One of the lesser discussed outcomes of toxic relationships is how narcissists are often successful at convincing your friends and family that YOU are the dysfunctional, toxic one. Sometimes, they can even turn them against you.
So then, not only do you have to cope with the painful smear campaign, but you are also faced with the fact that your friends and family who sided with the narcissist have betrayed you, as well.
These are not your people. Maybe they never were.
Anyone who knows you – authentically – should not side with the person who is trying to tear your life down.
Sure, narcissists are exceptionally skilled at pretending they’re just regular people trying to live their lives, but these people knew you long before the narcissist came along…yet, here they are, siding with them.
If someone doesn’t know you well enough to know the narcissist’s accusations are false, then did they ever really know you?
I find that life is too short to change people’s minds about things. If flying monkeys and enablers want to believe the narcissist’s stories, then they have their own path to travel. It’s not our job to make them see the light.
Along my own journey, I stopped wasting my precious time and energy trying to correct the narrative or defend myself against accusations and the people who wanted to believe them. Let them find out the truth like you did (IF they ever do).
Some people love to eat up drama like a tasty snack.
Some people want to think they found dirt on you.
Some people want to get into the narcissist’s good graces for their own reasons.
And some people are just too naïve and gullible.
None of these people belong in your circle OR your tribe.
These are lost people who need to find their own way or remain unwoke. It’s not your job, and it’s not your project.
Save your precious time and energy for other, more important things…like getting through the smear campaign with the people who are truly on your side.
And if you have no one, get a dog, a cat, or a goldfish. Our tribe can be anyone or any creature who will have our back.
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