Traumatized Women

“Here is a truth you often don’t hear: traumatized women have the potential to become the most powerful people in this world.

The most ignorant members of society call this type of woman “damaged.” But she is the most powerful type of woman there is. What they forget is that survivors have the most dangerous advantage of all: RESILIENCE

When you try and you try but you can never bring a woman down, you’ll know there is no going back. Don’t fool yourself. You could never defeat her. You never will.

This is the woman who will always rise from the dead; Lady Lazarus, after going through hell and back. This is the woman who has burned her feet in the flames time and time again and always lives to tell another tale – even if she has to crawl back to life.

She was never given love or approval on a silver platter, so in order to survive, she had to love herself in a way others could only dream of. She fought tooth and nail for her own self-acceptance.

No one cuddled her as a child or told her pretty things; she had to fend for herself each step of the way. She knows she can survive because she already has and will again.

When someone tells her, “You can’t do it,” she says, “Watch me.”

She is fiery light birthed out of wintery darkness. Brought into the underworld by Hades, Persephone brings forth spring and rebirth when she reemerges finally from the cold.

She owns her shadows and seamlessly weaves them into the fabric of her freedom, creativity, imagination and independence.

All of her life, she was given every evidence of human cruelty and the evil people were capable of. She understood early on that the monsters people dreamed of existed in human skin.

She lived all of her nightmares in high definition. She was given every reason to give up, handed every justification to never believe in herself or anyone.

But there is raw magic in the ways in which she cultivates a faith in herself, to manifest the dreams her soul was meant to bring forth.

Despite it all, she still conquers.

She still survives and thrives. ⚡️

The “damaged” woman is capable of immense manifestation not just in spite of, but because of the traumas she has gone through.

There is no one more motivated than a woman who has constantly been told what she cannot do or who she cannot be throughout her lifetime.

There is no one more determined to succeed than someone who has nothing left to lose.

The “damaged” woman doesn’t sign up for the hardships of her journey – but she plays the hell out of the cards she’s been dealt.

The “damaged” woman is not damaged at all – she is wounded, and in channeling and healing her wounds, she becomes the source of incredible energy, the site of unbelievable potential for abundance and change.

She possesses the power to use her wounds for the greater good and her highest good.

She builds her own success and becomes her own rugged hero; tends to her own scraped knees.

She uses every stone thrown at her to build the foundation for her empire. Brick by brick she builds – and despite every attempt to tear her walls down, she rescues herself again and again.

Despite it all, this type of survivor may still face hatred, envy, greed from those around her. They try to tell her she is too damaged to soar. See, when the women society call too “damaged” perform better than those who never were, it tends to upset the status quo.

As a result, she becomes the survivor of countless witch hunts, the target of many persecutors. Yet when they try to burn her at the stake, she does what comes naturally: she resurrects herself. After all, nobody suspects that it is the wounded woman who has more power inside of her than the bullies who appear to overpower her.

They laugh and ridicule the mute warrior, the one who seems to never fight back.

But here’s the thing about this type of woman: she observes. She learns how to pick and fight her own battles. Her spirit may be broken, but it is relentless. She perseveres, bit by bit. She takes it all in.

Perhaps she stays voiceless for years. For her soul, it may seem like for centuries. This is an ancient wound, one that seems to follow her from generation to generation. Yet at some point, it comes time for her soul to fight back in order to survive. It comes time for her to rise.

She stays silent for so long that when she finally speaks, the world erupts and cracks wide open.

Her pent-up magnificent energy, born and bred in the pressure cooker that she calls life – is that of lightning.

Where once hopelessness was her default, now abundance becomes her birthright.

Where once she was timid, she now unleashes thunder in every action and word that she wields like a sword – and with it, she always brings a storm.

Now when she creates, she creates new worlds and transforms and manifests on a level that cannot be recreated by someone who never had to struggle to survive.

When you hear the voice of a powerful survivor and the will of a warrior – there is nothing you can do but to stop and listen. She is the voice of a million lifetimes lived.

She is the voice of the hopeless and the powerless when the fire is brought back to their eyes. She is the harbinger of the justice that the voiceless have longed to hear and feel and touch.

Regardless of how much you try and how it may seem, you can never truly bring a survivor like this to her knees; she already knows the value her scars bring.

She knows how to fill the cracks between her wounds with gold.

She knows how to transform each bitter word cast upon her into an iron-clad will that will set her and other caged birds free.

You can’t ever defeat a “damaged” woman, because she knows exactly how to save herself.”

Written by Shahida Arabi

Art Credit Björn Karlsson

Trauma Bonds – Charlie McCready

How can the child still suffer from trauma bonds and loyalties towards the abusive alienating parent even when the truth about their behaviour comes to light? How can the child come over to see me but not take off their coat as if they won’t settle in or stay long? How can we have plans for them to spend the first Christmas with me in a decade, but then, at the last minute, they cancel because they say nobody should be alone at Christmas and they need to be with their other parent forgetting or ignoring the fact I’ve spent many Christmases without them? Why don’t they tell me about important events in their life? Is it a habit to keep me at a ‘safe’ distance after all these years? Why do they mostly call when they want a favour? Why do they still believe I abandoned them? These have been some of my questions.

Reconciliation between an alienated child and a rejected parent can be a complex and challenging process, and it is not uncommon for the effects of parental alienation to persist even after the truth comes to light. The alienating parent employed various emotional manipulation tactics to create trauma bonds with the child and instil fear, guilt, or loyalty. Breaking these bonds can be difficult, as the child may have internalised these messages and developed a distorted perception of the rejected parent. The child may have experienced emotional abuse, coercion, or threats from the alienating parent, leading to deep-seated fear and trust issues. Rebuilding trust and feeling safe with the rejected parent can take time and require ongoing support. The child may struggle with conflicting emotions and beliefs. They may have been taught to see the rejected parent as the enemy or as someone unworthy of love, and reconciling this narrative with the new information can be psychologically challenging. The child may feel strongly loyal to the alienating parent, even if they were abusive or manipulative. This loyalty can stem from a fear of abandonment, a desire for approval, or a need to protect the alienating parent’s feelings.

Healing takes time. The child – or young adult – needs to process their emotions, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and rebuild their relationship with the rejected parent. What’s vital is that you do your healing first so you can welcome them with open arms, having let go of your anger and grief, and just give them love.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedparent

#ParentalAlienationSyndrome

#parentalalienation

#custodybattle

#childcustody

#mothersmatter

#FathersMatter

#FamilyCourt

Why your body hurts

WHY DOES YOUR BODY HURT?

It’s not The Salt.

It’s not the Flours.

It’s not the Soda.

It’s not the Sugar.

It’s not the Food.

It’s not the gluten.

It’s not the Sweet Bread

It’s your EMOTIONS

It’s your DECISIONS

WHY DOES YOUR BODY HURT?.

It hurts because you haven’t yet learned to enjoy, because you accumulate old hatred and anger.

It hurts because you refuse to develop your bodily vitality and elasticity, because you punish it with addictions and emotional immaturity.

Your body hurts because you reject the present and allow the memories to define you.

It hurts because you don’t close stages and dress yourself as a victim in the drama you created.

It hurts because you love the wound you don’t want to heal.

Your body hurts because you’ve succumbed to apathy and let yourself win.

It hurts because you doubt you deserve a life without trauma and wings to fly.

It hurts because you’ve lent your voice to the family clan.

Your body hurts because you don’t live in peace.

Your body hurts because you don’t dare to value yourself more.

It hurts because you’re silent when you’re supposed to scream.

Because you blame love on your obsession for dominating.

Because you demand a respect you dare not generate.

Your body hurts because you confuse a relationship with a ring where you can vent.

It hurts because you dare not connect with your divinity. Because you’re afraid of freedom.

Your body hurts because you don’t allow yourself to remember that you were born to grow and transcend from the love you already are.

Your body hurts because you don’t invest in silence or make peace with your solitude and your darkness.

You are an ever-expanding being of love. Stop being too demanding, crippling, braking, and staggering.

WAKE UP YOUR MAGIC AND YOUR POWER.

Make the Love that you already are worth. Namaste 🙏

Víctor Alberto Domínguez

Targeted Parents / Charlie Mc Cready

As an alienated parent, you might be up against manipulative tactics that encourage your child to engage in behaviours you find unacceptable, especially when it involves badmouthing and rejecting you. The alienating parent often uses these tactics to curry favor, painting themselves as the ‘good’ parent in contrast to your ‘strict’, ‘old-fashioned’ or ‘uncool’ demeanor. This manipulation is not in the child’s best interest. In a healthy co-parenting arrangement, both parents work together to teach their children the right way to treat others and navigate life. Unfortunately, in cases of parental alienation, this collaboration is absent.

Parenting an alienated child requires a counterintuitive approach. It’s natural to want to defend yourself against constant criticism, but your actions speak louder than words. If ever, and whenever you have time with your child, focus on making them feel loved, supported, and safe. Let them feel heard. If they cross boundaries, gently but firmly remind them: “That isn’t a nice thing to say,” “That isn’t true,” or “Remember the rules in my house, please.” Maintain these boundaries with a light touch, drawing a line in the sand while staying strong and loving.

Showing up with love, kindness, and a positive attitude is crucial. Make your time with your child joyful and free of negativity and confrontation. When they leave their time with you feeling loved and happy, they will be more likely to want to spend time with you again. This positive experience can help them question the alienating parent’s narrative and see through the manipulation.

Traditional parenting styles often do not work with alienated children because the natural attachment bonds with your child are under attack. You are effectively parenting with your hands tied. By adapting your approach, arming yourself with conscious parenting, and being a role model of mental health and happiness, you give your child the best chance to resist the negative influence of the alienating parent and develop into their best selves.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#consciousparenting

#narcissisticparent

#FathersMatter

#mothersmatter

#childcustody