I have been on my own for decades and know myself well enough that in relationship of important, I will respect the need for each to have freedom and space to be on our own . Very easily done with commitment and a foundation of truth.🥰

I have been on my own for decades and know myself well enough that in relationship of important, I will respect the need for each to have freedom and space to be on our own . Very easily done with commitment and a foundation of truth.🥰

It is true .
Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional
Mental Midget , emotionally immature
Years of knowing his cycles , his denial that change and healing were crucial .
His non response mode
Here is a truth you often don’t hear: traumatized women have the potential to become the most powerful people in this world.
The most ignorant members of society call this type of woman “damaged.” But she is the most powerful type of woman there is.
What they forget is that survivors have the most dangerous advantage of all: resilience.
When you try and you try but you can never bring a woman down, you’ll know there is no going back. Don’t fool yourself. You could never defeat her. You never will.
This is the woman who will always rise from the dead; Lady Lazarus, after going through hell and back.
This is the woman who has burned her feet in the flames time and time again and always lives to tell another tale – even if she has to crawl back to life.
She was never given love or approval on a silver platter, so in order to survive, she had to love herself in a way others could only dream of. She fought tooth and nail for her own self-acceptance.
No one cuddled her as a child or told her pretty things; she had to fend for herself each step of the way. She knows she can survive because she already has and will again.
When someone tells her, “You can’t do it,” she says, “Watch me.”
She is fiery light birthed out of wintery darkness. Brought into the underworld by Hades, Persephone brings forth spring and rebirth when she reemerges finally from the cold.
She owns her shadows and seamlessly weaves them into the fabric of her freedom, creativity, imagination and independence.
All of her life, she was given every evidence of human cruelty and the evil people were capable of. She understood early on that the monsters people dreamed of existed in human skin.
She lived all of her nightmares in high definition. She was given every reason to give up, handed every justification to never believe in herself or anyone.
But there is raw magic in the ways in which she cultivates a faith in herself, to manifest the dreams her soul was meant to bring forth.
Despite it all, she still conquers.
She still survives and thrives.
The “damaged” woman is capable of immense manifestation not just in spite of, but because of the traumas she has gone through.
There is no one more motivated than a woman who has constantly been told what she cannot do or who she cannot be throughout her lifetime.
There is no one more determined to succeed than someone who has nothing left to lose.
The “damaged” woman doesn’t sign up for the hardships of her journey – but she plays the hell out of the cards she’s been dealt.
The “damaged” woman is not damaged at all – she is wounded, and in channeling and healing her wounds, she becomes the source of incredible energy, the site of unbelievable potential for abundance and change.
She possesses the power to use her wounds for the greater good and her highest good.
She builds her own success and becomes her own rugged hero; tends to her own scraped knees.
She uses every stone thrown at her to build the foundation for her empire.
Brick by brick she builds – and despite every attempt to tear her walls down, she rescues herself again and again.
Despite it all, this type of survivor may still face hatred, envy, greed from those around her. They try to tell her she is too damaged to soar.
See, when the women society call too “damaged” perform better than those who never were, it tends to upset the status quo.
As a result, she becomes the survivor of countless witch hunts, the target of many persecutors. Yet when they try to burn her at the stake, she does what comes naturally: she resurrects herself.
After all, nobody suspects that it is the wounded woman who has more power inside of her than the bullies who appear to overpower her.
They laugh and ridicule the mute warrior, the one who seems to never fight back.
But here’s the thing about this type of woman: she observes.
She learns how to pick and fight her own battles. Her spirit may be broken, but it is relentless. She perseveres, bit by bit. She takes it all in.
Perhaps she stays voiceless for years. For her soul, it may seem like for centuries. This is an ancient wound, one that seems to follow her from generation to generation.
Yet at some point, it comes time for her soul to fight back in order to survive. It comes time for her to rise.
She stays silent for so long that when she finally speaks, the world erupts and cracks wide open.
Her pent-up magnificent energy, born and bred in the pressure cooker that she calls life – is that of lightning.
Where once hopelessness was her default, now abundance becomes her birthright.
Where once she was timid, she now unleashes thunder in every action and word that she wields like a sword – and with it, she always brings a storm.
Now when she creates, she creates new worlds and transforms and manifests on a level that cannot be recreated by someone who never had to struggle to survive.
When you hear the voice of a powerful survivor and the will of a warrior – there is nothing you can do but to stop and listen.
She is the voice of a million lifetimes lived.
She is the voice of the hopeless and the powerless when the fire is brought back to their eyes. She is the harbinger of the justice that the voiceless have longed to hear and feel and touch.
Regardless of how much you try and how it may seem, you can never truly bring a survivor like this to her knees; she already knows the value her scars bring.
She knows how to fill the cracks between her wounds with gold.
She knows how to transform each bitter word cast upon her into an iron-clad will that will set her and other caged birds free.
You can’t ever defeat a “damaged” woman, because she knows exactly how to save herself.
– Shahida Arabi

Yea. I got little respect or acknowledgment for being a stay at home Mom , who had a partner who was not interested ; far too busy to partner or parent
Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road.
If you’re not Following me on Bluesky, why not? It’s useful information.
If your attorney, your involved mental health professionals, your GALs and Parenting Coordinators, are not Following me on Bluesky, why not?
Sometimes I skeet about diagnosis. Sometimes I skeet about dark personalities. Sometimes I skeet about the court-involved assessment. Everything I skeet about is court-custody and treatment related.
Droplets of information each day, like a gentle rain of knowledge into the parched desert of the family courts.
I do what I do. You do what you do. We’re both working toward exactly the same goal – protecting the child from child abuse by a pathological parent.
I’m not your warrior – you’re the warrior fighting to protect your child. I’m a clinical psychologist with knowledge that’s useful to you. I’m your weapon.
I’m headed into the AFCC to contact the Hydra. You can’t do that. I can and I am because I do something different. I’m a clinical psychologist not a parent. We’re both working for exactly the same goal – protecting the child from child abuse – differently.
Because we’re in different roles.
Part of my role as a doctor is to educate the patient – you – about the pathology you have in your family… and with your child… so that you, as a parent, can get a proper assessment that will return an accurate diagnosis and effective treatment plan… to fix things.
Courts and the legal system land on the wrong end-point. Courts and the legal system land on the Court’s custody decision. That’s the wrong end-point of consideration.
The healthcare system lands on treatment. That’s where we need to end up – with a treatment plan that fixes things and gives the child a normal-range childhood.
For a treatment plan… you’ll need a diagnosis. For an effective treatment plan, you’ll need an accurate diagnosis.
If we treat cancer with insulin because we think it’s diabetes, the patient will die from the misdiagnosed cancer. Whenever possible child abuse is a considered diagnosis, our returned diagnosis needs to be accurate 100% of the time.
Misdiagnosing child abuse is too devastating to the child. We need to get it right – every time. We can do that when there’s the motivation to to that.
The appellate system in healthcare for a disputed diagnosis is a second opinion, or even a third opinion. Doctors in healthcare consult all the time – because we need our diagnosis accurate and early – we need to start treatment right away.
Any diagnosis returned into the legal system will be a disputed diagnosis – so – let’s get a second or even third opinion right at the start through telehealth.
Get one primary treatment provider who will both diagnose and then treat the pathology. Allow each litigant parent to appoint a second-opinion doctor of their choice to represent their interests and concerns. Then let the doctors do what doctors do.
You’ll get a report from the primary treating doctor (duty of care) and two consulting reports that agree, or perhaps disagree to a degree. Provide this information to the Court for its decision-making.
The Court can decide which doctors make sense – and the doctors should make sense. They should 1) describe the symptoms, 2) describe the diagnostic criteria and established knowledge applied, and 3) the diagnosis that is supported by the symptom pattern.
Doctors are not concerned with custody. That’s the Court’s decision based on all the evidence it considers. There is NO quasi-judicial role for doctors. Doctors diagnose and treat pathology.
In the absence of child abuse, parents have the right to parent according to their cultural values, their personal values, and their religious values.
In the absence of child abuse, each parent should have as much time and involvement with the child as possible.
In the absence of child abuse, to restrict either parent’s time and involvement with the child would damage the child’s attachment bond to that parent, thereby harming the child and harming that parent.
Is there child abuse? If a child is rejecting a parent, yes, there is child abuse by one parent or the other, we just don’t know which one yet.
It might be authentic child abuse by the targeted parent creating the child’s attachment pathology toward that parent – OR – it might be child psychological abuse by the allied parent who is creating a persecutory thought disorder and false (factitious) attachment pathology in the child for secondary gain to the parent.
Which parent is abusing the child? We need a proper risk assessment to the appropriate differential diagnoses for each parent to answer that question.
Then we protect the child. That’s what we do in ALL cases of child abuse. We always protect the child because ALL mental health professionals have a duty to protect in cases of three types of dangerous pathology – suicide – homicide – abuse (child, spousal, elder).
It’s not “complex” – it’s simple. What’s the diagnosis? Collect the symptom patterns, apply the diagnostic criteria patterns, and if there’s a pattern-match… that’s your diagnosis.
That’s not complex. That’s simple.
So is Following me on Bluesky. Sign up then Follow. Easy peasy for such valuable information to your professionals who surround you. Once they know… they can’t un-know what they know.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist
WA 61538481
OR 4392 – CA 18857





In the future, women may not be able to give birth without having a C-section.
Experts say that C-sections have increased the gap between the size of newborns and their mothers’ pelvises. More women are born with smaller pelvises, whereas babies’ head sizes are getting bigger.
In the past, larger babies and mothers with narrow pelvises sizes had small survival rates. As a result, genes for these traits were not passed down through the generations. C-sections are helping bigger babies and women with smaller pelvis to survive the labor.
As a result, genes for smaller birth canals in women are now becoming more common, which in turn is increasing the need for even more C-sections.
The problem? According to the World Health Organization, the rising rates of C-sections suggest an increasing number of medically unnecessary, potentially harmful procedures.
While birth is painful, a C-section is harmful to the woman and is not often the best solution when medical issues arise.
Managing childbirth pain involves a combination of physical, psychological, and medical strategies tailored to each woman’s needs and preferences. Physical techniques include practicing various breathing exercises and relaxation techniques that can help manage contractions. Deep, focused breathing promotes relaxation and can reduce the perception of pain. Positions and movements such as walking, rocking, squatting, or using a birthing ball can also alleviate discomfort by enhancing the progression of labor and reducing the pressure on the back. Warm showers or baths are known to soothe and provide significant relief during labor.
Psychological strategies play a crucial role in managing childbirth pain.
The presence of a supportive partner, doula, or a familiar person can offer emotional reassurance and practical assistance, making the labor experience more comfortable. Visualization and mindfulness can also distract from pain and reduce anxiety, focusing the mind on positive outcomes rather than discomfort. Medical interventions include various forms of pain relief ranging from non-invasive to invasive options. Certain medications can be used for mild pain relief, allowing the woman to remain mobile and alert.
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