Tag: erasing families

The False Self From Childhood- Eric Jones

The False Self From Childhood

–Eric JonesListen to AudioTranslationsRSVP for Awakin Circle

I ran across a developmental psychology theory not long ago that I’ve had bouncing around in the back of my head ever since. It comes from the pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, who coined the term “good-enough mother” to describe the everyday kind of parent who does their best to meet their child’s needs and only fails at doing so in ordinary and understandable, even inevitable ways. His theory is about the origins and development of two distinct selves in each of us, a “true self” and a “false self.”

As babies and very young children, Winnicott says, each of us instinctively expresses our true selves: we cry when we’re hungry or tired or in distress; as toddlers, we act with creativity and spontaneity without much (if any) thought about what’s correct or proper, and we can have the most dramatic emotional outbursts when we don’t get what we want. We can’t help but express our true selves when we’re very young, because we can’t do otherwise; we need what we need and we want what we want, and we do our best to get it.

And here’s the crux of the whole thing: If our caregivers are attuned and capable, if they’re able to read our true expressions of need and want and (mostly) gratify them most of the time, it strengthens a belief in us that our most honest needs are okay, and that we ourselves are relatable and worthy. If we receive this “true self” recognition and reassurance as children, then we’re much more likely to move into adulthood connected to our true self, willing to live openly, alive and present to our most deeply felt longings.

But some of us don’t get that much-needed reassurance. As very young children we express our truest needs and our caregivers can’t respond adequately or consistently, due to things like depression or addiction, and we come to learn that our most basic needs aren’t acceptable or relatable. Winnicott says that in cases like this a child becomes “compliant,” meaning they don’t just stop expressing their truest needs to caregivers unable or unwilling to meet them, they lose touch with those deepest needs by convincing themselves they weren’t the very things they needed in the first place. This adaptive story is, according to Winnicott, the birth of the “false self,” which is also the compliant self.

More simply put, I think the theory is that when we’re very young, we need to have adults around us who are strong enough and capable enough and loving enough that we can express our wants and desires with as much anti-social self-centeredness as humanly possible, and they will consistently love us unconditionally, accept us, and give us what we need most of the time. By doing so, they teach us that we can truly be our most authentic selves and the world will still hold us, accept us, even love us. And when we don’t get that, we learn the opposite: that the world might not accept us and almost certainly won’t love us if we express our true needs or callings. And even more, we’ll do such a good job convincing ourselves we don’t want what we in fact need, that we’ll live lives divorced from our creativity and passions because we can’t find our way back to them after those first and formative lies. We’ll be lost in our false selves, accommodating others, not trusting the world to be strong or capable enough to hold us dearly.

Self Illumination Summer Solstice

It is a time of profound self-illumination and reconnection. A passage marked by the Solstice, together with the Sun moving in Cancer, and a Full Moon at 1 degree Capricorn that will opposite Venus and Mercury, both as well Cancer. Cancer represents our female essence, while Capricorn our masculine one. Both signs work in perfect unison to assist us in healing at a soul, emotional, and physical level. This is a powerful time for us to embody the Solstice transmissions to work on our mother-father aspects, healing past trauma and moving into a new future timeline.

Many of you may feel extremely emotional at this time. Cancer emphasizes what is hidden within the depths of our being, for us to acknowledge it and embrace it. This is a sign that you need to let go of emotions that are trapped within your emotional, mental, and physical bodies, keeping them from moving towards the light of who you are. When we hold onto something, we impede the flow of all the blessings that are Sourcing towards us, feeling the pain – resistance – and frustration of being in this fragmented-disconnected state of being.

Letting go creates flexibility, grounding, and healing, which is what Capricorn invites us to do at this time, to obtain self-illumination and the freedom that comes when we let go of our past self, its memories, and all we created, from a different level of consciousness. The more you liberate yourself from who you are not, the more you allow your true self to emerge.

The opposition between the Moon with Venus and Mercury is another confirmation of what we have been working with during all this year, the integration of both of our opposite essences our divine female and masculine aspects, our heart and mind, and everything that is opposite within us. Many of you are now passing through a period of synthesis in which you are balancing heart-mind, which is what these essences from these opposite forces are helping us with. An inner work that is arduous as we let go of egoic beliefs, fears, and programs and learn how to reside in our Higher Hearts.

As we balance the ego and continue unifying ourselves, we gain awareness and hence wisdom and personal power. Personal power comes with freedom, especially of mind, becoming free thinkers to detect all the non-benevolent tactics and manipulations that are constantly bombarding us to continue controlling our minds and souls.

This is a year of reconnection, which is why we are witnessing the desperate intents to control our consciousness. Our mission is to continue creating our personal timeline, for as conscious creators, we are the ones who can determine with what forces we align or not. Every choice creates a new timeline. We will manifest the timeline we infuse with more energy, intention, and will.

Capricorn invites us to bring all we are descending, discovering into the depths of our soul with Cancer, into our physical being and earth plane, for this is where we truly trigger change. This is precisely what Saturn – retrograde at the end of the month – and ruler of Capricorn asks us to do at this time, to focus on descension, as ascension is nothing but the descension of our Illumined Essence, into this physical self and plane. This is how we achieve enlightenment by remembering, awakening our human self, and embodying our lost soul fragments.

A time to unify by working on healing, retrieval, and above all regeneration, for it is vital to be able to continue our journey of personal evolution and assistance.

In this two-month window, it is crucial that we focus on our bodies, working on healing, and reprogramming our telomeres, as Capricorn invites us to do as well. Many of you suffer from stress and anxiety, pushing yourselves to continue when it is time to rest. This has a profound impact on our telomeres and has been scientifically demonstrated that it is the main cause of shortening our life.

This is also a time to balance our relationships. All that is fragmented within must be addressed if we desire to have equal partnerships. Otherwise, we will feel the same separation that arises from not being fully aligned and synthesized. Saturn, ruler of Capricorn invites us to set healthy boundaries, where we can be ourselves, sovereign beings, and let others be who they are too, co-creating within equality and divine love.

This harmonic space we find ourselves at this time, in which silence seems to reign, is nothing but the antechamber of what is yet to come, in the following months. We are preparing ourselves for August, which is the peak of the monadic integration phase that we have been immersed in since the beginning of this eighth universal year, and the eclipses in September and October. Events whose impact on our bodies will be if not the same, very close to that of the SOL-AR transmissions received a few months ago.

The 888 portal this year will be a totally different one, for it will signify the embodiment of higher levels of consciousness for many of you who have been incessantly working on soul reconnection. A passage that is just the continuation, the crest of our previous inner work. It will also involve the opening for many of you to galactic communication, for you are now dwelling in the soul-monadic dimensions, where authentic communication takes place with your illumined self, Guides, and other benevolent beings.

When we reside in the three-dimensional levels, the majority of the time the information received comes from the astral planes, this is why it is so important to heal and clear our astral body, and move into the fifth-dimensional dimension, to receive authentic information and maintain conscious exchanges with those who guide us and walk with us, and among us, for as you know, they are already walking among us.

Truth is what the present and coming events offer us. Truth is out there for all who wish to align with it. It is our choice to discern and align with the Truth or continue living in illusion.

We just have to have the courage, humility, and acceptance required for us to embrace it, as often Truth is not always what we expect it to be, and being open, merging opposites, and being in complete surrender is what will open the gates to all the revelations we are eager to receive, and we are prepared to integrate, at this time.

May you choose to embrace the Truth that lives in your precious Hearts, Beloveds.

Have a loving and harmonious passage!

Within Infinite Love,

Natalia Alba

nataliaalba.com