Category: Parential Alienation-Child Abuse

Leave the Dishes

“Leave the dishes.

Let the celery rot in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator

and an earthen scum harden on the kitchen floor.

Leave the black crumbs in the bottom of the toaster.

Throw the cracked bowl out and don’t patch the cup.

Don’t patch anything. Don’t mend. Buy safety pins.

Don’t even sew on a button.

Let the wind have its way, then the earth

that invades as dust and then the dead

foaming up in gray rolls underneath the couch.

Talk to them. Tell them they are welcome.

Don’t keep all the pieces of the puzzles

or the doll’s tiny shoes in pairs, don’t worry

who uses whose toothbrush or if anything

matches, at all.

Except one word to another. Or a thought.

Pursue the authentic-decide first

what is authentic,

then go after it with all your heart.

Your heart, that place

you don’t even think of cleaning out.

That closet stuffed with savage mementos.

Don’t sort the paper clips from screws from saved baby teeth

or worry if we’re all eating cereal for dinner

again. Don’t answer the telephone, ever,

or weep over anything at all that breaks.

Pink molds will grow within those sealed cartons

in the refrigerator. Accept new forms of life

and talk to the dead

who drift in though the screened windows, who collect

patiently on the tops of food jars and books.

Recycle the mail, don’t read it, don’t read anything

except what destroys

the insulation between yourself and your experience

or what pulls down or what strikes at or what shatters

this ruse you call necessity.”

Louise Erdrich – Advice to Myself.

Andrea Kowch

This point in my Life : Tracy Chapmen

I have long ago accepted , forgiven and loved myself through very malignant shadows , parenting myself .

For as long as I remember

Mom was lost in trauma , distortions, having had Twilight

Sleep we failed to bond but I didn’t sense a close bond with any of her 5 . The child had to always make demonstrations of love 1st

I own my stuff and don’t deserve to be targeted for life by someone not in my life . Shadow or light .

I played Tracy Chapman intensely in the spring of 2018 as I felt on the very of breakthroughs long sought .

However someone entered by life and then disappeared and I decided I could enjoy Tracy today in honor of letting go

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

youtube.com/watch

Narcissist Leaders & Women

Callous Narcissist leaders – Importing the crave for power and control from the church into the community: When the pathologically driven claim faith, veer out of their “church lane” and predatorize the public with crusade-style forced faith / mandated evidences of faith, everyone looses.

“Beware of those who claim to know the mind of God and who are prepared to use force to make others conform. Beware of those who cannot tell God’s will from their own. . . .” (Barbara Brown Taylor)

ARTICLE: “. . . .Misogyny: It’s Never About the Children”

View at Medium.com

The Myth of Chemical Imbalance

From my book “Antidepressed”. By means of the careful scripted pharmaceutical marketing campaigns of the 1990s and pushed by psychiatry, our doctors learned to quickly attribute mental illness to faulty brain biochemistry…defects of dopamine…shortages of serotonin….The covert DSM has been cleverly and unceremoniously drilled into our psyche and until very recently we have generally accepted it without question.”

Birth Truths

✨What if we told women the truth about birth✨

We’d have to tell them that contractions will probably be more than “surges” or “sensations.”

That they’ll probably rock your f✨cking world and leave you begging for salvation as you clutch the edge of the tub or the hospital linens

That your gentle breathing exercises and your Spotify soundtrack will be left in the dust as you sweat and pant and sway and swear your way through it

That you’ll trip harder than any mushroom you ever did in college and vomit with the same ferocity and travel to places deep within yourself that you didn’t know existed. That you’ll float above your body and simultaneously be trapped in it with an intensity you’ve never tasted

And in that intensity, in the sweating and the swearing and the swaying and the vomiting and the endless hours of contractions crashing down upon you

You’ll find your strength

You’ll find a resilience you’ve never known

You’ll find the power you need for the journey of motherhood ahead

In the messy humanity of it all

You’ll find that you are holy

A portal to the divine

Capable of indescribable miracles

A vessel of sacred life

What if we told women the truth about birth?

We’d have to tell them they are capable of anything

Worthy of being treated like goddesses

Made to walk through the flames

Surf the tidal waves

Dive into the underworld

And come out alive

Not unscathed

Not unchanged

But whole

And healed

And ready to take on the world

If we told women the truth about birth

We’d have to admit that we’ve lied about everything else

And that they are more powerful

More fierce

More capable

More beautiful

Than we’ve ever let on.

If we told the truth about birth?

We’d shatter the world.”

~ Words and Art by Catie Atkinson

Spirit Y Sol

http://www.linktr.ee/spiritysol

Professional Therapist: Kim Saeed

I admire those who enter the mental health profession to help others.

And I agree, there is far too much material being posted online about narcissism that’s either completely biased, sabotaging, or utterly false. One thing that really irks me is the overlapping labels folks create to describe a toxic person they’re dealing with (i.e., my covert, self-aware, vulnerable narcissist who has ADHD, is on the autism spectrum, and has schizophrenic tendencies).

I mean, sure, there’s such a thing as comorbidity, but many of these conditions cannot even coexist together.

But, the fact remains that many licensed therapists fail to recognize narcissistic/emotional abuse. Not to mention, the field of mental health is saturated with professionals who are themselves manipulative and cunning. You might be shocked, for example, to learn that your favorite YouTuber or FB coach is just as bad as the person you’re trying to heal from.

I’ve heard many times how someone went to couple’s therapy with the narcissist, only for the narcissist to start an affair with the psychologist.

I’ve heard hundreds upon hundreds of stories from targets of abuse whose lives were wasted or completely destroyed by the erroneous advice of therapists.

So, what’s a person to do?

If your therapist is using the “it takes two” approach, while failing to notice your symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome, you should probably find another therapist.

If your therapist is acting just a bit too enamored with the narcissist during couple’s therapy, find another therapist (for yourself, as couple’s therapy is pointless with narcissists).

If your therapist says things like, “There must be something about your personality that brings out their abusive nature”, find another therapist.

Just as with any profession, there are folks who are extremely good, and there are those who are not.

You are not obligated to continue therapy with someone who isn’t helping you.

Traditional therapy didn’t help me. I saw seven different therapists and the farthest any of them got was to tell me to set better boundaries.

But, there ARE good therapists out there who can help you recover from narcissistic abuse. Usually, they are the ones who experienced it themselves.

Do your research, ask questions, and if there isn’t a connection there or you feel invalidated, keep searching.

Kim 🕊️

Take Your Time ; Sherrie Campbell PhD

One of the easiest mistakes to make in our recovery from toxic family ties is to go on a search for love. Because we have never felt loved, we too often learn that we don’t know what we are looking for. Because we have no real foundation for what love is, we mistakenly take new people at their word.

Taking people at their word and believing what they say without the evidence of time to back up that their words and actions match, is dangerous. When finding love, we must use the wisdom of time and proof.

TAKE. YOUR. TIME.

The truth of people, the truth of love, is always shown through time not words.