Tag: family
Charlie Mc Cready
An alienated parent experiences profound emotional turmoil, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place. They are often isolated from their child due to the alienating tactics of the other parent, which can lead to overwhelming loneliness and confusion. The deep sense of loss, akin to a ‘living bereavement’, encompasses not just the physical absence of their child but also the loss of the once-strong emotional bond. The alienated parent feels helpless, unable to protect their child from further harm, and may experience anguish and betrayal as their child parrots negative statements from the alienating parent.
To navigate this hugely difficult situation, alienated parents can seek support through counselling to express their emotions, develop coping strategies, and gain perspective. In the case of the coaching I do, we often work in small groups, which can be incredibly supportive and/or one-to-one work. Prioritising self-care, both physically and emotionally, is crucial. Learning about parental alienation, maintaining boundaries, and considering legal recourse when necessary can empower. Focusing on reconciliation rather than retaliation when interacting with alienated children is crucial. Recognising and addressing these complex emotions is the first step toward healing and potentially rebuilding the parent-child relationship.
These daily posts are here to spread awareness, inform and (where possible) uplift. But don’t hesitate to contact me directly if I can help you with coaching. There’s more information on my website.
#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienation #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedfather #rejectedmother #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticrelationship #narcissismawareness #narcissism
Don’t Ignore Negative Behaviors in Sons | Psychology Today
Parents should do the opposite when they hear: “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.”
— Read on www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/spotlight-on-special-education/202310/dont-ignore-negative-behaviors-in-sons
The parent-child bond is critical – even when prison walls separate them – New Hampshire Bulletin
Family Fun Day is a culminating event for the Family Connections Center program at the New Hampshire Department of Corrections, which works to foster relationships between children and their incarcerated parents.
— Read on newhampshirebulletin.com/2023/10/04/the-parent-child-bond-is-critical-even-when-prison-walls-separate-them/
Loss of expectations via toxic family dynamics
Sherrie Campbell Ph D
Highly dysfunctional family systems condition you never to ask for anything. Anything you ask for is treated as a burden to their effort, time, emotions and finances. Asking for anything turns into conflict. Your needs are treated as a sacrifice they don’t want to make
These types of family members douse you with shame and guilt for having needs. You are left feeling confused, abandoned, and immensely frustrated. It makes no sense for your family to refuse to meet your most basic needs, accusing and shaming you as claims “selfish” and “ungrateful.”
You learn to shrink your need-base to avoid this this type of shaming emotional abuse. You strive to do all you can to provide for yourself, to which, you will also be guilted, or even held back, from doing that.
Why? Because, ironically, these types of family members need you to need them. If they can keep you needy, you are less likely to get out from under their control. You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
If you can’t win either way, you may as well choose what’s best for your mental health.
Watch out for the Narcissist Mother In Law
A very covert narcissist, it was years before she was openly hostile and witnessing the exchange , he did absolutely nothing .
It was so acute, so vulgar that I walked away, preferring to take a walk on the beach.. he followed. I recall saying , that I’d give him a divorce so he could be with his Mother.
He said ” I’ll divorce her , before I divorce you”. He had a lifetime of trauma bonding and confidential conversations with her , and in the end he targeted me for all the feminine energies that had not been kind to him, as I reflected his distortions back to him, the opportunity to have me disposed of arose and he ran with it.
No care for our sons, nor me, it was always about him and that hasn’t changed, it has gotten much worse.
Boundaries – Sherrie Campbell, PhD
Tuesday Teachings
Boundaries are not mean, although they are often firm, clear, and direct. When you set a boundary on your family member’s flagrant, abusive, behavior, be prepared for them to level the playing field with an unwillingness to own their abuse and instead cast all blame your way.
If, or when, your family reacts with retaliation, and pose continual threats to your boundaries, this is clear statement that they have no respect for you. They will not take perspective on why you feel the need to set the boundary you are setting.
You tried. You set the boundary and gave them an opportunity to learn and to take a healthier course of action with you, and they refused. This is hurtful and frustrating, but at least their problematic character is clear. If someone in your family continually turns themselves into a person you have to heal from, you are allowed to no longer have them in your life.
7 Ways To Combat The Anger & Self-Neglect That Happens During A Family Crisis | Dr. Katherine Agranovich | YourTango
The stress of handling crises can accumulate to unhealthy levels very quickly, particularly for those who accept the role of family caregiver. However, a few easy stress hacks will make the crisis more manageable, like delegating tasks, having boundaries, practicing stress management, and staying in the moment.
— Read on www.yourtango.com/self/how-combat-anger-self-neglect-during-family-crisis
Time & Mothers
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who had been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my 3 children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
“What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
“I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.”
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an Angel’s. “I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,” she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.”
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation — nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.
“How was your dinner date?” Asked my wife when I got home.
“Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place where mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless I paid for two plates — one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me.”
“I love you, son.”
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I love you,” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”
Meryl Streep- Profound Life Changes & A quote
I just read that actor Meryl Streep and her long time husband agreeably, are living separate lives .
So I found a representative of her Facebook and this was posted.
She’s my hero, I love her dearly , and she’s so dang intelligent and intellectually, gifted.
A true woman for all seasons , I’d adore her playing me after my book is written and published and a movie results..
Huge fan
An interviewer
As I’ve been learning more about the horrors in the Middle East, this quote from the divine Meryl Streep (said years ago, mind you) captured something I’ve been trying to put words to:
Meryl Streep
“Women have learned the language of men, have lived in the house of men, all their lives. We can speak it. You know how when you learn a language, you learn French, you learn Spanish, it doesn’t really — it isn’t your language until you dream in it. And the only way to dream in it is to speak it. And women speak Men. But men don’t speak Women. They don’t dream in it.”
I totally agree and I believe w what keeps masculines “ stuck “: resistant to feminine is their own imbalance , of feminine / masculine .. Projecting that at partners etc as if women are responsible and man can leave it up to her, dodging their own self growth is a Yoke many women have determined as something they can live without .
Come on guys, open your hearts and surrender the monster that is in your closet and join in the evolution/ quantum leap into love and harmony and end the war that profits corporate America l.
A press release
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 