Alienating parents may appear harmless, friendly, and charismatic to the outside world. They create a false sense of security and trust, making it difficult for people to see their true character. They create a web of lies and distortions to manipulate others’ perceptions, including family courts, professionals, and even their children. Some children also see the darker side; it keeps them entrapped, obedient, and fearful (as with Stockholm Syndrome). Although the children might not always realise what they’re seeing and experiencing, it goes into their subconscious – how they see their loved, loving ‘other’ parent being treated. The children can get caught, trauma bonded in a cycle of loyalty to the alienating parent, and fear the consequences if they dare to speak up or challenge the parent’s narrative.⁠
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In Robert Louis Stevenson’s novella “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” Dr Jekyll creates a potion that allows him to transform into Mr Hyde, giving vent to his darker impulses and desires. Initially, this transformation provides a sense of liberation for Jekyll, as he indulges in the pleasures of his wicked nature without fear of consequence (may family courts hear this!) However, the transformations become involuntary over time, and he starts to lose control of his ability to revert to his original self … (sounds familiar?)⁠
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We need those in positions of safeguarding and support who are not currently fulfilling their duties because of a lack of funding, training, and understanding of alienating behaviours to see through the mask, the false narratives, and lies and be able to detect the hidden reality of the psychological abuse. Shedding light on the dark personality (cluster b typically) involved in parental alienation can empower those affected to move towards healing and recovery.⁠
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p.s. At the story’s conclusion, Dr Jekyll realises that he can no longer control the transformations, and he becomes trapped as Mr Hyde permanently …. it doesn’t end well. ⁠

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