged from his/her children to blame the other parent of parental alienation. It is easier to blame others than to take on any blame and responsibility themselves. The parent’s behaviour could be driving a child away, but their lawyer blames it on alienation. This is a travesty of justice, and courts must be more aware of these false accusations. It is important to evidence everything.
Whether you are going through estrangement or parental alienation, it is essential to get the emotional support you need. If you are reunited with your child, you can also try family counselling to help repair the relationship. I advocate Conscious Parenting. Whatever you choose, never hesitate to reach out for help. If the reconnection isn’t yet happening, or it’s been a long time since you’ve experienced separation, make sure you are looking after yourself, to get beyond grief and rage, and try to accept the situation, best you can. You deserve to be happy.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have reduced gray matter volume in areas of the brain related to empathy, preventing them from forming an emotional or limbic bond with others, including their own children. This is also why they don’t experience the heartbreak of breaking up as normal people do.
Narcissists don’t attach to others, which is why they can easily form new relationships, while their former partners are left to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts for months or years.
In many ways, the limbic system can keep non-disordered people attached to their toxic ex-partners. Any form of contact, especially when it’s physical, triggers those same feel-good hormones. That’s why cutting sex– even after you’ve broken up- can be so challenging.
The brain interprets those experiences as pleasurable and essentially starts to crave them. That’s why you may keep texting, spending time, or even sleeping with your ex- despite your best intentions to move on.
Breakups aren’t easy, but you’re only reinforcing the brain’s confusion if you keep going back and forth. In addition, the brain will only continue supporting negative messages about loneliness and unlovability.
Remember, your limbic system is very smart, but it’s also highly primitive. It’s focused on in-the-moment survival to keep you alive. That doesn’t mean it inherently reinforces the best decisions.
Of course, at the present moment, staying with your ex may feel good. But long-term, this decision only creates more pain and problems.
Fortunately, you can overcome your limbic system. However, doing so requires repeated actions grounded in moving on with your life. In most cases, this means embracing a no-contact approach with your ex. Over time, your brain will catch up to reinforce your decisions.
Learn how to do no contact and move on with The Break Free Program:
Narcissists are emotional vampires.
They will drain every last bit of light and sparkle from you. Listen to your gut and don’t ignore the first red flag. 💛
The story of Medusa is a story of the natural response to injustice, and of the vilifying of feminine rage.
Medusa was said to be born exceptionally beautiful, and because of this she caught the eye of Poseidon, who impregnated her in the temple of Athena. When Athena learned of this, it is said that she punished Medusa by turning her into a Gorgon and exiling her.
For ages the story of Medusa has put fear into people, but the true story here is that Medusa was a victim because of her physical beauty, and then she became empowered and as a result was feared.
What if Athena exiled and turned her it into a gorgon not as a punishment, but as an act of grace and empowerment? That never again should Medusa be violated? She gave her space and a powerful means to protect herself. Medusa now had the ability turn to stone anyone who came after her with the intent to harm or violate.
Even after Perseus managed to kill Medusa by her severing her head from her body, her power wasn’t diminished. It’s said that the blood from her head had the ability to both kill and to raise from the dead. A lock of her hair was used to protect an entire city!!
Medusa is a symbol of feminine rage. Patriarchy sees the female body as either something to exploit, to fear or to distain, rather than respect and revere. It certainly doesn’t want push back or empowered rage. So we’ve been spoon fed these ghastly distorted tales, warning women to “know their place”. But reading between the lines we see a while other story.
Righteous Rage alway has a place in society and within each of us.
In yesterday‘s post I spoke of the goddess Durga, with her many arms and her ability to destroy demons and to protect and liberate. What if Medusa is really just a vilified archetype similar to Durga? Imagine stopping violence and lies dead in its tracks just by one’s gaze ? By calling it for what it is?
Read between the lines, we see a whole other story of Medusa than what we’ve been fed. We see the story of righteous rage and feminine justice. And the power it has to destroy, heal and protect.
Image: statue by Luciano Garbati – reimagining of Medusa
#medusa
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 