Parent : Forgive Yourself and Release your Adult Child whose unforgiving

This came in , just when I needed to hear this message the most …..

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Decline of independent children – Mad in America

Childhood anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts are on the rise as opportunities for children to be independent have dwindled, according to a new article in The Journal of Pediatrics. The research, led by psychologist Peter Gray from Boston College, used data on adolescent independence from multiple decades and countries to investigate the high incidence of mental health issues, like anxiety and depression, among today’s youth.

Gray and his co-authors observed that children in the 1970s or earlier had far more freedom to roam, play, and engage in activities without adult supervision than children today. They argue that the decline in opportunities for children to participate in independent activities has contributed to the rise in mental disorders. Independent activities can promote mental health by providing immediate satisfaction and building mental resilience to cope with life’s stresses.

“Those of us old enough to have been children in the 1970s or earlier know from experience that children then had far more freedom to roam, play, and engage in various activities independently of adults than do children today. Research has confirmed that our memories are not distorted,” the authors write.

“Our thesis is that a primary cause of the rise in mental disorders is a decline over decades in opportunities for children and teens to play, roam, and engage in other activities independent of direct oversight and control by adults. Such independent activities may promote mental well-being through both immediate effects, as a direct source of satisfaction, and long-term effects, by building mental characteristics that provide a foundation for dealing effectively with the stresses of life.”

The Decline of Independence and Its Toll on Kids’ Mental Health

www.madinamerica.com/2023/05/the-decline-of-independence-and-its-toll-on-kids-mental-health/

Abandonment Wounds

AT THE HEART OF ALL TRAUMA

At the heart of all trauma, a terrible sense of isolation, disconnection, loneliness.

Follow your trauma to its devastating core, friend, to its heart of darkness, and you will inevitably meet the abandonment wound, the pain of all pains.

Abandoned by mother, father. Forgotten and misunderstood by the world. Cast out of heaven and separated from the Godhead. Divided from life.

Of course, it’s an illusion. You were never separate from the mountains, the forests, the diamond drops of morning dew. You were never broken, never rotten at your core, never separate from the One. You were always loved. The terrible heart of darkness was always your own exquisitely beautiful heart of light, so fragile, so powerful, so loveable, so real.

Ultimately others cannot save us. Each of us are called to confront our aloneness, dive into the heart of our trauma, and find solace and sanctuary there. Others can hold our trembling hands but they cannot travel for us.

There is no external saviour, and the lie of love is that another human being – parent, partner, guru or god – can complete you.

No. Your completeness is in your brokenness. We cannot save each other but we can weep together, walk together, share our terror, our horror, our shame, our hope and our awe.

Walking in the forest at dawn, our eyes meet.

I recognise your longing as my own.

Love is a recognition.

Author: Jeff Foster

Artwork: Welder Wings