Cat Balu

I met this lady at our local grocery store and we talked just enough to know what had similar experiences .

She’s in dire need now and I wanted to post her story , her experiences that she may be supported in her struggle to survive against such odds as she’s encountered .

I donate cat food as I can and contacted a local group that helps with needed home repairs for folks who are challenged financially

Her story

She sits alone in the old farmhouse, cold and hungry. Her only companions are her cats, who are cold and hungry as well. 68 years old, she was deserted by her husband after 25 years of incredible, sociopathic abuse. He took everything from her – the car, computer, phones, stole her Stimulus payment, and left her stuck with the mortgage he placed on the farm, their home.

After making the mortgage payment to keep a roof over my head, I have no money for food, no cell phone, no communication with the outside world except my computer and a land line phone. Without the local food pantry, I and my cats would have already starved to death. There has been no heat in the house, no running water for nearly 3 years. The stove, the refrigerator, the washing machine, the lamps, the microwave, two surge protectors, the heat pump all shorted out because of the rain leaking into the house for the past 12 years, ruining the wiring. The house is a death trap for me and my beloved cats, but I have nowhere to go.

He was meticulous in his abuse – socially, he made me an outcast without my knowing it. No one in my community, even the church I had belonged to since 1973, will help me. You see, sociopaths know how to ‘isolate’ their victims without the person knowing about it until it is too late. He did not pay my hospital bills, thus shattering my ‘credit rating’; he told the people in our small, inbred community that ‘she was crazy’, ‘she was lazy’, ‘she was a bad wife’, while smiling to my face and telling me every day how much he loved me.

Three months before he left, he had secretly taken me off the credit card, making every effort to ensure I had no access to any money whatsoever. He tried to empty my personal checking account, but failed, because the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ had warned me to change my password, and I did. After he had left, I discovered that he had had a ‘secret banking account’ and had been hiding money and marital assets from me for 12 years. All this time, I had been told by him that there was ‘no money’ for my needed medical care and diagnostic needs.

I quite literally broke my back working at the local hospital in December of 1996; yet he told all his friends that I was ‘faking it’, and that there was nothing wrong with me – I just ‘wanted to sit on my @ss, pet my cats and watch ‘Law and Order’. The damage to my spine caused me to drag my left leg when I tried to walk; the pain was nearly unbearable and the shocks from the pressure on my sciatic nerve were like being hit with a cattle prod. It continues to this day.

Because of the broken back, called ‘Scoliosis’ my spine sharply curves to the left. There are four broken ligaments on the right side of my spine, and only the ligaments on the left side of the spine enable me the small amount of mobility I still possess. Because of the curvature, the vertebrae in my spine have put incredible pressure on the nerves leading out of my spine to my major organs. In 2011, I developed acute congestive heart failure and had my first heart attack. I then suffered a disabling attack of kidney stones, again in 2011, with infection and sepsis, and was diagnosed with third stage kidney failure. Now, the pressure on my spine has caused me to develop constant incontinence of the bowels and bladder, and I wears ‘Depends’ 24/7. All this time, he insisted that there was nothing ‘wrong with her’ and told everyone in the community of Meadows of Dan, Virginia, that she was just ‘sorry and lazy’.

Nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare or warn a ‘neurotypical’ or ‘normal’ person about the sociopathic personality disorder. These people have no conscience, no ‘human’ emotions of love, empathy, sympathy or caring. At the same time, they are ‘Acadamy Award Winning’ actors, who can ‘mimic’ normal human behavior and fool the vast majority of people into ‘being on their side’. I strongly recommend you read a book called “The Sociopath Next Door’ by Martha Stout, PhD to gain some insight on these incredibly dangerous people. I credit her book for helping me to make sense of my husband’s behavior and treatment of me. This book, and an incredibly compassionate support group I found on the website ‘Quora’ saved my sanity. Literally.

Why did I not go to the police? I did. The local sheriff’s department would not take my complaint, because my husband was a Deputy Sheriff with the Patrick County (Virginia) Sheriff’s Department. They would call him, and he would tell them that she ‘ran into a door’, or ‘hit herself in the face opening a cabinet’ or ‘we were playing around, wrestling, and I accidently hit her in the face with my elbow’.

What about the church? I went to the pastor of the church I had been a member of since 1973. As I began to tell my story, the pastor of the Meadows of Dan Missionary Baptist Church interrupted me and began to lecture me. The words that Shawn Carter, the pastor, said to me are forever burned into my mind. “How dare you come up here and try to make trouble for your husband just because you are mad at him and you two have had a fight?” Then he prayed a long prayer over me, that “God would show her the way to become a more obedient, submissive, Christian wife”. I went home crying. My husband, when he heard how I had been treated, shed tears, too. Tears of laughter. “I told you; no one will ever believe you! I got there first!” You see, he had been, for 40 years, a ‘gospel singer’ with a local group called the ‘Joyful Noise’. The members of this group have been his ‘flying monkeys’ for over 20 years, jeering at me, condemning me, treating me with total contempt because he has them totally brainwashed and under his control.

He had the perfect cover. This is why he got away with abusing me without let-up for 25 years. When I appeared in the local community with bruises on my face, the people of the community would ‘turn away’ and pretend not to see me, even turning and going the other way down the grocery isle.

When he left, he ran out on the mortgage he had taken out of the farm he had inherited from his grandparents. In all those years, he simply did not ‘lift a finger’ to maintain the house or the land. I have been making the mortgage payments for all this time. My only income is my Social Security check of $1,087 per month. The mortgage payment is $777.67 per month. After making the mortgage payment, paying my electric bill, phone bill, garbage pickup, car insurance, life and burial insurance payments, I have no money left to buy food for myself and my cats. If not for the ‘Angels’ on Facebook and the local food pantry (once a month) we would already have starved to death.

It is wintertime now. The house is dead with cold. I have only two space heaters I can use: one in the back bedroom and one in the bathroom. The other outlets in the house have been fried due to the leaking roof impacting the wiring.

I met God face to face in August of 1973, at the age of 19, after hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ for the first time in my life. I gave my life to God and received the Baptism and the Infilling of the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ. I have been and continue to be a Christian in the truest sense of the word, and I have done my best to be a loving, Christian wife to a criminally insane sociopath. I took Abigal as my example and have nearly memorized the Book of Job in my efforts to ‘let go and let God’.

Now, I am old, I am cold, I and my cats are slowly starving, freezing to death. I started a business in 2015, trying to eventually pay off the mortgage my husband took out on the farm, working with feral cats by using the incredible gift God had given me of taming wild animals, which I have had since I was a very small child. Incorporated in the Commonwealth of Virginia in 2020, the Feral Feline Recycling Project, Limited, takes care of 12 feral cat colonies with over 200 cats and kittens. I go out every day, regardless of the weather, to feed and interact with these wild animals, slowly winning their trust, then their love and affection. Eventually, the aim is to ‘recycle’ these cats as ‘barn cats’, ‘farm cats’, ‘shop cats’ and even ‘house cats’.

At first, for three years, my husband showed great enthusiasm for this work. I would take videos of the colonies and the cats therein, and he would ‘edit’ the videos and post them to my ‘Facebook’ account, which is still up and running under the ‘nom de plum’ of ‘Cat Balue’. He would even put captions and labels on these videos and make posts celebrating this ‘noble work’. What I did not realize was that at the same time, my husband was secretly sabotaging everything behind my back. He, through his ‘sociopathic powers’ was recruiting his ‘flying monkeys’ to cut me down and destroy my testimony to the world that God is real. How else can a mere mortal tame wild animals?

He incited Elizabeth Whitely, of ‘Hulks Helping Hands’, a nonprofit here in Meadows of Dan, Virginia, to launch a ‘Facebook Firestorm’ that nearly destroyed me and my work with feral cats. As a result, my work, my testimony to God and ‘FFRPL’ lost many, many believers and supporters. Now, all I am left with is with many cats and no way to feed them. I pray every day for deliverance to God, and I place all my trust in God and God alone.

I need help. I do not have any money left over, and I just had to represent myself in court to fight off a predatory ‘mortgage recovery company’ who claimed that I was in ‘arrears’ on the mortgage payments. I was smart enough to send my payments through paper checks, Certified Mail, and was able to get an Injunction to stop the illegal sale of my farm. I won the first battle, but the war against Evil is far from over, and I need help.

Please, do not let Satan win. I will testify to my dying breath that God is real, that Jesus Christ died for our sins, and that the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ is here with us right now. These are the Last Days.

I praise God and thank Him.


Youth more vulnerable to personally changes due to COVID

Duh ?

Trauma abounds and it’s not worthy of mention?

Trolling for new consumers as psychiatric jargon took hold in the mid 60’s amongst much change and uncertainty.

Our trauma as we witnessed the murder of our beloved president , Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy which have not healed due to conspiracy and denial .

I was on a shit load of RX for mood and emotions etc that dismissed the hell on earth of living with a masked , distorted , godless partner who would like to take revenge until his last breath , in order to discredit me !


Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

On the run🙈

This is the trunk of my 08 Kia

loaded with as much as

possible .

There have been several of

these chronic retaliatory land

lord abuse .

There will be no more 🐸👍

The Kia has seen better days

at this stage of evolution ☑️❤️‍🩹

I am ready to let her go , after

careful examination 🙌

That won’t be a problem , but

1st she’ll be examined through-


That’s how I rock !

Dad helped me buy her , and

signed over the title a year

before he exited !!!


This property was depicted as my safe place after 4 very months of bouncing around after my COVID eviction.

Having given away most of my furniture, there were things there I could use and things that I helped facilitate giving away for owners.

It was never cleaned and sadly I found the tenet before me was the only child and with her son ( grandson ) had been evicted as well before me !!! Of course stories abound but I find it interesting and example this house which did rent to a man and repairs are being made as noted in this shot . New deck and new paint .

An offer was made to sell at $50 over what was paid and my research showed a reduction in value 10k what was paid by current owners/landlords . I did not find my self desperate enough to buy it at such a high price with such obvious and varied repairs , far greater that was we saw today .

Notices to move (30 days )were the result of my friendship with the only child to whom I was told not to talk to.

Many stories were created and embellished to create the belief that we the renters were to blame and deserved to be ” thrown out ”

Many times I asked ” Am I safe here , and was always reassured that I was .

The male tenet HAS a lease !

The views are magnificent but there is a negative vibe attached to this ” gated community ” where I began to feel I was watched and certainly was true of a repair guy who worked for them , and would just show up , parked in the yard , in the storage shed which he had lots of stuff as well as the owners who allowed that I would have space to store my things , rather than pay storage else where. I was not comfortable with the situation nor the ability of repairs . A washer was replaced with yard sale type 2nds due to a spring having gone bad which was missed by their examination and discovered by my 23 year old repair man !

A very harsh winter , time with no electric power after being told it NEVER happened ! And I was not checked in on by these folks in any way , shape or form .

It was discovered after I left end of July 2021 that dementia and pre existing mental illness ( life long secret ) gripped 1 of the 2 and I had to feel that I had dodged a bullet .

All in all … wasted time

wasted faith

wasted money

And the betrayal of home and heart that sadly has met its mark with an only child and their son .

It did however result in the acceptance of truths and healing for the child/grandchild

Photo credit

Laura B

Xanax is a M Fer

I totally concur with this man’s conclusions on Xanax , which I was given off label for IBS . IBS and marital difficulties were Axis or code used in the DSM which has a code for everything so it can be billed with insurance .

Xanax was deadly ; I had no idea what it was , only that my IBS calmed now somewhat . I wasn’t able to sleep 😴 which had been intensified in marriage but was life long .

When I had the chemically induced nervous breakdown , by counting the RX ; I had taken 5 Xanax per day for about 12 days .

Our eldest son , 11 years old stayed home that day from school and subjected to my induced mental state and never discussed, healed or put this horrible experience to rest .

Prescribed Drugs , especially benzodiazepines are deadly in many ways especially families.

Relationships collapse as the busyness of our world encourages us to move on ….

This is too generational , ancestral and so much information exist that just as this video exposes the reality, the truth , so must the past injustices be healed and in accepting guidance from ancestors, assurance and support are not questioned .

I have great faith in concluding old business and surrendering to creation of New Earth and my home within it as my place in this world solidifies !

I am very Thankful to my teachers , each and every one and as I rest and reenergize , I quietly celebrate with knowledge that much lie ahead .

So I rest ; using only natural supplements and methods and accept I’m long out of the illusions of the matrix that is modern human generated medicine . I remember well my life’s journey in what I consider “toxic soup” and all that it cost me and our children as it fed the shadow of a partner who wished to exit the hero and keeper of all he had amassed , especially his sons , his money and his family reputation.

Xanax brought crushing reality as I did my 17 days in a psychiatric unit … our marriage was dying , I fought to be normal for our kids but I can assure you that nothing was normal after that which took me to the place of knowing the presence of evil and knowing the presence of angelic love …, shadow had a death grip on my life as I took the entire responsibility for a mental disorder and breakdown that was Xanax induced and of course having no one grasp the opportunity for healing change . Instead I cleaved towards what he wanted and regrettably our sons experienced many abused and forced responsibilities that were not fair . Of course projected that it was my choice and my responsibility.

I failed him , by not doing my job ….

And I could not in the end accept his distorted self war that has no end …

My last realtor was a major Xanax user and as he described her death ” yep she blew her brains out ” 3 years ago .

Sadly she ignored my warnings 🙏

I suggest that anyone who wishes to quit benzodiazepines that a long period of tapering off ( decreasing the dosage is best ) I personally tried 3 days cold Turkey and it was horrific . 05

Blessings & Peace 🙏☮️

Dona Luna 🎃

Oct 2021

Last October in the single wide .

The vehicle parked out front is the neighbors , 1 of 3 that had to pull in my drive way , if I were in the kitchen , living room area it was up close and shocking ( I never got used to it )

If I parked to thwart the parking of these 3 vehicles it was communicated and I had a very angry old man pound on my door complaining because my parking was interfering with the neighbors

I had no privacy in the front , and certainly not in the back where a dog was chained . His owner said he had been happily chained for 8 years . He could not fit in his dog house and used what originally was a chicken coop that belonged to the single wide.

Turned out the old man was the owner , the man who rented to me was renting and upon my discovery stated he planned to buy both properties in December 2021 . He promised to build me a deck so I could spend time outside privately on the far end of the single wide .

Before I left the owners of the property next door brought in donkeys , goats , horses etc which were real close .

The single wide was in sad shape , but I accepted that I could help my fake landlord reclaim it .

The stove was shot and replaced with what he called a ” smart stove ” and therein the burners would go from high to off without touching the dial ?!

I could not find any info on this at all !

An answer for everything but nothing based on truth or fact .

So glad to be out of that shadow play !

BottomFeeders are a reality ; even more so in todays lower energy !

Thank for the higher quality folks in my life and I’m not concerned with what karmic response awaits those who chose deception that adversely affects my quality of life .

Blessings & Peace 🎃

Dona Luna 🙏☮️