Tag: abuse

Adult Children ; Survivors of Alienation by parent

As target parents we sometimes lose sight of how hard it is for our alienated kids to reunify with us, especially when our alienated kids are adults as it seems they should be able to easily resume treating us normally. It’s important to remember that it can take super-natural bravery for our kids to reunify with us as they face so many hard and scary scenarios to reunify with us. One of the hard and scary scenarios they must face is…What to tell people about how they’re letting you back into their life when people have been thoroughly convinced that you’re too “crazy, unsafe, unstable, etc etc etc” to have a relationship with? Maybe you’ve been alienated for years to the point that you were excluded from the child’s biggest life moments such as their wedding or the birth of a child so people really are fully immersed in the lies that you’re deserving of total rejection. After all, you MUST be a monster to have not even been included in your own child’s wedding or the birth of their child. After many years of an alienation so deep with convincing lies, it can be overwhelming for the alienated adult child to think about how to explain to people why they would let you back into their life. After all, an alienated child is not going to say “Well, to be honest, my parent was never actually a bad person or did anything wrong. I was put in the position to reject them by my other parent.”

So what can or should you say if you want to reunify with your target parent but don’t know how to explain it to people. The answer is simple. As in almost everything related to reunification, saying less is more. All the adult child needs to say to people is “We’re working things out.” That’s it. “We’re working things out.” Repeat as needed. If you’re an adult child who is reunifying with your target parent and are struggling with this specific challenge, keep a few things in mind. 1) It only takes 2 seconds to say “We’re working things out.” 2 seconds. 2) When you give such a direct and firm answer, people rarely ask more questions. It’s highly unlikely that they will ask you for specifics. If they do ask you, you can say “We can talk about it later” or you can say “”We just wanted to work things out.” You’re under no obligation to anyone to explain further unless it’s someone you want to explain it to further. 3) 99.9% of people will be HAPPY for you! Their response will mostly likely be “That’s great!” because the truth is most people know that we all naturally want good relationships with both of our parents.

While it’s “simple” to make the 2 second statement of “We’re working things out,” we need to recognize that it’s still hard to do. And this is just ONE OF the reasons it’s hard for alienated adult kids to reunify with their target parent. We need to recognize the incredible courage an alienated adult child must use to reunify with their target parent. This is a bigger brave than many people can ever imagine.

July 28th 2020 : Eviction Day

This was extremely traumatic

Landlords did not mind abusing and challenging any progress in my healing .

My desire for quiet , for my life that finally get on track and bear witness to progress finally buying a home .

These folks do mind being exposed for what happened factually . Calls are made to inquire why a person talked to me .

Thursday , one of em saw me in a store , came up to me and asked why I was destroying the family ?!

I asked that they move away from me and ignored this spiritual vampire .

Like I said they doing mind being evil but they do mind being found out .

My warning ignored : This is about character and I have worked very hard at rebuilding mine and there is no tolerance for anyone trying to destroy me .

* decades of being targeted prepared me for this type of energy .

I’m very Thankful to all that has allowed healing of Complex Post Traumatic Stress to the degree that I did not have have ” trigger” .

I did report it to the Sheriffs Department .

My awareness is such , that folks attacking , reveal their own experience .

I had discussed the consciousness that does not involve , agendas , financial extortion and less that healthy behaviors and environment that’s askin to the 60s New York “hood”.

Lots of crooks in this energy

Many are being exposed .

I’m just an experienced messenger !

After 12 years I’m going to find my safe place ,my home : no more lords nor ladies with agendas that have no respect for my life , the healing of my children etc

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

Murder of Old People

Just as COVID became a reality ,I arrived at an appointment with an healer of 9/10 years .

She sat across the room and spoke of just being contacted by our state on COVID which they were told was attributable to folks over 60 and how that was 90% of their patient load

I could not be seen or treated

I left and stopped by a local health food store where this person was in conversation with someone their age and they were less that 2 foot apart !

I have not returned to that healer and won’t for the discrimination of that day up front and very personal .

Of course I was evicted July 28

2020 and little has been “normal ” since

blog.nomorefakenews.com/2022/09/02/covid-19-is-the-murder-of-old-people-soylent-green/

Hair

My hair is still much better .

Leading up to 2020’s COVID

eviction, I was loosing an

increased hair loss . I found

out later that my hair broke

off and fell out ! The broken

off hair is about 8″ from my

scalp and can really be

irritating as it flies away;

Usually in my eyes and face

made worse by sweaty heat .

In 2021 Amanda Martin , a

Beloved , turned me on to

a generic shampoo and

conditioner for specific hair

type to combat hair loss .

I haven’t colored my hair

for over 5 years .

The result of my hair loss was

related to heavy metal

poisoning which also

occurred with prescribed

Topamax, Lithium .

I am ALLERGIC to metals .

Sharing this info with

rental property owner was

met with communication

stating I could stay until

Spring 2020. My lease had

not been offered for renewal

August 2019 and October

2019 brought the message

of ” we want you to be happy”

so know you have until Spring.

However I was far too depleted

from arsenic poisoning to

actuality do anything .

$650 rent is $1000 today

and no major remodel was

attempted .

Today receive notice and am

complimented often by women

and men on my hair .

A dear friend Jessica Kellogg

is now cutting my hair and

I acknowledge how Blessed I

am to have not lost all my hair.

I did loose dental fillings and

a 3 tooth Permeant crown/

partial and have abscesses

over both eye teeth .

Expensive treatment and

dental work lie ahead .

The owner/landlord group

won in court ; judgement

was not interested in hearing

me , my medical proof and

baggie of hair .

Time for change in landlord

tenant law and lawyers who

know these laws and

retaliatory landlord abuses

prosecuted.😈

Blessings & Peace 🙏🤘🏼

Dona Luna

Lawyer : Industry of Family Law Fail

I am a lawyer.  It didn’t help me any.  We need to create a network of lawyers in all 50 States who are experts in this.  I have attended Family Law bar meetings (not lately) but the INDUSTRY of family law from a lawyer’s perspective is “for profit” and “winning.”  Until we have a group of lawyers that actively believe that the for profit/winning mentality is superceded by saving a relationship (good luck) no one ever can win.

We need to start collating cases.  That means, having court observers, reading the dockets for your county, and finding ALL the targeted parents.  I am sure everyone knows the AMBER law, for a missing child, but there isn’t crap for the targeted parent.  Sadly as a pragmatist, and a survivor, venting is one thing, but changing things is another.  I want ANOTHER.  

This only works if this group wants to do the hard work.  I know that I LOST at every turn.  I was outsmarted and out maneuvered and I have exactly zero trust left.  None. I don’t trust anyone, anywhere.  Everything I did was used against me.  

Tonight on 60 minutes was a young man who started teaching the law to men in African prisons 13 years ago.  He is making change and was on Amanpour and 60 minutes.  Lawyers are smart.  They will find an answer to every answer.  So we have to be smarter.

I have lost both my children.  I have nothing better to do for the rest of my life.   Who wants to do this?  Not alone.  I can’t do it alone.  I waited to long. 

NOT ALONE.

No Future in sticking by Narcissist

One of the reasons it’s so hard to accept the narcissist for who they are is believing they think the same way we do.⁠

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They repeat the script and we believe them.⁠

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Their script keeps the fantasy alive in our minds that they care, that we’re deeply connected to them, and that we have a special bond with them that no one understands.⁠

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Only…this is nothing more than a storyline we keep alive in our imagination (with the narcissist’s help, of course).⁠

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The truth is too painful, so we deny the reality that keeps playing out before us, even in the face of unquestionable proof.⁠

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We project our empathy and compassion onto them, falling prey to the idea that they’re just a hurt soul who is trying to live and survive like anyone else.⁠

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And all while you’re giving them second chances and the benefit of the doubt, they’re planning on ways to destroy you…it’s only a matter of time.⁠

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I promise you that if you’re dealing with a narcissist, they may pretend to be a decent person here and there, but you will be hit with the shock of their deceit…and probably sooner than later.⁠

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Which will later lead to crippling feelings of anger and revenge. You will be so consumed with hatred for them, you won’t be able to see straight.⁠

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You’ll be so obsessed with feelings of revenge, you won’t be able to function in everyday life.⁠

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How can I say this so confidently? Because not only do I hear it from my students and clients (every day), I experienced these feelings myself.⁠

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If you’re struggling to detach from the narcissist, to resist their hoovering, or are feeling fed up with yourself for the number of times you’ve forgiven them, chances are it’s because you’ve bought into one or more of their schemes.

Childhood Lessons

“My parents beat me when I was a kid and I’m not traumatized,” says a male alcoholic whose partner reported him for physical abuse.

“As a child I was punished a lot and I’m fine,” says the man who complains every time he makes a mistake.

“When I disobeyed as a child, my father locked me in a room and for that I am grateful to him today,” says the woman who suffers panic attacks and fear of tight spaces.

“My parents forced me to attend an apprenticeship in this profession, where I make a lot of money, and for that I’m very grateful,” says the man who can’t wait for Friday because he hates his job.

“When I was little, my parents made me sit at the table until I ate everything,” says a woman who doesn’t understand why she struggles with eating disorders.

It’s time to break through the generational trauma and become aware of our past patterns. It is time to be compassionate to ourselves and our children.

A child learns to solve problems through conversation, if we solve conflicts in the family this way. If problems with threats and penalties are solved, one day it will act the same way.

A child learns compassion when we are compassionate towards them.

A child learns to listen to others when we listen to the child, when we are interested in how they feel and what their world looks like.

A child learns to believe in himself if we believe in him.

We don’t have to raise our children, we have to lovingly cultivate them. ❤