Tag: survivors

The Way it is – Eviction Job Loss Homelessness

Something to think about….

What if you were a single parent with a child . You work full time for $14.00 hr. You bring home roughly $800 .00 per paycheck (bi-weekly).

Your bills:

$1, 000 . 00 / rent

$150 .00 / electrical

$250 .00 / car payment

$150 .00 / car insurance

So let’s do the math :

You bring home about

$1,600 .00 a month & your bills average about $1,550.00 (give or take).

You’re making it, but barely.

This doesn’t even include groceries, internet, cable, cell phone, etc .

(nor does it include child tax credit, or child support)

Now, it’s a really cold December and you get a power bill for $600 .00

How do you pay that?

To put it simply , you don’t.

Because you can’t.

So your power gets shut off.

But you know what your lease says?

It says you get evicted if your utilities are terminated.

So now you’re in court crying to a judge who doesn’t care, & you have 10 days to get out.

Well you’re in luck, because you found somewhere with 3 days to spare & it’s only $650.00 a month!

But to get in, you must pass a background & credit check. Which you can’t because you just got evicted.

You’ve never been a criminal, but even if you could pass it, you’re looking at $1300 to move in, after paying the deposit & first month’s rent.

Time’s up ….

Landlord shows up at 7am with the police & changed your locks.

So, now you’re living in your car with your 7 year old son & everything you need to get by.

You tried to get a storage unit, but you don’t have a billing address so they won’t sell one to you. So you could only take what would fit in your backseat.

You pay to shower at local truck stops & eat whatever can be cooked in a gas station microwave.Someone sees you & your son living like this & calls C.P.S; guess what happens next ? ? ?

They remove your child from your care.

As if this isn’t devastating enough, you lose your job too. (Because “an employee losing their child reflects poorly on this company .”)

So now, you apply for an apartment with the region where the waiting list is 3-7 years.

Then you go into Wal-Mart to put in an application.

When you get back to your car you see that your back window has been smashed & someone helped themselves to your belongings. Remember that it is December & really cold. Now you have damage to your only shelter.

You call your car insurance, who says your deductible is $1,000.00

~ AND ~ they’re going to increase your monthly rate since you’re now

“ high risk .”

You call the homeless shelter as a last resort & all their beds are full.

I’ll stop here …..

Because I think you get the point .

The people we work with everyday are these people .

WE ARE THESE PEOPLE .

We are all so close to homelessness & don’t even realize it .

All it takes is :

* one unexpected bill📃~

* one fender bender🚙💥🚗~

* one lay-off 📊~

* one house fire 🏠🔥 , etc.

Instead of talking trash about people who are poor , homeless , or need assistance , why don’t you try being grateful that you’re not in their shoes …… YET !

This is about staying humble & being kind .

BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE ❤

We Are All Struggling In Different Ways.. 😭😩

Defying Societal Norms: Choosing a Child-Free Life for Happiness

Aware that my 40/50 year old single women are not needy, those who have children , are focused on those children , health, finances etc .

The younger generations are choosing to be single and choosing not to have children.

Having children with X was a huge commitment to a life dream , but being

sacrificed by a man whose control is ongoing , and his monitoring,

fraudulent characteristics including financial as well as the effort

to unalive me , which he has enlisted our children , friends , and family .

I have no idea what he has said , due to his limitless attacks

and it’s understood on high ..it’s being remedied..Thy Will Is Done .

The recalibration , and balance is upon us 💯❤️🎊✌️

Discover how defying societal norms by choosing a child-free life leads to women’s happiness and fulfillment. Explore expert insights.
— Read on www.healthy-holistic-living.com/women-choosing-happiness/

Men of the New Dawn – A message of love ❤️🫶🏼😘

A Higher Message of Love for Men

Accelerated Transformation of Male LightWorkers – Breaking Out of the Cocoon

We are now in such an anchored, relentless space of spiritual evolution that we are seeing legions of light-bearers waking up to their true purpose on an unprecedented scale.

Many of these beloved Light-Carriers and Workers are men, and it is necessary to acknowledge the very rapid and intense levels of inner transformation that many men on the path to full consciousness are now experiencing.

It cannot be underestimated how courageous these Men of the Light have to be. What these Ancient Warrior Souls are realising is that their Higher Selves have called in an intense Death-Rebirth process that will take them into total dissolution of the lower-male ego. This is so that huge inner processes can take place that strip the male psyche of it’s fear-based foundation.

The most helpful symbol to hold in mind for grasping this process is that of the Phoenix rising from the ashes, or the Death/Tower/Judgement cards placed together from the Tarot deck.

This is indeed a profound death of the old masculine energy paradigm. It is a walking away from all that is no longer vibrating with the male ascension journey. It really is a total rebirth; and in order to be reborn, a part of the identity must be allowed to die.

This is like the masculine sacred initiations of the Shaman in indigenous cultures such as Native American; spending the ‘night of fear’ almost completely buried in Mother Earth with only a tiny hold to breathe from. Being subject to all emotional ‘button pressing’ and even taunting from the Elders, in order to provoke the activation of a Higher Masculine Consciousness that burns away all lower forces of the ego.

Men of the New Age, you are being taken deep into your ‘night of fear’ now. Whatever it is that you have called into your 3D world to reflect back to you your own process of transformation, it is exactly what you need.

You are calling in your own Sacred Masculine Initiations. Your emotional buttons may be pressed into full alert. You may be taken into territories that terrify and deeply challenge you. You may have to cut ties and bonds with people and places that used to hold you in a comfort place.

You are being ejected, like a cosmic rocket of Light, into the Universe. This represents an extraordinary level of transformation: you could find that in a matter of months your whole life has changed from the inside out. You will be brought up against your deepest, most limiting and controlling fears. Your judgements of the world, what is and what is not possible, what you are guarding yourself against and how you are holding yourself back from full expression, majesty and glory – all of these tricks of the ego will be brought up into view.

You will have to face your inner demons, whatever they may be. Wheresoever you have been hiding your authentic masculine power, you will be exposed. But in fact, you will be revealing your own Light to the world, because you are creating all of these changes in order to grow and evolve.

It is time now for the Masculine Butterfly to go through intense periods of shape-shifting, death and rebirth in order to break out of the stifling cocoon and find His magnificent Wings.

Men of the New Dawn, you may find that you bring yourself to your knees during this time of finding the Light. But you are Warriors, you are the Great Protectors of Mother Earth, you are the Burning Flames of Courage and Victory.

Your new spiritual territories and heart-awakenings are coming to you.

You are in the process of finding everything that you need to awaken to, grow through, and live out your Holy Missions.

Never fear the symbolic Death and Rebirth process. You were made of invincible spiritual metal, with a molten, golden Heart Centre.

This is where you will find yourself:

deep in the Earth, during the Night of Fear, dying the Shaman’s Death.

Then in the Light of the New Dawn,

all is New.

This is Who you were always meant to Be.

A Shaman of the New Era.

A Warrior of Peace.

An Upholder of the Goddess-Centred Earth.

A Devotee of the Light.

We bow to you.

~ Sophie Bashford ❤️

The Things We Carry: How Our Ancestors’ Traumas May Influence Who We Are – Dale M. KushnerDale M. Kushner

What behavioral epigenetics reveals about how trauma can transcend generations
— Read on dalemkushner.com/blog/things-we-carry-how-our-ancestors-traumas-may-influence-who-we-are/

The Specter of Trump’s Family-Separation Policy – The Atlantic

Donald Trump and his allies have promised to restore their draconian zero-tolerance immigration policy.
— Read on www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2024/01/trump-2024-reelection-immigration-stephen-miller/676122/=The+Atlantic+-++Politics+-+Family+Separation&utm_term=The+Atlantic+-+Faraway+Readers+-+Trump+2.0+-+Politics&referral=FB_PAID&fbclid=IwAR1TY0TYx-ek6Zq6vywPjku6RLN8oWwegfxkexHcnEJRUGWZNoYxgk29z70_aem_Ac91X-CuQk1BGeCtHzre0jaLYLRv-UwSfkzIo3x8OR9eTmJN_Y1nbeIxidbDfsBW1C3d0uVWfrCZTPBjDLjb3O7_&utm_id=6492462535277

How to Stop Allowing an Adult Child to Walk All Over You | Psychology Today

Take off the “Kick Me” sign and forgive yourself.
— Read on www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/202310/stop-letting-your-adult-child-walk-all-over-you

Shared Persecutory Delusions & Lies – Charlie Mc Cready

For most of us, truth is the basis of our relationships and interactions, but there are prolific, even pathological, liars among us. When we don’t make a habit of lying, and we value truth and integrity, we can find it difficult to conceive of a life where deceit is the norm. It’s hard for us to conceive that someone we love/have loved would exploit our honesty, take advantage of us, and not operate with good intentions. ⁠

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Liars often engage in gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where they deliberately make someone doubt their own reality or perception of events. Gaslighting can create cognitive dissonance in the victim. An internal conflict can lead to confusion, and self-doubt, making it easier for the liar to maintain control and deception. Skilled manipulators are often charming, charismatic and confident, which can further mask their dishonesty. ⁠

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People who are high in Machiavellianism (unemotional, indifferent to morality, manipulative, often using deceit to achieve their goals) tend to tell significantly more lies than a typical person. Studies reveal that those with highly concealed, low self-esteem lie more. Those who view lying as acceptable, a means to an end, also tend to be the more prolific liars. Those who feel entitled, and those in high-status occupations have been found to be more likely to lie more. ⁠

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Why do liars lie? Lies can be a coping mechanism, a defence against perceived threats, or a means to achieve personal gain. Those who lie often develop diversions, and intricate stories and justifications, making it difficult for others to discern the truth. Shared persecutory delusions refer to situations where alienating parents, often with narcissistic tendencies or those suffering from certain mental health disorders, create false beliefs and convince their children of the same. Alienating parents manipulate mental health and family court professionals through gaslighting and deceit, saying they only act in the best interest of the child. By presenting a distorted version of events and casting the targeted parent in a negative light, they create confusion and doubt, leading the ‘experts’ to align with the manipulative narrative. The professionals’ lack of awareness of alienating behaviours allows the abusive parent to have their lies believed, and when they ‘win’ (get away with it), they remain convinced of their own righteousness.

They don’t always get away with it. More of them have broken relationships. Having said that, narcissists and Machiavellian types will stay with people who don’t challenge or confront them and who will tolerate, ignore or even support their deceit and lies, particularly if they benefit too. This applies to business and romantic relationships.

#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienation #parentalalieantionischildabuse #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedmother #rejectedfather #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #FamilyLaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticfather #narcissist #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmother #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticabuseawareness

#narcissismawareness #narcissism

Asylum Process Produces High Levels of Distress, Impacts Mental Health

These folks, immigrants, experience Child Psychological Abuse

As do children in Family Services.

And Family Court

In the UK and EU, seeking asylum negatively impacts mental health and exacerbates distress.
— Read on www.madinamerica.com/2024/01/asylum-process-produces-high-levels-of-distress-impacts-mental-health/

Persecutory Delusion – Craig Childress PsyD

Persecutory Delusion

Diagnosis is a pattern-match of symptoms to diagnostic criteria. The pathology of concern in the family courts surrounding child custody conflict is a possible shared (induced) persecutory thought disorder created in the child from the pathogenic parenting of an allied narcissistic-borderline-dark personality parent. The definition of a persecutory delusion is provided by the American Psychiatric Association:

From the APA: “Persecutory Type: delusions that the person (or someone to whom the person is close) is being malevolently treated in some way.” (American Psychiatric Association, 2000)

Google malevolent: having or showing a wish to do evil.

Writing in the journal, Family Court Review, Walters and Friedlander (2016) describe the shared persecutory delusion that is often present in the family courts surrounding child custody conflict and attachment pathology displayed by the child:

From Walters & Friedlander: “In some RRD families [resist-refuse dynamic], a parent’s underlying encapsulated delusion about the other parent is at the root of the intractability (cf. Johnston & Campbell, 1988, p. 53ff; Childress, 2013). An encapsulated delusion is a fixed, circumscribed belief that persists over time and is not altered by evidence of the inaccuracy of the belief.” (Walters & Friedlander, 2016, p. 426)

From Walters & Friedlander: “When alienation is the predominant factor in the RRD [resist-refuse dynamic}, the theme of the favored parent’s fixed delusion often is that the rejected parent is sexually, physically, and/or emotionally abusing the child. The child may come to share the parent’s encapsulated delusion and to regard the beliefs as his/her own (cf. Childress, 2013).” (Walters & Friedlander, 2016, p. 426).

Based on the nature and severity of the attachment pathology in the family courts, I recommend that a proper assessment for a possible shared (induced) persecutory delusion be conducted with families in high-conflict custody litigation that will return an accurate diagnosis regarding the nature of the pathology in the family, to then guide the development of an effective treatment plan to fix the pathology in the family.

The concern is that the allied parent is psychologically controlling and manipulating the child into creating a false pathology,

From Barber & Harmon: “Psychological control refers to parental behaviors that are intrusive and manipulative of children’s thoughts, feelings, and attachment to parents. These behaviors appear to be associated with disturbances in the psychoemotional boundaries between the child and parent, and hence with the development of an independent sense of self and identity.” (Barber & Harmon, 2002, p. 15)

From Soenens and Vansteenkiste: “Psychological control can be expressed through a variety of parental tactics, including (a) guilt-induction, which refers to the use of guilt inducing strategies to pressure children to comply with a parental request; (b) contingent love or love withdrawal, where parents make their attention, interest, care, and love contingent upon the children’s attainment of parental standards; (c) instilling anxiety, which refers to the induction of anxiety to make children comply with parental requests; and (d) invalidation of the child’s perspective, which pertains to parental constraining of the child’s spontaneous expression of thoughts and feelings.” (Soenens & Vansteenkiste, 2010, p. 75)

Participation in Child Abuse

One of the prominent professional dangers of misdiagnosing a shared persecutory delusion is that if the mental health professional and/or the Court misdiagnoses the pathology of a shared persecutory delusion and believes the shared delusion as if it was true, then the mental health professional and/or the Court become part of the shared delusion, they become part of the pathology. When that pathology is the psychological abuse of the child by an allied pathological parent, then the mental health professional and/or the Court become participants in the parent’s psychological abuse of the child by validating to the child that the child’s false (delusional) beliefs are true when they are, in fact, symptoms of an induced persecutory delusion.

The Court’s decision-making will be much enhanced by an accurate diagnosis of the problem returned by mental health services BEFORE making custody decisions influenced by the child’s pathology.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857