Tag: trauma

Defining Parental Alienation

There is some debate surrounding the term “parental alienation” that reflects broader complexities within the realms of mental health, legal practice, and social dynamics. Let’s break it down:⁠

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Parental Alienation: This term is recognised chiefly by those who have experienced it for themselves, it is a way for us to find each other in what otherwise is an isolating, traumatic experience. The term itself refers to a situation where one parent deliberately manipulates their child’s perception of the other parent, often leading to the child’s unjustified rejection or hostility towards that parent where, before separation or divorce, there existed a good, loving bond.⁠

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Some renowned experts in the field prefer the term “attachment disorder” or “attachment-based parental alienation” to describe the dynamics seen in what others might label as “parental alienation.” The argument is that focusing on attachment disorders provides a more nuanced understanding of the underlying psychological mechanisms. Others criticise the term “parental alienation”, claiming it to be ‘debunked’ ‘pseudoscience’ which is misused in legal contexts. Certain women’s advocacy groups argue that the term “parental alienation” can be weaponized by abusive individuals, particularly men, to deflect accountability and continue exerting control over their former partners.⁠

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However, with all this debate, we are divided rather than united in combating the real problem, which is partner/spousal and child psychological abuse. The focus should not solely be on debating semantics or labels but rather on addressing the actual harm inflicted upon children and families when one parent uses them as pawns in their own conflicts. Whether termed “parental alienation” or viewed through the lens of attachment disorders, the fundamental issue is the manipulation and abuse of children for personal gain or vengeance. By prioritizing the well-being of children and holding accountable those who engage in such harmful behaviours, we can work towards fostering healthier familial relationships and protecting vulnerable individuals from further harm.⁠

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalieantionischildabuse #parentalalienation #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #familycourt #childabuse #narcissisticfather #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissism #narcissismawareness #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #

#alienated

The Alienator -Charlie McCready

Your child’s true nature is loving. So is yours. Believe it or not, it is the same for the alienating parent, the narcissistic abuser – love. They just lost their way. The alienating parent’s unloving, controlling, destructive, vengeful disordered pathological nature has come about through fear, through experiences in their past that remain unresolved and unhealed. And they are incredibly jealous of your love. They dread it because it’s powerful. What you need to do is remember your incredible loving nature and don’t let them dim your light with their dark, controlling ways and fear.

Fear has a way of distorting perceptions and causing people to react in ways that may not align with an innate loving nature. The experience of fear can lead to a desire to control others or situations to protect themselves. This control can manifest in various forms, such as manipulation, dominance, or jealousy.

Jealousy often arises when they perceive you still possess a capacity for love or experience fulfilling relationships. Despite their best endeavours to break you. They feel a sense of lack, a void, a disconnect from love. Instead of recognising and addressing their fears and insecurities, they project their envy onto you, onto anyone who seems to be confronting, challenging, or ego-wounding them.

Love and fear are opposing forces. Love encourages openness, empathy, and understanding, while fear often leads to closed-mindedness, defensiveness, and a need to control. Recognising and understanding the role of fear in unloving behaviours can be a starting point for personal growth and transformation. If the narcissistic abuser or alienating parent could address their fears and insecurities, and their pathological parenting, if they could take responsibility rather than blaming others, they too could reconnect with their ability to love. They would remember their child’s sovereignty and everyone’s sovereignty.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#highconflictcoparenting

#divorce

#FathersMatter

#mothersmatter

#custodybattle

#custody

#FamilyCourt

Mothering a man-child Narcissist

Truths

When you marry a narcissistic man, you never get the chance to be a wife; instead, you take on the role of a mother because these grown adults behave like man-children. They go to work Monday through Friday and then spend their weekends sitting in front of a laptop, downloading music, playing video games, or creating messes for you to clean. You find yourself both single and a parent simultaneously, shouldering the weight of responsibilities without the support of a partner.

Narcissists don’t marry for love or partnership; they marry because they want a maid, cook, secretary, banker, and a babysitter. They crave control, not connection. Their selfish desires consume them, leaving you to manage the household, raise the children, and cater to their every whim. Your dreams of a loving, equal relationship are shattered, replaced by the harsh reality of servitude.

As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks into years, you become a shadow of your former self. Your identity is erased, replaced by the exhausting duties of managing a narcissist’s life. You’re forced to sacrifice your own desires, interests, and friendships to accommodate their demands. The emotional labor is suffocating, leaving you drained, resentful, and wondering how you ended up in this nightmare.

You’re not alone in this struggle. Many women have fallen prey to the charming facade of a narcissist, only to find themselves trapped in a loveless, thankless role. Remember, you deserve better. You deserve a partner who loves, supports, and respects you. Don’t let the narcissist’s gaslighting convince you otherwise. Break free from this toxic cycle and reclaim your life. You are more than a mother to a man-child; you are a strong, capable, and worthy individual who deserves to be loved and cherished.

#story #SeeMore

Reconciliation- Charlie McCready

It is hard for an alienated child, especially in adolescence, to become independent of the alienating parent and reconcile with us. They have such a burden of guilt, and they also fear rejection and retaliation – they know, just as much as we do, just how badly, frighteningly, and abusively the alienator can behave when upset or triggered. But at some point, when more mature, given some distance from the alienator, and with an innate curiosity about their ‘other’ parent, things can change. Even before, they may find living with the alienator intolerable, and they seek emancipation. Sometimes the child discovers the alienating parent is incapable of the emotional support the child needs. Or they get rejected by the alienator. The alienated child can return more easily when the ‘target’ parent remains welcoming, stable, and happy to receive them, without drama or retribution. This child may or may not be willing to come to terms with their enmeshment in their alienating parent’s pathological behaviours. They may need support with this. And It will help if the ‘target’ parent has done what they could to understand alienation from all perspectives. The child may not want to discuss it, but our understanding helps. We’ve not given up and have done all we can to remain strong, happy, resilient, and absolutely there for our ‘lost’ child whenever they’re ready to return and reconcile. They know we don’t put any guilt or blame on them or expect them to explain themselves, and we don’t tell them the pain it put us through or insist they hear our side of the story. We may even have to let them unburden themselves of all the false narratives they’ve been fed but not react with anger, remembering this was a form of psychological abuse and coercion inflicted on them. They’ll need time to unload and reprogramme. If we’ve done the emotional work and built up our resilience and understanding, we’ll be better equipped to deal with this (it’s not easy, the temptation is strong to put things right and tell our truth). You will see their love for us wasn’t destroyed. It was tampered with and obstructed. And they will see we never stopped loving them either.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#FamilyCourt

#custodybattle

#custody

#FathersMatter

#mothersmatter

5th Dimension Relationships

To The Ascension LightWorker Collective

The real reasons the ascending may be experiencing being single in the higher dimensions is because in this much higher realm you are healed and vibrating at higher levels of knowledge frequencies which makes the self highly incompatible for codependent relationships , trauma bonds and unhealthy 3D connections .

Unfortunately trauma bonds is the template for the low conscious and broken 3D culture as anyone who chooses peace over trauma will have difficulty in lower conscious relationships as most people we meet in the programmed world are in 2-3D and are emotionally , mentally and spiritually damaged and dysfunctional in many different ways .

Healed individuals vibrating in higher frequencies will only seek lightminded and higher conscious connections , these higher vibrating connections create authenticity ,honesty , integrity, transparency , respect , equality , truth , alignment and shared values and beliefs .

Fifth-dimensional relationships enhances exisiting freedom and joy, serving as investments in the interconnectedness of people, places, and nature. They emerge from God’s unconditional love, offering an environment for safety, respect, love and understanding, expressing evolutionary expansion in shared development.

5th dimensional relationships are extremely different from third-dimensional ones, as they are built to maintain and sustain themselves rather than eventually breaking down . Both parties in higher consciousness fully support reconnection with their divine nature and higher self , they support the other in higher realms , throughout their incarnations, they have consciously evolved to provide a sense of true belonging and higher Ascended connection.

The truth is 95 percent of the 3D relationships and marriages in 3D dimensional perceptions and awareness are actually trauma bonded because they feel they need another half of themselves to make them feel whole , however they eventually become disappointed because they find they are in an unhealthy and codependency connection , this creates dysfunctional mentality , combined shadow aspects and are empty emotionally.

In the realm of 3D , relationships can be a confused and complex tapestry of Ego, dysfunction, health issues , obsessiveness secrecy, infidelity, illusions, lies, criticisms, power struggles, control , delusions, hierarchy, psychological confusion , lack of effective communication , abuse , stress, manipulation, and gaslighting intertwined.

All third dimensional relationships are built to break whether they choose to remain together or not . The third dimensional human beings on this planet were here to experience separation, struggle , loss, and fear. Humanity agreed to participate in this divine experiment of amnesia that required our civilisation to find its way back to its Divine Source of its own free will.

Humans are experts in suffering as they took this indoctrinated task seriously and over time became extremely skilled in hurting themselves and others , this is the truth and reason why transformation in self if essential , to escape the programmed and perceived struggling , Realms of all nature here on Earth supports this experience . Allowing humanity the free will of birth right creation .Lower consciousness learned to destroy connections rather than nurture and honour them , to the point that they were in great danger of destroying our civilisations and the planet as a whole in which we live on .

Fifth dimensional relationships are built to Maintain and sustain themselves . In this moment, those single on this journey may not be focused on loving someone else, but rather on authentically loving the self . It is a time in self’s ascension level where some may feel challenged to be their own source of Love strength and security. Allowing the right connection to unfold organically , once the self feels loved and safe within , they naturally attract their aligned counterpart , when all expectations cease to exist and the self is healed , whole and feeling complete .

As we ascend we become the point of attraction. This is why there is no forcing or controlling. There is recieving and allowing in the fifth dimensional existence. Feeling at peace and trusting in the divine process taking shape .

Love and compassion are necessities in humanity and not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. Soul intimacy arises from a profound sense of purpose and interconnectedness, based in the understanding of our inherent Oneness. fifth-dimensional relationships are purposeful, never casual, and do not waste energy on trivial and meaningless concerns. They compliment and enhance the values in each other , they are in a consistent synchronistic flow , and are conscious of their highest good . Both parties encourage the authentic and true expression in the other .

They consciously create collaboration, equality, and a profound appreciation for the roles, service, and love shared. Participants deeply respect and commit to fulfilling the work they have come together to accomplish, resulting in a profound sense of satisfaction , feeling valued and expanding in shared joy.

Ascending Souls , Those that were needed to be left behind , those you left , or who left you and hurt you only brought you back to your original and true self, in this place you are doing Exceptionally well. We are ascending , rebuilding, re identifying and readjusting, being kinder and more understanding with the self ,the soul / higher self is in tremendous gratitude for this higher opportunity, it’s now about giving Self the same love that was always given out to many others throughout many life times , including this one .

Self love is the true path in raising the vibrational frequency within , this is true for all human being God is found only from within and not outside of self , this is why Self love is the highest form of unconditional Love one can ever truly Experience and Embody .

Ascending Starseeds are no longer rushing their heart or relying on others to heal, rescue and fix them . Instead, they are thriving on their own feeling connected with higher self and light team . They are striving and healing , merging and melding in the higher self aspects , naturally sharing love wherever they go , the meld with source love Creator is the ultimate goal of ascension. Seeking God’s love ensures we are filled with peace , love, expanding our light in every moment . The feeling of Source Divine Love in higher dimensions is what heals and cures all things within .

Love transcends the mere act of loving another person in this world. It is the essence that radiates from the heart, encompassing love for many others, our ascending planet, the universe, the higher creator realms.

True love is an omnipotent force that resides in all cosmic spaces, places, people, animals, nature, and the vastness of our oceans. Unconditional Love is the highest dimension that heals a multitude of sin. It is found in the realms of Divine connection and Creation .

With Love and Devoted Ascension Service 💜

By Ascension Lightworkers . ©️

The Mirror – Craig Childress PsyD

The Mirror.

To reveal that which is hidden. It’s an Archetype – a deep-pattern in our collective minds.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, show us who we are.

It’s active. It’s grabbed our our mind’s unfolding. We’ve been collectively “captured” by an Archetype.

You think you’re “choosing” – no, you’re not. Your “choices” are arising from places inside you that you don’t comprehend. You are so much more than your consciousness is aware of, and it’s the more that controls what you think and do, not you.

The Mirror is here because it’s time for us to transform into something… more. Our minds formed in times before that are no longer relevant.

We’ve reached the world of abundance we were promised when we set out upon our journey away from chipping stone tools onto a path we call “civilization” – a path of immense trauma and suffering.

The price in human suffering was extraordinarily high to get to this world of magic and plenty. We’ve arrived, the children’s children of those who set out on this new path of evolution so many years ago.

On our journey to here, our unconscious balanced our conscious orientation, unfolding the path beneath our steps as we walked blindly into a future unseen. Now our collective unconscious is preparing our minds for the next step – a doozie.

We’re transforming in our minds to something different. We – inside – will be different.

The Archetype of the Mirror guides us – once you see it, you’ll see it everywhere because it is… everywhere. In us, through us, we are the Mirror that reflects us to us.

The next Archetype in the sequence if the patterns hold true will be the Cauldron of Rebirth – ugh – that’s not pleasant either. But… the rebirth is magnificent – the Phoenix rising is wonderful.

But for the Phoenix to rise from the ashes… there must be ashes.

Believe me, don’t believe me. I don’t really care. I have five more years plus-or-minus two here in this place, then it’s entirely your concern and entirely none of mine.

It’s the way of things.

The problem is NOT that we don’t know what the problem is. The problem is NOT that we don’t know how to fix the problem. The problem is that you don’t listen.

The reason you don’t listen is because you’re working some things out – you have a parasite of trauma in your minds. It’s not us, but it controls us, it makes us do things – terrible things.

It makes you not listen to anything that would expel the mind-virus within us. It wants to live… in us.

We are the host-organism for an alien creature-thing that lives in our minds, in our attachment networks, in our love-and-bonding system.

It’s a specific set of damaged neural networks in the love-and-bonding system of our brains – damaged by trauma – and it’s passed from one generation’s mind to the next through the damaged parenting that the damaged love creates.

The trauma damages our mind – our damaged mind damages our parenting – our damaged parenting inflicts the trauma on the child, damaging their love-and-bonding system… and so it moves from generation to generation, mediated by the damaged parenting that the unresolved trauma creates.

The Mirror will show us – us – so we can extract the mind-parasite that’s formed through thousands of years of immense suffering received through our Ages of Violence – our Ages of Empires – our Ages of Trauma.

It’s my pathology. I’m a trauma psychologist out of foster care, the trans-generational transmission of trauma is spot-on my pathology of expertise. I see it.

I’ve read its source code. I know what the pathogen is going to do before it does.

Which means… I know what you’re going to do before you do.

There are things you must see. Our collective unconscious is opening our self-reflective insight capacity in our frontal lobe executive function systems – The Mirror.

Our self-reflective insight will allow us to see the mind-parasite of trauma that’s within us… so we can extract it and be free of its brutal and savage control.

I’ve read the pathogen’s source code… and it has a Death line – Thanatos. Don’t assume we’ll survive – in truth, none of us are getting out of here alive.

It’s the way of things. The Mirror – to reveal that which is hidden. The sooner you see, the sooner the next phase comes.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857