It’s utterly stupefying when you discover someone you trusted and had a relationship with has waged a smear campaign against you.
While you’re talking about this person caringly or even just civilly behind their back, they’re doing what they can in an attempt to discredit you and make you out to be untrustworthy.
I had this happen to me even recently, with someone I thought was a friend…who I’d opened my home to and introduced to my family. I even took her on vacation with me and my sons one year.
Then, inexplicably, she withdrew from me and stopped returning my calls and messages.
I later discovered she’d told people things about me so that they wouldn’t trust me.
The old me would have obsessed about this and possibly begged this person to tell me what happened.
But the new me understands that these things can happen, even with people you believe you can trust.
Why she did this, I’ll probably never know.
And the people she turned against me or, at the very least, planted a seed of distrust about me…I had always felt fond of them, but we weren’t close friends. I cut ties with them, as well.
I’d seen her take the scorched earth approach with other people, but I honestly never thought she’d do it to me.
Until she did.
Moral of the story: Sometimes you don’t see these things coming…but once you discover that someone is smearing your character behind your back, then there’s only one thing to do and that’s to move forward without them. This is one of those situations that you will no longer be able to feel safe about, even if you attempt to resurrect the relationship. Because, if they did it once, they will likely do it again.
No chasing. No begging. No multiple paragraphs or email tsunamis trying to make them understand. These things don’t work with people who are determined to MISUNDERSTAND you, even if what they’ve told people about you is entirely untrue.
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