Tag: Child Abuse

Powerless Triggers – Charlie McCready

I’ve come to understand that this isn’t about me personally; it’s a deeply rooted attachment pathology, and complex family dynamic involving disordered parenting. It’s spiralled into a situation where my child’s thoughts, beliefs and behaviours have been significantly influenced – trauma-bonded, coercively controlled, emotionally manipulated. Learning about this has helped me see the bigger picture, though I am working on my sense of isolation, frustration, injustice, and of course the grief. There’s nothing like it. People say it’s like a ‘living bereavement’ and that’s so true. It seems people don’t truly understand this unless they’ve been through it, and alienated parents are united in feeling let down by the mental health and family court system.

Still, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned not to react to the hurtful behaviour anymore. Sometimes, I catch myself just shaking my head, thinking, ‘Oh, this again.’ It’s like recognising a pattern. I remind myself that ‘this too will pass.’ My focus now is on maintaining my love for my child, even if they can’t see it right now. Detaching with love has become my way of preserving our bond through this difficult time. Nobody can take the love I have for my child away from me. Nothing and no one.

Conscious parenting plays a significant role here. It’s about recognising the importance of my child’s emotional well-being even when they may not fully comprehend it themselves. So, I make an effort to create a safe and loving space for them whenever/should they ever walk through my door. My door, and my heart, are open. I don’t let their negative behaviour dictate my response. Instead, I model the behaviour I want them to see—unconditional love, patience, and understanding. It’s challenging, but it’s also empowering because I believe this will help me and it will help my child heal and come back into my life when they’re ready.

Meanwhile I’m getting on with my life and not feeling sad or guilty about it. I have my moments, but I’m focussing on the present not the past, the love not the loss. If I can do it, and I’ve been in the pits of despair believe me, I know you can too.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

Dear Child who watched their parents fall apart

Dear Child Who Watched Their Parents Fall Apart,

You remember the slammed doors.

The words that cut through walls.

The silence that said more than shouting ever could.

You remember trying to be small,

to not take up space, to be the reason they stayed

or at least the reason they didn’t fight that night.

And you tried—you tried so hard to keep the peace in a war that wasn’t yours.

You didn’t understand all of it,

but you felt it.

The shift.

The distance.

The way love started to sound different—like something sharp and cold.

You watched the people who were supposed to teach you how to love, forget how to love each other.

And that kind of heartbreak?

It stays with you in quiet ways.

In the way you flinch at conflict.

In the way you over-apologize.

In the way you question if love always ends in leaving.

But none of this was your fault.

Not the tension.

Not the breaking.

Not the way they stopped looking at each other like they used to.

You were just a child.

And children should never have to carry adult heartbreak.

You deserved to feel safe.

To feel shielded.

To feel like your home was a soft place to land—not a battlefield with no winner.

So if no one ever told you this before,

hear it now:

You were never the problem.

You were just the quiet witness to something they couldn’t hold together.

And you deserved so much more peace than they gave you.

You still do.

Council for targeted parents NO complaining

The typical therapist has 10 years before

‘burn out ‘ I tested for this , career wise !

I found it was far too much of an

investment … in far too many ways .

I don’t agree with parents being silenced

but I do think highly skilled therapist

who treat Child Psychology Abuse

and have the knowledge that it’s the

continuing High Conflict, intimate parter

violence , often malicious, malignant ,

abuses on Spiritual ,Physical, Psychological,

Mental and Financial, abuse that’s supported

for varied reasons in our current legal and

therapeutic modalities.

Change is here , resting still , more so as

March , predictably dips into chilly weather !

Take care of you😘🤩😴❤️💯

On counselors telling parents they cant complain, they must accept their child’s terms and fairness doesnt matter if you want a relationship and you must remain silent no matter how unfair parental alienation!
You all remind me of the pastor who told me if I was nicer to my husband he wouldn’t beat me! He told me I should be ashamed of myself for showing up at church with bruises on my body! And if I wanted a happy life I need to learn to walk softer on egg shells.
🤮 There comes a time you don’t even want a relationship with them anymore! I’m disgusted by them! Good riddance to cruel people!

Craig Childress, PsyD – Resume

I’ve got my new three licenses business card. Notice you’re third on the list of what I do.

Top of this list is early childhood ages zero-to-five. Then comes ADHD and grumpy angry kids. Then you in the family courts, then adults on personal growth issues.

Now that I have my WA license I’m going to go around the the local preschools to make them aware I’m here. I’m going to offer free consultation to preschools and parents of wee-ones on any domain of concern.

You’re paying for it. I’ll make my money off of you as a consultant in the family courts – that way I can offer free consults to preschools and parents of wee-ones.

Chalk it up to your karma – good job – you’ll be helping the little ones get a healthy start.

Then I’m going to open up an ADHD grumpy-kid practice online in three states, the Pacific coast of CA, OR, and WA. I use a parent-training consultation model with ADHD and ODD (there’s no such thing), which fits well with an Internet mediated service delivery in the states I’m licensed.

Then… I’ll post foundational seminars to YouTube on the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD and grumpy-angry kids – and – on parenting early childhood kids with challenging stuff (autism spectrum and emotional regulation problems).

I’ll bill for the ADHD clients ’cause that’s something entirely separate. Working with the wee-ones is for me, I like the little guys. Solving ADHD is for you guys.

The adult section of my practice is going to expand into death and dying. I’ve worked within that domain in the past with cancer kids at Children’s Hospitals – except they didn’t die because they have good doctors at Children’s Hospitals.

But death and dying is always within a zone of consideration whenever cancer is the diagnosis. When I entered private practice I joined a practice with another cancer psychologist in Pasadena. He worked with adult cancer patients, and I worked with kid cancer patients and their families.

I also have some background in geriatrics. When I entered private practice I checked out the two pathologies I’d never worked with – family court custody conflict and geriatrics. I’ve worked with everything else.

I got a job going to various “assisted care” facilities to assess and treat mental health issues there. THAT is depressing work. I don’t want to work geriatrics like that.

The old are our abandoned. No one sees, no one comes, they are alone. Whoa. Of the two, you needed me more. You have active child abuse (and spousal abuse) undiagnosed and untreated. Child abuse and attachment trauma is my pathology.

So I came to the family courts and fixed things here. There was a lot of fixing to do – you had (have) broken systems. Bad things were (are) happening… by the psychologists.

They are in the “betrayer” role in trauma – the one who should protect… and doesn’t. Oh my… patients should NEVER need to explain the pathology to the doctor. You need to explain the pathology to your doctors.

That’s so bad. So I did things. Now those things are evolving into solutions to fix the broken systems. Once the systems are fixed… you won’t need me anymore.

Hooray! A good clinical psychologist is always working themselves our of a job. For ADHD, for example, I want to fix your problem in six to twelve weeks – of consultation – six to twelve weeks is roughly how long I need to teach parents how to do the relationship based treatment… to fix things.

Less time for the grumpy-angry kids. Holy cow, “Oppositional Defiant Disorder” is such an easy fix – four to six weeks of consultation (then occasionally as-needed).

Do you know what’s easier to fix than ODD (grumpy-angry)? Attachment pathology. With a cooperative parent, I’d anticipate two to six weeks for substantial gain, and twelve weeks for full resolution.

The problem with attachment pathology out in the wild is that we don’t have a cooperative parent. We have a substance abusing parent or a narcissistic-dark parent. Then it becomes a child protection issue and we have to fix the attachment damage in other ways.

I’m a full scope clinical psychologist. I can seriously answer your questions on anything clinical psychology. Anything. Without looking it up, it’s all in my head.

That’s because I’m an old clinical psychologist – it’s the old part.

Now I’m an old-guy too, and I’m specialty trained in humanistic-existential therapy. I figure I can help other old folks along the Pacific coast where I’m licensed via the Internet.

Death and dying makes people uncomfortable, not me. I suspect I can help with transitions.

So individual adults are number four on my list of to-do.

You’re fixed. The moment you want to solve things – you solve things. As long as you don’t want to solve things – you won’t solve things.

It’s a motivational pathology. I’m working on that. We should be transitioning soon. Wheee…

Into complete destruction… then out into a full solution.

If you want to know what’s coming, look where Dr. Childress is positioning himself. I don’t live in today because today keeps vanishing. I live and work in tomorrow, because tomorrow keeps arriving, which makes my life now so much easier.

Oh look, the Petition to the APA just arrived – five years (minus two years for Covid), my estimates are pretty precise.

In five years I’ll be leaving not arriving. This next phase is building out my online presence in ADHD and Early Childhood, and I’ll finish my Diagnosis book and a second edition of Foundations.

Journal articles are in the works. It’s time now.

You know what happens when I have three licenses across the Pacific Coast, right? You have read the ancient prophesies about the Kraken that I’m just now making up, right?

Never mind, it’s too late for you to learn now. Just wait, it’ll all unfold in the calculational lines of the ruliad for observers like us.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist

WA 61538481

OR 3942 – CA 18857