Trauma via being Witness to Events

PTSD can occur not just from directly experiencing a severe traumatic event but also witnessing it happen to others, including close friends, family and loved ones as well as being chronically exposed to the details of the trauma of others in work-related settings.

#narcissisticabuse #toxicrelationships #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #shahidaarabi

The Myth of Chemical Imbalance

From my book “Antidepressed”. By means of the careful scripted pharmaceutical marketing campaigns of the 1990s and pushed by psychiatry, our doctors learned to quickly attribute mental illness to faulty brain biochemistry…defects of dopamine…shortages of serotonin….The covert DSM has been cleverly and unceremoniously drilled into our psyche and until very recently we have generally accepted it without question.”

Slavery via Marriage can actualize

This is an actual extract from a sex education school textbook for

girls, printed in the early 60’s in the UK. So goodnight don’t have nightmares 😂

When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as

possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your

tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.

When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your

husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband’s wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man’s satisfaction is more important than a woman’s. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be

obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night-time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.

Childress on persecution delusion ie parental alienation /ChildAbuse

From Bernet (2020): “A good generic definition for PA is the following: a mental condition in which…”

According to Dr. Bernet, his “parental alienation” construct is a “mental condition” that exists within a person.

It is not a relational process in the family, it is “mental condition” someone has – you have “parental alienation” like you would have Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder, you have a “mental condition” of “parental alienation”.

According to Dr. Bernet, “parental alienation” is not a parent-child relationship process, it is a thing someone has – you have a mental condition of “parental alienation”, it is not a relational process between two people according to this definition.

According to Dr. Bernet, “parental alienation” exists only within one person, it is the “mental condition” of that person. Which person has the “mental condition” of “parental alienation”, the parent or the child?

Does the parent start with the mental condition of “parental alienation” and then give this “mental condition” to the child, or does the child independently develop the “mental condition” of “parental alienation”?

The parent is clearly transmitting the “mental condition” to the child, to form a shared “mental condition.”

What is that shared “mental condition”? It is a fixed and false belief in supposed “victimization”, i.e., it is a shared delusional disorder.

The “mental condition” is called a persecutory delusion. When the parent induces the persecutory delusion in the child, it becomes a shared delusional disorder.

There is no such thing as “parental alienation” – it is an encapsulated shared persecutory delusion (Childress, 2015). Dr. Bernet is simply an abysmal diagnostician.

I’m barely into my line-by-line review of his “five-factor” model and already it’s just PAS with lipstick, and he’s just identified the shared persecutory delusion – “parental alienation” is a mental condition (not a relational process).

Therefore, “parental alienation” exists in the person as a mental condition. What is that mental condition? A fixed and false belief that the child is being malevolently treated in some way by the targeted parent.

That is a persecutory delusion.

From the APS: “Persecutory Type: delusions that the person (or someone to whom the person is close) is being malevolently treated in some way.

That is the “mental condition” of a persecutory delusion. That is the “mental condition” of the parent, that is the “mental condition” of the child. The pathology is a shared persecutory delusion (Childress, 2015), as described in the journal Family Court Review by Walters and Friedlander (2016),

From Walters & Friedlander: “In some RRD families [resist-refuse dynamic], a parent’s underlying encapsulated delusion about the other parent is at the root of the intractability (cf. Johnston & Campbell, 1988, p. 53ff; Childress, 2013). An encapsulated delusion is a fixed, circumscribed belief that persists over time and is not altered by evidence of the inaccuracy of the belief.” (Walters & Friedlander, 2016, p. 426)

From Walters & Friedlander: “When alienation is the predominant factor in the RRD [resist-refuse dynamic}, the theme of the favored parent’s fixed delusion often is that the rejected parent is sexually, physically, and/or emotionally abusing the child. The child may come to share the parent’s encapsulated delusion and to regard the beliefs as his/her own (cf. Childress, 2013).” (Walters & Friedlander, 2016, p. 426)

Walters, M. G., & Friedlander, S. (2016). When a child rejects a parent: Working with the intractable resist/refuse dynamic. Family Court Review, 54(3), 424–445.

There is no such thing as “parental alienation” and the use of that construct in a professional capacity is substantially beneath professional standards of practice and is in violation of Standard 2.04 Bases for Scientific and Professional Judgments of the APA ethics code.

The pathology is an encapsulated shared persecutory delusion. The assessment for delusional thought disorder pathology is a Mental Status Exam of thought and perception.

That is the mental healthcare information that Dr. Bernet should be dispensing to the public – not psychiatric misinformation based on rejected models of diagnosis and pathology.

Dr. Bernet rejects the diagnostic guidance of the American Psychiatric Association. He thinks he knows more than they do. He thinks he’s right and the American Psychiatric Association is wrong.

No… Dr. Bernet is wrong and the American Psychiatric Association is right – there is no such diagnostic pathology as “parental alienation” – the pathology in the family courts is a shared persecutory delusion (Childress, 2015; Walters & Friedlander, 2016).

Dr. Bernet rejects the ethical guidance of the American Psychological Association, he thinks standards of ethical practice don’t apply to him.

No, he’s wrong. Ethical standards of practice are not optional, and no doctors are exempt from their ethical obligations to their patients to provide the most accurate healthcare information possible to their patients.

Healthcare information from the established scientific and professional knowledge of the discipline. The “mental condition” is an shared persecutory delusion (Childress, 2015; Walters & Friedlander, 2016).

Line… by… line…

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Epidemic of HateCrimesAgainstWomen&Girls


“If you don’t like something someone is doing that’s your shadow”

“If you have a negative judgement about someone that’s a projection”


“If you feel angry that’s actually your past trauma getting triggered”

“If you feel a strong NO to something that’s your ego being in resistance”


“All of these are opportunities to look within. Work on yourself. As well as open and surrender your resistance”


I used to believe these things.

They informed my life and my choices.

Yes, sometimes they are true.

They are not rules to be applied blindly to everything.

Like many “conscious women” they paved the way for my own ritualized self harm in the form of pathological self gaslighting.

They drained my life force and dissociated me from my self protective instincts and wisdom.

They entrapped me in narcissistic cult/abusive relationship dynamics.

They groomed me to be perfect prey.

I have watched so many people lost in this labyrinth of false spirituality, completely disconnected from themselves.

Completely dissociated from their own precious human existence. Their own sacred inner knowing.

Getting no where in their “healing” or “awakening”.

Spinning their wheels with no wisdom.

Trapped in the mind and held hostage by these beliefs.

Beliefs which I now believe are a kind of virus that originated from the minds of abusers wrapped in spiritual robes.

I have seen women’s healthy defenses completely dismantled by this paradigm.

I have watched women become sick and sucked dry because of these beliefs.

One woman I loved even died.

Anger is what broke this spell for me.

Anger is what clarified my ability to see.

Anger was the medicine that brought me back to life.

Anger is what grounded me back into my body and sanity.

Anger is exactly what this paradigm does not want you to feel and own.

Now I wonder who would be motivated to tell you that?

Trauma Bonds& Children

Did you know that we’re not the only ones who experience trauma-bonding in toxic relationships?

If you have a narcissist in your home with your children (as their parent or otherwise), they will become trauma-bonded, too.

This partly explains why many children, regardless of age, seem to “side” with the narcissistic parent. There are other reasons for this, but trauma bonding is one of the primary ones. They can’t help themselves.

I wrote an article about the damage narcissists does to children. You can read it here:


Just as you have a hard time analyzing why you dislike the narcissist, but can’t seem to leave them, children are even less equipped to handle trauma-bonding and the other symptoms that arise from narcissistic abuse.

Many of the same dynamics that you experience in your relationship with the narcissist, your children are also experiencing, no matter how much you may try to shield them.

For example, if the narcissist is your partner and they constantly cheat on you, your children experience the backlash from this, as well. And not only from the narcissist, unfortunately. Think about it…if you’re constantly cheated on by the narcissist, how many hours do you spend playing detective, checking out social media for proof, researching narcissism, having meltdowns in your bedroom, and chatting in the forums?

What often happens is that children are not only ignored and neglected by the narcissist, but you can’t be present with them, either, when you are constantly devastated by repeated infidelities and other relationship dramas.

But aside from that, your children become trauma-bonded to the very person you’re trying to protect them from. There’s really no way to shield them from this if there is a narcissist in the home.

Just as you become euphoric over relationship crumbs, so do children.

Just as you become devastated by the lies, so do children.

We want to believe that children are emotionally resilient, but we are now seeing the devastating effects of this old belief. Just as with us, the trauma they experience becomes deeply embedded and affects them their whole lives…often leading them into their own toxic relationships as they mature and become adults.

When there is a narcissist in the home, children cannot learn what healthy love is and many of their own needs are overlooked or unnoticed. There isn’t a magical bubble that protects them from the dysfunctional dynamics of toxic relationships with dysfunctional people.


Ready to put up an electric fence? Then (if you haven’t already), make sure you watch my free workshop on severing trauma bonds.


Always thinking of you. Xo