Tag: survivors

Perfectionist- OCD

Labeled a ” mental disorder ”

or trauma response ?

Being subjected to a

perfectionist as a child can and

does create ” Patty Perfect ”

ends up in overwhelming

life situations, burdened with

responsibilities and many

negatives can result .

Alcoholism is just one response

but expecting all around you

to be perfect is a heavy burden

especially when one does not

strive for perfection perhaps

having laid that burden down !

Qualifying behaviors, as just

” my OCD” kicking in doesn’t

resonate when it’s a place for

blame , or projected blame

always pointing out the lack

in another . It’s a stressful

situation and personally I

don’t do well under such

pressure .

I had ” family ” members via

marriage that were always

exclusive in their bond , found

me less than desirable and a

partner who did not ever have

my back , but rather joined in

the ladies constant criticism

and judgment which was

highly toxic and really affected

me as a newly wed , mother

the 1st year and for several

decades . I did not want to be

in their company as it became

more intense and flagrantly

obvious!

I was not fully aware that our

sons had adapted to this , and

with those last 5 years in toxic

treatment for ” bipolar ” it

was a mantra of ex and his

family that I chose to be

Bipolar and gravely ill to get

out of my duties as Mom .

I’m sure ex felt the loss of my

inability to do my ” jobs”

and further neglected the

horrific situation and it’s effect

on our sons .

He was busy making plans to

exit with as much as possible

and covertly blame all

failures on me .

Of course it’s always been and

always will be his job to heal

that childhood desire or

pressure for perfection but I’m

keenly aware of what a toll

that takes on everyone in his

world as he always is in that

mode and never really

enjoying the moment and that

radiates to others negatively .

It’s the ” bar” expected of those

around him ; Great

Expectations that I could not

meet which made me less

than in his opinion!

I realize how it drained him

and noted how scheduled he

was concerning his personal

habits .

He had no idea , nor did he

care how anything affected

me .

iocdf.org/about-OCD/

Solitude is not Loneliness

I have a sweet man friend who came up to me at a music hall and asked if he could join me because I looked lonely!

I replied that far from truth I enjoy watching others and being on my own was not lonely.

Having had a partner , with whom I felt lonely, the pain of loneliness was acute from no contact with our sons .

But as my knowledge grew of this loneliness, I realized I would die of it and that was the objective of ex , and making peace within , I surrendered loneliness and birthdays and holidays and his never ending control and abuse long after the finale divorce .

I never knew lonely is such depth until all I knew and loved in my family was removed to serve him and his dark shadow

“Solitude isn’t loneliness. Solitude is when the entire serene universe seems to surround and hold you quietly.”

― Victoria Erickson

Artist: Kate Bedell

Solitude is not about avoiding being with other people. It’s about being with yourself. In the words of Lao Tzu: ‘Ordinary men hate solitude. But the Master makes use of it, embracing his aloneness, realising he is one with the whole universe.’

The solution is to know thyself. When you connect with your essence and live your individual truth, you will find happiness. That connection demands you to move within and embrace aloneness.

KŌ B’A JÃ

🦋💜✨

Forgiveness& Letting Go

When someone does us wrong, takes advantage of us betrays or misunderstands and judges us, we need to stand in our power. When we cannot let go of the wrongs done to us we carry a burden that is not ours. We engage with low vibration energy and form a connection to the person who treated us unfairly. It is a trap that keeps us from ascending into the higher vibrations of spiritual consciousness. The higher your consciousness the more others and the world will try and pull you back into the chaos. It is only forgiveness and letting go that we discover our freedom. Forgiveness doesn’t release another from their thoughts and actions. The negativity or low vibration that they generated becomes their property until they eventually confront it, heal and evolve. When we engage we share in the energy.

Strength of a Woman – Shaggy

My dear friend Susan Huff shared this song with me , instructing me to turn it up and 🕺!

Susan Huff showed up on my mountain top home and proceeded ( with many challenges ) with her life partner John Bell to open a community store full of local offerings .

Susan graduate of Integrative Nutrition is a superb and creative organic maestro in the culinary. She has worked with me and provides A plus meals and specializes in Soup ; thus The Soup Shop was born and it answered a long standing dream of mine !!!

And it’s as locally stocked as one can provide !

I am indeed Blessed ; especially after the experience of an opponent who targeted me , in business and reduced my income to the degree of requiring charity !

WOW !

Shades of the former ” partner” without marriage , just a very crooked shadow that failed in an attempt to divest me of everything , or counting on me to commit suicide ?!

It’s been a very harsh and hard lesson that brought about much enlightenment and now conclusions that insure I am not ever going to be vulnerable in any way shape or form

Like the former , in affirming you don’t care if I eat or am safe but create drama and trauma to steal anything and every thing , in denial of your responsibilities…. END GAME

So yea I know my invaluable strengths , the karmic return for each person who masked the evil and devil energy of lies and secrets .

Thank you and I surrender this to Divine

Almost brunch time , yes I cook in my room and it’s so much easier with my angels Susan Huff whose food is my medicine

Hailing from Florida and a very tiny lady , Susan feels our chill on our mountain which is damp based and righteous!

The Soup Shop Is on Face Book

Strength of A Woman – Shaggy

youtube.com/watch

It Will happen to Everyone- by Inspired

Nov 7, 2022 at 8:12am

It Will Happen To Everyone

I have come to expect it. In any way, shape or form. The Creator will always find a way to speak to me. This morning it was through the subtle but insistently timed barks from our dog Jagger. After 12 years with our beloved, stubborn friend I know exactly what the various kinds of sounds mean. This one meant, “nature calls”.

Jagger was happy to see me and off we went. A misty, muggy Tennessee morning awaited us.
Our walks together often times turn into a meditation and sometimes I return to the house with a new realization. New to me at least.

Perhaps you have heard the word Wetiko before. It is what some American Indian clans desribe as a mind virus, the selfishness sickness. The reason why it’s described as a virus is because it’s actually contagious. Not through tiny, invisible physical particles, but through the invisible information field all around us.

It keeps us disconnected from truth, from Spirit and from an authentic connection to each other and Creation itself.

Wetiko makes us mad, crazy, greedy, aggressive, self-centered and destructive.
Wetiko pretty much describes the world we lived in and perhaps the world many still think we live in today.
It’s the selfishness part that made me realize something this morning.

All of us who are going through this ‘Great Awakening’ are experiencing the same thing. We can’t help but think of the greater good, of the wellbeing of all and especially of the generations to come. No matter what our upbringing was like, what political affiliation we might have, what our religious beliefs are – we all want to improve and transform this place for ALL of Creation.

So the healing from this mind virus means that we return to a more natural and authentic state of being. We begin to care again. Care deeply.
All of a sudden the simple platitudes like, “if you talk about the greater good you’re a socialist” seem very out of place and shortsided.

Yes, we can stand for individual freedom and still desire to do what’s best for us AND all others. Yes, we can actually make sure that the 7th generation (500+ years from now) will inherit a much better world than we did.

Within this ‘Great Awakening’ ie healing from the mind virus, we become who we were always destined to be. And the beautiful thing is that just like Wetiko itself, the ‘Great Awakening’ is also contagious.
Because it’s transmitted through the invisible information field all around us.

Eventually, if we haven’t passed the point yet, we will see the 100th monkey effect and withing a very short period of time, tremendous quantum leaps will be made and monumental changes will happen on earth. Well, I think they already are.

We are healing from Wetiko and eventually it will happen to everyone.

Words of Assurance

Matthew Ward Message: Words of Assurance
Via Suzanne Ward

11/01/2022

With loving greetings from all souls at this station, this is Matthew. Shake, rattle and roll aptly describes Earth’s energy field of potential, which is a reflection of light forces’ amped-up activity on the planet to dismantle the remnants of the Illuminati’s global network.

Most of the populace have no idea what is underlying happenings that are causing them stress and fear, and they don’t know they have the ability to change anything.

A highly evolved soul, Arnold by name, recently spoke about this, and it is our great pleasure to share his words.

Earth’s people believe they are powerless to change situations they see as grave because they don’t know the power of the mind is boundless. That knowledge has been hidden from them by the darkness that also has kept them trapped for millennia in deception, delusion, fear and battles.

You volunteered to help them escape from that entrapment and you are eager for evidence that your mission is indeed bearing fruit. Dear souls, soon you shall have it. Puppets of the darkness will cause chaos for a short period before accepting that the light forces have defeated them.

During that period, anxiety and confusion will be widespread, but when the brilliance of the light—and yours is a grand part of it—shines through the settling dust and revelations come forth, Earth’s people will embrace the abundance of love energy and set about transforming their world.

You have the honor, gratitude and unconditional love of all light beings in this universe for your invaluable contributions to Gaia and all of Earth’s residents.

Thank you, Suzanne, for recording my remarks, and thank you, Matthew, for graciously offering to include them in your message.

[Arnold’s first message and Matthew’s information about him is in the September 16, 2019 message archived on http://www.matthewbooks.com.%5D

We thank you, Arnold, for your stirring words of assurance and loving tribute to lightworkers.

Another indication of the effectiveness of your light, dear family, is this email that is similar to others my mother is receiving: “As a retired professor and avid reader, I thought I was fairly knowledgeable until a few days ago, when a former colleague sent me your newsletter. This is the first I have seen information like this and I can’t stop thinking about it. I am especially interested in knowing about ‘awakening.’ How will I know if I ‘awaken’? Does it come as a rush of enlightenment or in phases? Will I feel different emotionally?”

Our response to the dear soul who wrote applies to every soul-searcher, and thanks to ever-rising vibrations, their numbers are increasing by the day. Most simply stated, awakening is entering higher dimensions of spiritual and conscious awareness. For the writer, the process began by contemplating our information instead of dismissing it, but the beginning can come in a number of other ways.

You may doubt the accuracy of something in a newscast whereas formerly you didn’t question reports from that source. Possibly you read something that is startling, yet it rings true, and you feel motivated to learn more about that subject. Maybe someone’s perspective of an important issue suddenly seems much more insightful than you previously thought, and your view now seems short-sighted. You may come across a metaphysical book or Internet site that piques your interest in knowing more about what exists beyond the five senses. Or, maybe in a quiet moment the resolution to a baffling situation suddenly is clear, and you wonder what other information may be in the stillness of your mind.

However awakening begins, you will feel exhilarated by thinking more deeply and perceiving situations more broadly. You will experience a sense of Aha! as well as humility as you learn to trust your intuition in distinguishing truth from falsehood. The desire to know more about yourself and your world starts feeling natural, as if you have turned a corner and are excited about exploring new territory.

As you traverse this pathway of expanding spiritual and conscious awareness, you will come to know that you are a soul, not a person who has a soul, and you chose to experience this lifetime on Earth. You will learn about multiple lifetimes in various civilizations in this universe, and that between incarnations, you live in a spirit world. Learning about soul contracts and pre-birth agreements will let you understand why some relationships and circumstances are splendid and others are difficult.

You will learn that light and love are the same energy, consciousness emanating from Creator, the supreme being of the cosmos, and it is the most powerful force in existence. In this universe, the energy comes from God, by whatever name you call the supreme being of this universe. As an aspect of God, you are a unique, independent immortal soul energetically connected with every other life form throughout this universe and with Creator. Along with seeing yourself as a multidimensional member of the universal family, you will learn about your powerful innate abilities.

Every step along this pathway of discovery will evoke a profound sense of awe, fulfillment and gratitude for new knowledge. Yet, the reality of your experiencing is even more profound—it has been a process is self-discovery and what you have learned is not new knowledge. Everything is known at soul level, and by consciously tapping into that vastness, you are remembering what you already know.

The universal law of attraction—like attracts like—is bringing together awakening and awakened souls. This connecting of kindred spirits will continue until there is unity in the collective consciousness and Earth’s Golden Age can begin blooming in glorious earnestness.

Manifesting that sublime Age will entail establishing new systems, institutions, policies, methods and attitudes to replace the old that no longer serve any purpose. For millennia those ways that are rooted in harshness, ignorance, unjustness, divisiveness, prejudice, economic disparity and warring have enabled countless souls in this universe to experience what they chose to complete third density karmic lessons and attain balance so they could evolve to fourth density. The time for that is rapidly coming to an end on Earth. Then, souls who want to complete 3D karma will incarnate in some third density world that offers them those circumstances they need.

The transitional path from old ways to new will be a joyful, exciting adventure for all who choose to go in that direction. Still, some steps that are clearing the way to that path may not be easily accepted, and we thank the sensitive soul who wrote about one such step.

“I would like to know how souls at your station feel about condemning to death people who commit terrible crimes instead of life terms in prison. What does it say about us spiritually and evolutionary-wise if we sanction ‘legal’ killing even though the afterlife review will be severe punishment? Can you tell me why trials for some civilians are held in military courts instead of courts with a jury of peers? Can you explain why God lets any of His children become dangerous criminals and lost souls?”

That any members of our universal family lose their way to the extent that some have is a deep sadness for all of us at this station. However, that feeling cannot linger because its low vibrations would interrupt the continuous flow of light that helps keep the universe in balance.

Darkness in your world cannot be extinguished completely if persons who committed crimes against humanity are imprisoned. Individuals who planned and carried out the “pandemic,” are involved in sex-trafficking and pedophilia, participate in satanic rituals or commit other atrocities are puppets of the darkness. As long as they are living on Earth, their thoughts and feelings will continue to generate the lowest of vibrations.

Vibrations, high and low, are contagious. It is easy to see how quickly the high vibes of joy and laughter spread. The spread of low vibrations becomes noticeable only after it is too late to reverse its destructive course. That is why the dark forces were able to annihilate civilizations in other worlds and obliterate entire planets. It is why that force twice was able to take over ancient civilizations in your world and much later, send the planet spiraling down into deep third density. Gaia does not want that to happen again.

The civilians whose trials are in military courts are individuals who committed one or more of the aforementioned crimes. With good reason they are not tried in criminal courts, where bribery, threats, lying, strategic delays, withholding incriminating evidence, false accusations, technicalities that result in case dismissal, and plea bargaining are frequent. Also, guilty verdicts can be appealed. None of that occurs in military courts. When evidence is overwhelming and irrefutable, the verdict is guilty and a punishment that fits the crime. Everything is handled legally, judiciously and quickly.

Please do not interpret our addressing the death penalty for individuals who are guilty of committing unconscionable acts as our endorsement of souls killing other souls. It is that we understand why, in this situation, this is necessary. Manifesting Earth’s destiny, her Golden Age, requires the eradication of all darkness on the planet, and that cannot be accomplished if puppets of the dark forces—and they number in the many thousands—continue emitting the low vibrations that enable the forces’ influence not only to remain, but spread.

In last month’s message we talked about the power of forgiving souls. What we said in that message is especially relevant to the individuals we are speaking about today.

Now then, the life review process is not a replacement or substitute for your society’s lawful trials, and it is a misunderstanding that the review is punishment. It is the universal law of physics that pertains to the consequences of an individual’s free will actions and intentions, a lifelong “movie” that includes the very same feelings of every person whose life that individual touched. Many reviews are joyous occasions that can be reverently thought of as the grand finale of a kind, caring person’s lifetime on Earth. That is not the case for individuals the dear soul who wrote is referring to.

If God could prevent any of His children from becoming heinous criminals, surely He would. But He cannot—He is bound to honor Creator’s gift of free will to every soul in this universe. He is not permitted to interfere even when some of His children treat others in unconscionable ways, start wars or embark upon genocide. As “an amalgamation of every soul in this universe”—His words—He knows every thought and feels every emotion, from joy to grief, from safety to fear, of all His children, and He suffers the same physical pain they do. To us, that is an unimaginable burden, but He bears it willingly because His love for all His children is unconditional.

“Lost souls” are the province of Creator, the source of the love-light energy in which all souls in the cosmos originated and the only power that can declare a soul lost. If, after a soul’s myriad lifetimes in darkness and continuous offers of light forces’ help to break free of dark forces’ influence, it still chooses the path of atrocity, violence and fearmongering, Creator draws the soul’s energy back into Itself. When that happens, and it is extremely rare, it is as if that soul never existed.

Now, beloved brothers and sisters, we end our message with the love and upliftment of Arnold’s words: You volunteered to help them escape from that entrapment and you are eager for evidence that your mission is indeed bearing fruit. Dear souls, soon you shall have it. … You have the honor, gratitude and unconditional love of all light beings in this universe for your invaluable contributions to Gaia and all of Earth’s residents.

LOVE and PEACE

Suzanne Ward

Please send questions and comments to suzy@matthewbooks.com

by EraOfLight

Self Love

I had to self love or buy that the distorted , malignant abuse was deserved .

I touched on his distorted mentality, but had no validation and then it was the chemical straightjacket of psychiatry that allowed him to blame me for everything and he to be the hero/ savior/ father /child who was never interested in partnership or growth as a couple or in parenting our 3 sons

He’s past due for the facts and an end to his every effort to control and destroy me , mentally , physically and most of all spiritually . I never ever sensed his connection to any higher power .

Self nurture , and self love were absolutely necessary in my varied efforts to survive !

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

“Do you love Me?” Alice asked.

“No, I don’t love you!” replied the White Rabbit.

Alice frowned and clasped her hands together as she did whenever she felt hurt.

“See?” replied the White Rabbit. “Now you’re going to start asking yourself what makes you so imperfect and what did you do wrong so that I can’t love you at least a little.

You know, that’s why I can’t love you. You will not always be loved Alice, there will be days when others will be tired and bored with life, will have their heads in the clouds, and will hurt you.

Because people are like that, they somehow always end up hurting each other’s feelings, whether through carelessness, misunderstanding, or conflicts with themselves.

If you don’t love yourself, at least a little, if you don’t create an armor of self-love and happiness around your heart, the feeble annoyances caused by others will become lethal and will destroy you.

The first time I saw you I made a pact with myself: ‘I will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself.’ ”

– Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Childress -Treatment

I should talk about treatment.

You should know stuff about treatment. I thought about telling you about delusional disorders, you should know what they are too. But you need to know about treatment more.

Not the treatment of your children and this pathology – yet – just treatment of treatment stuff. Like behavior therapy and an Applied Behavioral Analysis. You should know about that (it will lead into DBT therapy because DBT is based on behavioral therapy principles of Applied Behavioral Analysis).

Behavior therapy is the “B” in DBT. You should know what the A-B-C’s of ABA are. What? Exactly.

It’s easy once you understand it. The Contingent Visitation Schedule is a behavior therapy structure (over a Strategic family systems intervention).

You should know about Solution-Focused therapy most definitely. That’s what’s going to unlock the trauma piece of the puzzle and get things moving forward. Do things seem stuck in one place? Solution-Focused therapy will unstick it.

You should also know about Narrative therapy – it is excellent. It’s a tricky little post-modern social constructionsist therapy, it’s in the same school of psychotherapy as Solution-Focused therapy. I use Narrative therapy all the time and no one sees it because no one knows what it is. I should introduce you to Narrative therapy.

Don’t try this at home kids, Dr. Childress is a trained professional. If untrained people start using knowledge willy-nilly, you might create a better world, and you wouldn’t want that.

So be careful with the knowledge I give you. The application of knowledge by untrained people could create a wonderful world, and you’re not ready for that yet – so use it in small doses so you don’t create wonderful too fast. Slowly.

I should tell you about therapy. Not therapy for your kids, not exactly, not yet. Just therapy for therapy things. What is it and how does it work.

There’s schools of therapy – four – actually five – actually six. Five and six are amazingly effective, but you need to know schools one-through-four as the basics for understanding therapy, then add five, then add six.

The four primary schools are

1. Psychoanalytic – Freud and the couch – this is the grand-daddy school of them all, called “depth-psychology” – it’s evolved to Self Psychology with a primary guy Kohut who is immensely relevant to the family conflict pathology in the courts. Bowlby, attachment, and Tronick, intersubjectivity, are in the psychoanalytic school.

2. Cognitive-Behavioral (CBT) – Skinner and lab animals – this is the reward-and-punishment behavioral therapy approach. Actually it’s about cues and triggers – what cues (elicits) the behavior. Sometimes it’s what we think – that’s the cognitive part of CBT. It’s the primary school in use most everywhere, and CBT is the foundation for DBT (Linehan).

3. Humanisitic-Existential – self-actualization and growth – this is the soft and accepting school of therapy – Rogers Client Centered therapy. This school of therapy is about transformations, it’s not appropriate for the pathology here in the family courts.

Family Systems – it’s about families and how they work – this is the school of psychotherapy that should be applied when diagnosing and treating family conflict – there’s three schools within family systems – Minuchin Structural – Haley & Madanes Strategic – Bowen Bowenian (he kinda describes it all, with the others expanding on Bowen-themes).

The fifth school is Post-Modern Social Constructionism – I think of them as boutique therapies – Cultural therapy – Feminist therapy – Solution-Focused therapy – Narrative therapy. They are all amazingly powerful, tricky to learn but powerful when used.

I strongly suggest the addition of Solution-Focused therapy to DBT family therapy for this pathology in the courts, it will release the process from its focus on the past. I add Solution-Focused therapy to pretty much everything I do from the other schools of psychotherapy.

I like Narrative therapy a lot. I use it a lot. I embed Narrative therapy into my work in the other schools as well. The Post-Modern Social Construction schools of psychotherapy are like principles – you can use the principles within the other schools as well.

They all blend. But do you know what happens when you blend a bunch of paints together? It turns to mud-color. Mixing colors to create a painting is a professional craft.

I should tell you about therapy. You’re going to want DBT (court-adapted), that’s from the Cognitive-Behavioral school, so you should know about an Applied Behavioral Analysis, you’ll find that helpful.

You should know about attachment-therapy, that’s from the Psychoanalytic school – that’s going to be Tronick and his breach-and-repair sequence. You’ll find that helpful too – watch Tronick’s Still Face YouTube description of his research on the breach-and-repair sequence.

You should know about Solution-Focused therapy too so you can get un-stuck from your stuck. You’d probably like to be unstuck from your stuck.

Dr. Childress and the School of Rock… er… Psychotherapy, this Sunday 8 Pacific on Facebook Live. Let’s change the world – slowly – go slow – you don’t want to create wonderful too fast, you’re not ready for a wonderful world just yet, so just use a little of the knowledge I give you to solve little things until you’re ready to solve everything.

Don’t create the solution too fast because then you won’t have a problem to fix, and you need your problem. Why do you need your problem? I don’t know. It makes no sense to me, but you hold onto it so I guess you need it.

So fix it slowly. Otherwise you’ll wind up with everything fixed and you won’t have your problems anymore.

Dr. Childress – Schools of Psychotherapy – Sunday over morning coffee and crumpets. Let’s rock this Internet thing and take her out for a spin to see what she can do – tomorrow at 8 Pacific.

Schools of Psychotherapy and coffee with Dr. Childress.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857