I admire those who enter the mental health profession to help others.
And I agree, there is far too much material being posted online about narcissism that’s either completely biased, sabotaging, or utterly false. One thing that really irks me is the overlapping labels folks create to describe a toxic person they’re dealing with (i.e., my covert, self-aware, vulnerable narcissist who has ADHD, is on the autism spectrum, and has schizophrenic tendencies).
I mean, sure, there’s such a thing as comorbidity, but many of these conditions cannot even coexist together.
But, the fact remains that many licensed therapists fail to recognize narcissistic/emotional abuse. Not to mention, the field of mental health is saturated with professionals who are themselves manipulative and cunning. You might be shocked, for example, to learn that your favorite YouTuber or FB coach is just as bad as the person you’re trying to heal from.
I’ve heard many times how someone went to couple’s therapy with the narcissist, only for the narcissist to start an affair with the psychologist.
I’ve heard hundreds upon hundreds of stories from targets of abuse whose lives were wasted or completely destroyed by the erroneous advice of therapists.
So, what’s a person to do?
If your therapist is using the “it takes two” approach, while failing to notice your symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome, you should probably find another therapist.
If your therapist is acting just a bit too enamored with the narcissist during couple’s therapy, find another therapist (for yourself, as couple’s therapy is pointless with narcissists).
If your therapist says things like, “There must be something about your personality that brings out their abusive nature”, find another therapist.
Just as with any profession, there are folks who are extremely good, and there are those who are not.
You are not obligated to continue therapy with someone who isn’t helping you.
Traditional therapy didn’t help me. I saw seven different therapists and the farthest any of them got was to tell me to set better boundaries.
But, there ARE good therapists out there who can help you recover from narcissistic abuse. Usually, they are the ones who experienced it themselves.
Do your research, ask questions, and if there isn’t a connection there or you feel invalidated, keep searching.