Tag: toxic

Alienated Dad / Charlie McCready

Once I understood X was using our sons to get information and further impart abuse as I was insulted time after time it became a no brainer

Let em go

The quote on this post is from an alienated dad who got so tired of fighting, being sad and accustomed to not having his children in his life, that he has gotten to a point of acceptance, ‘surrendering’ to it. For a long time he couldn’t understand the alignment (trauma bonding) with a parent he knows his children find difficult. He worked on understanding the pathology behind alienating behaviours. Even so, there are still those days of feeling that loss, and his quote encapsulates the deep longing for the presence of his children in his life, even though their absence has become a painful reality he has grown accustomed to. Despite the emotional distance and the expanse of time, the yearning for his children lingers but he has also found a way to ‘detach’ too. In the detachment that comes with the acceptance, he has found some peace of mind. Importantly, he also decided not to stay stuck in grief and got on with his life. He remarried and is happy. That’s not to say he ‘gave up’ but he came to a point of just saying his children will come to them if they want to come to them … In this detachment, he discovered a newfound peace of mind. ⁠

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While we cannot control the actions of others, we have the power to shape our own destinies. Alienators won’t change and are typically incapable of love or happiness – not lasting, not real. Relationships really aren’t their thing. But we can move on, and love, and be happy. We owe it to ourselves. Our doors are always open to our children, but we’re getting on with our lives too. Crucially, this father’s story exemplifies resilience. He refused to be defined solely by the absence of his children. He made the courageous choice to move forward, embracing love, and finding happiness anew. In his remarriage and the life he has rebuilt, he demonstrates the remarkable capacity of the human spirit to heal and thrive, even in the face of unimaginable pain. We can choose to love again, to be happy, and to live fulfilling lives no matter what.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#fathersrights

#mothersrights

#childrensrights

Alienators will strip you of all you love / Charlie Mc Cready

Pets hold a unique place in our hearts; they offer unconditional love, companionship, and a sense of solace. I found out recently that my beloved dog in the picture here, Ziggy Stardust, died back in 2016. I knew he must have died. I also know he had a happy life, but he was pretty much lost to me as a consequence of divorce. I’m not ashamed to say I wept in memory and in love for him. I had literally buried those feelings of grief (in particular about Ziggy) for a while, the awful moments of saying goodbye to him back in 2009 and then never seeing him again. Ironically, I’ve just written a post about ‘men cry too’. Well, I am not ashamed to say, I had one of those moments. I LOVED that dog. ⁠Look how beautiful he was! And he loved me too.

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We focus, of course, on the children robbed from our lives through parental alienation, but remembering Ziggy, and finding out that he had (naturally) died, made me reflect on the greater losses, such as our pets, that we lose as a result of this terrible experience. We lose a whole lifestyle, a whole way of life. I often hear how pets are never seen again. One man talked of how he was never allowed to see his dog after separation/divorce/parental alienation but just got sent the vet bills, including the one which was the termination of his dog’s life and cremation. These people will use any means possible, including our pets, to hurt us and to systematically remove every source of love and companionship from us. It is insidious, malicious, and abusive. The level of cruelty highlights the lack of empathy and the depths a psychologically abusive person, such as an alienating parent, will go to inflict pain on others. Please share your experience if this resonates with you.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedparent

#overcomingadversity

#grief

#healing