Tag: distorted

Move on

One of the lesser discussed outcomes of toxic relationships is how narcissists are often successful at convincing your friends and family that YOU are the dysfunctional, toxic one. Sometimes, they can even turn them against you.

So then, not only do you have to cope with the painful smear campaign, but you are also faced with the fact that your friends and family who sided with the narcissist have betrayed you, as well.

These are not your people. Maybe they never were.

Anyone who knows you – authentically – should not side with the person who is trying to tear your life down.

Sure, narcissists are exceptionally skilled at pretending they’re just regular people trying to live their lives, but these people knew you long before the narcissist came along…yet, here they are, siding with them.

If someone doesn’t know you well enough to know the narcissist’s accusations are false, then did they ever really know you?

I find that life is too short to change people’s minds about things. If flying monkeys and enablers want to believe the narcissist’s stories, then they have their own path to travel. It’s not our job to make them see the light.

Along my own journey, I stopped wasting my precious time and energy trying to correct the narrative or defend myself against accusations and the people who wanted to believe them. Let them find out the truth like you did (IF they ever do).

Some people love to eat up drama like a tasty snack.

Some people want to think they found dirt on you.

Some people want to get into the narcissist’s good graces for their own reasons.

And some people are just too naïve and gullible.

None of these people belong in your circle OR your tribe.

These are lost people who need to find their own way or remain unwoke. It’s not your job, and it’s not your project.

Save your precious time and energy for other, more important things…like getting through the smear campaign with the people who are truly on your side.

And if you have no one, get a dog, a cat, or a goldfish. Our tribe can be anyone or any creature who will have our back.

🔥 Grab your free Beginner’s Healing Toolkit for backup:

https://bit.ly/BeginnersRoadmap

#selfhealers

Mad in America- Rights Get Stomped on – Mine Were

“Psychiatric practice is too often violating human rights, too often incapable of understanding the suffering of people.”

www.madinamerica.com/2023/01/oaks-interviews-benedetto-saraceno/

Mother in Law

The war never ended from her possession of her son . I gave up after years of trying ; once sitting with her and stating that it was ok if she didn’t care for me , that we could have some semblance of a relationship. She replied ” as a Christian, I’ve never met anyone that I didn’t like ” .

I understood her from that point on and witnessed her get hands on and loving towards our sons when someone was watching .

She was abusive to me openly and it was witnessed and he said nothing in my defense for it was very uncalled for .

I watched her smack at her 90 year old Mother’s hands for getting flour on the floor when making biscuits!

I believe her eldest children experienced a lot of trauma at her hands and he alluded to my having no idea .

I believe he found his Dad weak to her as she called him Mr _____ and he allowed her to rule . As he faded out , she lamented the place’s they would not be able to travel and her health challenges but how she couldn’t do her thing for taking care of him . His obit declared her a Daughter of the Eastern Star and he a 32nd degree Mason which I was unaware of ! Why the secret ?

She talked so sweetly to her daughters and never once had that tone with me .

Inviting her and sister in law to cook outs at our home stopped when the 4 huddled in one area as if too good to mingle with my parents.

My Mom’s Mom died close to Thanksgiving and we were eating at her house and as she said the prayer my Mom began to cry and had to leave the table , which was met with shame from her and I was so stunned I just sat there .

So as his partner and confidant I was used as leverage and as his ” crazy” drugged and vulnerable wife whom he just offered was sick or didn’t want to attend a family function , when he was ready to jump in with the new supply, she was totally supportive and our sons became possessions that could not betray her or their Dad by being in anyway supportive or compassionate toward me .

Mother in laws , aunts and wives have assumed the mother toll, discouraging any healing or connection with me as they admire her wealth and longevity. She is quite an artist and I’ve been told of her abuse towards our sons that was uncalled for .

I’m sure she feels she has a place in Heaven but to me she is demonic and hides under her know it all attitude and money/power .

I long ago allowed her to know I was not impressed and found the bond between she and her son unholy . He’s attached to her so deeply and it proved to destroy his relationship with his twin , another 20 years of leveraging a woman to get Mom’s favor and execute her finances !

God only knows what he’s pocketed , for anything he touches and wants belongs to him .

What a house of cards !!!

Mother In Law – Ted Talks

youtube.com/watch