Family & Festive Seasons

The festive season can bring severe boundary breaches, if your family situation is complicated, toxic or just hard. And it can create such a sense of dread, of overwhelm. But remember this, dear one, you are the creator of your life. You are not bound by any legality to the old. Traditions do not have to be continued, if their legacy does not promote love. You can start anew. Someone somewhere has to. Say no, if your gut is twisting with discomfort. Start another, that allows everyone to come as they are, and be accepted in the same way. We are the moment in time, in our family lines. So be that. Create that. If you cannot bear what is, make it better.

Donna Ashworth

Art by Sergiu Laslu. #sergiulaslo

#familyissues #festivestress #stressatchristmas #family #wordstoliveby

High Expectations May Be Damaging Our Kids, Study Shows

Are your high expectations of your children doing more harm than good? According to a recent study, they just might be. Keep reading to learn more.
— Read on www.creativehealthyfamily.com/high-expectations-damage-kids-study/

Abandonment Issues – Sherrie Campbell PhD

Tuesday Teachings

Abandonment syndrome is real. It results from not being able to count on those closest to us to be there with any predictability, stability or consistency. We are left constantly feeling as if the bottom could fall out at any minute, and no one will be there to lovingly and willingly support us.

It is impossible to develop trust in a family where we live each day having to cope with their unregulated moodiness, selfishness, and manipulation. We cannot feel safe when we never know where we stand. This type of hidden abuse creates abandonment syndrome.

When we suffer from abandonment syndrome, we live life walking delicately on eggshells. We overthink, over-care, and overdo to try and keep relationships. We desperately try not to be too much of something bad and not enough of something good.

To be placed in this type of position is emotional abuse at its finest. We have the right to stop this pattern of abandonment in our lives. We must set our boundaries and then fiercely stand by them.

Focusing on Trauma and Involving Families in Care Could Help Prevent Early Death – Mad In America

Lived-experience researchers: Focusing on trauma-informed care and involving families in treatment could help reduce early death.
— Read on www.madinamerica.com/2023/11/trauma-families-prevent-early-death/

Touch Starvation – Associated with Narcissist

This was treated like it was normal. Romantic gestures , kisses , hugs , intimacy were not part of marriage . It was deadly to my spirit and my soul , yet I held faith that change would come ..I think I became fearful of what life would be like with 3 small sons .. I learned to pick my battles in an time when there was soooo much going on . Discovering I had been responsible for everything except his day to day work, was daunting …

My body spoke to me when I quit smoking , Xanax covered and smothered my symptoms , as my highly sensitive self became an addict quickly and overdosed which was seen as bipolar ..

Touch was just one weapon in the brutality of a man at war , and is in charge ..

youtube.com/watch

Family Courts – Craig Childress Psy D

I think you’ll find my Fireside Chat on 4-Day Recovery Workshops in the Family Courts helpful.

Hopefully it makes sense of nonsense. Who’s who and what’s what in the family courts – who are all these people? It can get confusing.

But not so much. There’s four categories – forensic psychology who own you – Gardnerian PAS “experts” who want to be experts in something – Dorcy Pruter, she’s a singular, she is the category – then there’s me, Dr. Childress, I’m a singular too, sort of.

I’m not a person, I’m an idea, I’m a category too – but in a different way. Dorcy’s unique because she’s unique, I’m unique because I’m common – I’m knowledge applied, and knowledge belongs to everyone.

I’m not the source of the knowledge – the finger that points at the moon is not the moon. Once everyone applies the established knowledge… I vanish into the knowledge. I was never here at all, it was just the knowledge clothed in a body of me.

Dorcy’s kind of an action. I’m kind of an idea. Put the two together and you get an idea in action.

We’re just two people basically working outside of the system… renegades, rebels, technically called “divergent members” in our collective professional social group.

We don’t fit in because the systems are broken and we’re not.

We fix things. She fixes kids and families, I fix broken systems. We need both parts of the solution.

We can’t solve the pathology for any individual child and family until we fix the broken systems, and when we fix the broken systems, we solve the pathology for all children and all families everywhere… so you’re kind of all in this together.

THEN… once we fix the systems (my role), we still need to fix the kids and families one-by-one – because one-by-one is how they exist, that’s where Dorcy comes in – tag you’re it.

Dr. Childress will help you get the diagnosis – Child Psychological Abuse – that will lead to the protective separation needed for treatment. Then Dorcy can help with the fixing part.

What about the forensic psychologists? The entire field of forensic psychology needs to die – and it will – it’s simply awful on so many levels in so many ways. Bye-bye.

Clinical psychology needs to return to court-involved custody conflict – treatment not custody – but we need to make it safe for them or they won’t come here. We need a new group – court-involved clinical psychologists. That’s what I am. I’m the first. I’m your role model.

I’m Daniel Boone blazing the trail for clinical psychologists to return to the family courts – treatment not custody – diagnosis guides treatment. I’m the first, I’m unique because I’m the first, but I’m not the last – I want lots of me’s here. Then I’m not unique, I’m entirely common.

Twirly thing.

If you’re a mental health professional in the family courts and you don’t know as much as I do… why not? Are you just lazy? I should NOT have to explain the pathology to a doctor… you should already know – Standard 2.01 Boundaries of Competence.

I’m the floor, not the ceiling.

Professional standards of practice need to return to court-involved custody conflict. Don’t be ignorant. Don’t be lazy. This is too important, a child’s life hangs in the balance of the court’s decisions.

Once the clinical psychologists return – treatment not custody – a solution will be available… then…. we need to restore, recover, and stabilize healthy and normal-range attachment bonds surrounding divorce.

What about the Gardnerian PAS “experts” – what happens to them? They are irrelevant, they can only delay but they cannot stop the solution. They want to be “experts” so badly, but they are only “experts” in something they can entirely make up… because in truth, they’re not experts in anything at all, they’re not even competent.

Let that sink in… the self-asserted “experts” are not even competent. It’s bad here – really bad. So bad, the patients have to explain the pathology to the doctors – that’s so bad.

What’s the definition of a grandiose delusion? Would a fixed and false belief that you’re discovering a new pathology unique in all of mental health that no one else recognizes or understands, would that be a grandiose delusion?

I suspect it is. I’ll bet if you conducted a Mental Status Exam of thought and perception on a Gardnerian PAS “expert” you’d discover that their thinking isn’t very linear or logical – it’s kinda thought disordered – it doesn’t make sense.

The forensic psychologists have a vested interest in the continuation of their failed forensic psychology experiment in service delivery because that’s how they make money to make their house payments – they don’t know how do do anything else.

Look at their vitaes, they ONLY do one thing, forensic custody evaluations – that solve nothing and are entirely bad. What happens to them when their failed experiment of forensic custody evaluations ends? That’s the ONLY thing they’ve ever done.

Q: What do the forensic psychologists do when forensic psychology in the family courts ends?

A: They’ll be returning to be entry-level psychologists again in some field. Bye-bye to their cushy career they’ve built over years. They do NOT want that so they will try to stop change and stop solution for their own personal needs.

That’s a conflict of interest. There’s no motivation to solve the problem. They like the way things are.

The Gardnerian PAS “experts” have a vested interest in the supposedly “new pathology” they’re supposedly “discovering” because that’s how they make money to make their house payments – they don’t know how do do anything else, they’re only “experts” in this one thing that they can entirely make-up.

What happens when everyone stops using their “parental alienation” pathology, what happens to the Gardnerian PAS “experts”? They’re a nobody. They’re not experts in any real thing, they’re just ordinary and need to get a job.

That’s a conflict of interest. There’s no motivation to solve things. They like the way things are.

They’ve all failed for 40 years – the forensic psychologists have failed to solve the pathology with their forensic custody reports – the Gardnerian PAS “experts” have failed to solve the pathology with their new pathology proposal.

Forty years of failure is ENOUGH.

There are professional psychology people in positions of power and influence who are disabling the mental health system response to the pathology in the family courts for their own personal financial gain. Specific people. Who are they?

Who are the people in power and influence – and what are they doing? Are they solving the pathology or obstructing the solution of a return to the application of established knowledge and professional competence?

Dark motivations – wrong motivations – bad motivations. This is a dark pathology.

I assert that forensic psychology is a creation of the pathogen – i.e., forensic psychology as a separate field was created by a damaged set of information structures in the attachment networks of the brain.

I assert that forensic psychology is a symptom of pathology. An entire field of psychology – is a symptom of pathology. Anyone want to Debate that? I’m in.

I assert that Gardnerian PAS is a creation of the pathogen – i.e., a creation of a damaged set of information structures in the attachment networks of the brain.

I assert that Gardnerian PAS is a symptom of pathology, a group of people represent a symptom of pathology. Anyone want to Debate that? I’m in.

I assert that a field of psychology and a group of people are symptoms, it’s the nature of the trauma pathogen that’s enacting itself – a trauma reenactment narrative (van der Kolk) that’s captivated minds made vulnerable by their histories.

I assert that the attachment system is a primary motivational system of the brain – i.e., the pathogen of damaged information structures in the attachment networks has access to our motivations.

It makes us do stuff. It motivates us toward its purposes, unconscious purposes, dark purposes of personal gratification of our emotional, psychological, and financial-greed needs.

This is a motivational pathology. ADHD and ODD are behavioral and emotional regulatory pathology (brain networks). Autism is a cognitive-relational pathology (brain networks). This pathology in the family courts – is a motivational pathology.

This pathogen has access to our motivational networks – it makes us do things.

It captivates others as allies. It’s highly manipulative, and it hides extremely well. It’s a pathology of lies – all the time – everything about this pathology is a lie – it’s a trauma pathology, a ripple not the splash.

It’s a false pathology. It seeks allies. It finds allies… to disable the response of the mental health system to the pathology in the family courts. It created a new approach to service delivery… just for you. It created a new form of pathology… just for you.

Lucky you.

I assert that the pathogen created both forensic psychology and Gardnerian PAS using allied brains, vulnerable brains it captured on their narcissistic grandiosity and their greed. My-oh-my.

Anyone want to Debate that? Were Forensic Psychology and PAS Created by the Pathology? Affirmative: Dr. Childress. Negative: ??? – pick anyone you want.

I’m in.

Or how about: The Role of Forensic and Clinical Psychology in the Family Courts. Clinical Psychology: Dr. Childress. Forensic Psychology: ??? – pick anyone you want.

I’m in.

Or how about: Does Parental Alienation Exist? Affirmative: ??? – pick anyone you want. Negative: Dr. Childress.

I’m in.

Did I mention the pathogen hides? It does. It hides extremely well.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857