Tag: distorted

Projection -Sherrie Campbell PhD

To rid themselves from having to own their own abusive, negative qualities, your toxic family members play the projection game. They see all the bad that is in them and attribute it to you.

They actively accuse you of being the abusive, mean, or evil person in the relationship. The blame you to make you defensive. When you naturally get defensive, it puts them back in control.

Projection is designed to confuse you, to make you question if you are in fact the bad, abusive person. Creating this kind of self-doubt is exactly what your abusers want.

If you find yourself in this crazy-making position, hold tight to who you know you are. Do not argue with a person like this. Do not try and defend against their projection. It doesn’t matter what they think about you. What matters is what you know about yourself.

You know who the real abuser is. It isn’t you. Case closed.

Trashing Your Name

It’s utterly stupefying when you discover someone you trusted and had a relationship with has waged a smear campaign against you.

While you’re talking about this person caringly or even just civilly behind their back, they’re doing what they can in an attempt to discredit you and make you out to be untrustworthy.

I had this happen to me even recently, with someone I thought was a friend…who I’d opened my home to and introduced to my family. I even took her on vacation with me and my sons one year.

Then, inexplicably, she withdrew from me and stopped returning my calls and messages.

I later discovered she’d told people things about me so that they wouldn’t trust me.

The old me would have obsessed about this and possibly begged this person to tell me what happened.

But the new me understands that these things can happen, even with people you believe you can trust.

Why she did this, I’ll probably never know.

And the people she turned against me or, at the very least, planted a seed of distrust about me…I had always felt fond of them, but we weren’t close friends. I cut ties with them, as well.

I’d seen her take the scorched earth approach with other people, but I honestly never thought she’d do it to me.

Until she did.

Moral of the story: Sometimes you don’t see these things coming…but once you discover that someone is smearing your character behind your back, then there’s only one thing to do and that’s to move forward without them. This is one of those situations that you will no longer be able to feel safe about, even if you attempt to resurrect the relationship. Because, if they did it once, they will likely do it again.

No chasing. No begging. No multiple paragraphs or email tsunamis trying to make them understand. These things don’t work with people who are determined to MISUNDERSTAND you, even if what they’ve told people about you is entirely untrue.

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Experimenting with lives is risky

An Illness, or Risky Experimentation?

By Ron Unger, LCSW

When deciding how to organize treatment for “psychosis” we face a crucial question. Should we defer to mainstream views and assume that “psychotic” experiences must be part of an illness? Or should we stay open to the possibility that the confusion and distress we witness may be resulting, not from something wrong with the brain, but from people experimenting with sometimes extreme strategies to cope with difficulties in their lives? And that possibly the confusion and distress we see is created when people experiment with strategies that may backfire in ways they do not understand at the time?

www.madinamerica.com/2022/09/illness-risky-experimentation/

Crying

The advice from Dr Spock was to let baby cry up to 15 minutes . I tried this not knowing these horrific results .

There have been many advisors promoting detached parenting which is NOT what babies or children need not deserve .

Single Married Mama who had to be in the glow with a partner who had no idea or interest in parenting . Comfortable with brotherhood or uncle status that did not teach our sons well .

I regret not stopping everything to hold my baby , co sleep and had better intuitive skills that would have not allowed our sons to be alone with certain energies who masked many secrets

Crying it out: the foundation for NPD and BPD

(Borderline Personality Disorder

and Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

“One of the ways children have to adjust to a new order is called ‘letting them cry themselves out’.

The Mother puts the child into the crib at night to sleep. It is bedtime. But the sense of aloneness and the loss of contact with the mothers body terrifies the child, who begins to scream and cry.

No animal mother would fail to respond to a baby’s cry. Some human mothers believe, however that to respond would be wrong.

To give in to a child’s crying will spoil the child.

Besides, they have been told, crying is good for a child…

The first time this happens the child might cry for hours before falling asleep.

The mother might think the child has learned a lesson, but, the child doesn’t have the energy for a repeat performance…

After several experiences of this kind, the child learns to give up the struggle for contact with the mother. In effect, the child has cut off the longing for his contact and so no longer feels the pain of frustration.

A new reality in which the desire for intimacy and closeness is not expressed, has been accepted.

The foundations for narcissism and the borderline personality have been laid.”

Alexander Lowen,

Narcissism, Denial of True Self