I had to self love or buy that the distorted , malignant abuse was deserved .
I touched on his distorted mentality, but had no validation and then it was the chemical straightjacket of psychiatry that allowed him to blame me for everything and he to be the hero/ savior/ father /child who was never interested in partnership or growth as a couple or in parenting our 3 sons
He’s past due for the facts and an end to his every effort to control and destroy me , mentally , physically and most of all spiritually . I never ever sensed his connection to any higher power .
Self nurture , and self love were absolutely necessary in my varied efforts to survive !
Blessings & Peace
“Do you love Me?” Alice asked.
“No, I don’t love you!” replied the White Rabbit.
Alice frowned and clasped her hands together as she did whenever she felt hurt.
“See?” replied the White Rabbit. “Now you’re going to start asking yourself what makes you so imperfect and what did you do wrong so that I can’t love you at least a little.
You know, that’s why I can’t love you. You will not always be loved Alice, there will be days when others will be tired and bored with life, will have their heads in the clouds, and will hurt you.
Because people are like that, they somehow always end up hurting each other’s feelings, whether through carelessness, misunderstanding, or conflicts with themselves.
If you don’t love yourself, at least a little, if you don’t create an armor of self-love and happiness around your heart, the feeble annoyances caused by others will become lethal and will destroy you.
The first time I saw you I made a pact with myself: ‘I will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself.’ ”
– Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland