Tag: family

If you want your wife to β€¦.

π—œπ—™ 𝗬𝗒𝗨 π—ͺ𝗔𝗑𝗧 𝗔 π—ͺπ—œπ—™π—˜, π—§π—›π—˜π—‘ π—•π—˜ 𝗔 𝗛𝗨𝗦𝗕𝗔𝗑𝗗

1. If you want your wife to make love to you often, then take care of her heart. You cannot mistreat your wife and hurt her then expect great and frequent sex.

2. If you want your wife to respect you, then you have to do respectable and admirable things. You cannot dishonour her and shame her then expect her to excuse your gross misbehavior with a blanket respect. She can’t submit to torture.

3. If you want your wife to feel safe with you and open up to you, then you have to stop emotionally and physically abusing her. You cannot instil fear and wonder why she protects herself from you.

4. If you want your wife to enjoy intimacy with you, then you have to maintain oral and body hygiene. You cannot expect your wife to enjoy kissing you and playing with your penis yet you smell of sweat, you don’t shower, don’t brush your teeth and smell of cigarette, weed or alcohol.

5. If you want your wife to stop complaining, then you need to stop repeating the same wrongs. She complains because she has to call you out when you do wrong since she believes you can be better.

6. If you want your wife to be financially transparent with you and to stop making financial decisions behind your back, then you need to start showing financial responsibility. As long as you keep being reckless, she will save and invest without your knowledge to protect her future and that of the children.

7. If you want your wife to brag about you to people, then do things that make her proud. She cannot pretend that you are a great man yet you are not.

8. If you want your wife to stop nagging and being moody, then you need to make time to spend with her and make her feel special. A woman nags and becomes grumpy when she feels neglected. A loved up wife glows.

9. If you want your wife to stop fighting your friends, then you need to stop surrounding yourself with the wrong friends and allowing your friends to pull you away from your family. You wife is just protecting you.

10. If you want your wife to be proud to be your wife, then you have to do things that make her say “Yes” to you daily. Don’t expect her to be satisfied with the title of wife just because she wears your ring, has a marriage certificate or has your child/children.

11. If you want your wife to help you and support you, then you need to have a vision and share it with her. A woman can only be a helper to a man who knows where he is going and gives her room to build with him.

#karmasays #cctoowner

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Trauma Bonds – Charlie McCready

How can the child still suffer from trauma bonds and loyalties towards the abusive alienating parent even when the truth about their behaviour comes to light? How can the child come over to see me but not take off their coat as if they won’t settle in or stay long? How can we have plans for them to spend the first Christmas with me in a decade, but then, at the last minute, they cancel because they say nobody should be alone at Christmas and they need to be with their other parent forgetting or ignoring the fact I’ve spent many Christmases without them? Why don’t they tell me about important events in their life? Is it a habit to keep me at a ‘safe’ distance after all these years? Why do they mostly call when they want a favour? Why do they still believe I abandoned them? These have been some of my questions.

Reconciliation between an alienated child and a rejected parent can be a complex and challenging process, and it is not uncommon for the effects of parental alienation to persist even after the truth comes to light. The alienating parent employed various emotional manipulation tactics to create trauma bonds with the child and instil fear, guilt, or loyalty. Breaking these bonds can be difficult, as the child may have internalised these messages and developed a distorted perception of the rejected parent. The child may have experienced emotional abuse, coercion, or threats from the alienating parent, leading to deep-seated fear and trust issues. Rebuilding trust and feeling safe with the rejected parent can take time and require ongoing support. The child may struggle with conflicting emotions and beliefs. They may have been taught to see the rejected parent as the enemy or as someone unworthy of love, and reconciling this narrative with the new information can be psychologically challenging. The child may feel strongly loyal to the alienating parent, even if they were abusive or manipulative. This loyalty can stem from a fear of abandonment, a desire for approval, or a need to protect the alienating parent’s feelings.

Healing takes time. The child – or young adult – needs to process their emotions, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and rebuild their relationship with the rejected parent. What’s vital is that you do your healing first so you can welcome them with open arms, having let go of your anger and grief, and just give them love.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedparent

#ParentalAlienationSyndrome

#parentalalienation

#custodybattle

#childcustody

#mothersmatter

#FathersMatter

#FamilyCourt

Targeted Parents / Charlie Mc Cready

As an alienated parent, you might be up against manipulative tactics that encourage your child to engage in behaviours you find unacceptable, especially when it involves badmouthing and rejecting you. The alienating parent often uses these tactics to curry favor, painting themselves as the ‘good’ parent in contrast to your ‘strict’, β€˜old-fashioned’ or ‘uncool’ demeanor. This manipulation is not in the child’s best interest. In a healthy co-parenting arrangement, both parents work together to teach their children the right way to treat others and navigate life. Unfortunately, in cases of parental alienation, this collaboration is absent.

Parenting an alienated child requires a counterintuitive approach. It’s natural to want to defend yourself against constant criticism, but your actions speak louder than words. If ever, and whenever you have time with your child, focus on making them feel loved, supported, and safe. Let them feel heard. If they cross boundaries, gently but firmly remind them: “That isn’t a nice thing to say,” “That isn’t true,” or “Remember the rules in my house, please.” Maintain these boundaries with a light touch, drawing a line in the sand while staying strong and loving.

Showing up with love, kindness, and a positive attitude is crucial. Make your time with your child joyful and free of negativity and confrontation. When they leave their time with you feeling loved and happy, they will be more likely to want to spend time with you again. This positive experience can help them question the alienating parent’s narrative and see through the manipulation.

Traditional parenting styles often do not work with alienated children because the natural attachment bonds with your child are under attack. You are effectively parenting with your hands tied. By adapting your approach, arming yourself with conscious parenting, and being a role model of mental health and happiness, you give your child the best chance to resist the negative influence of the alienating parent and develop into their best selves.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#consciousparenting

#narcissisticparent

#FathersMatter

#mothersmatter

#childcustody

Heavy Hearts 😒❀️ /Charlie McCready

Parents whose children have been coerced and manipulated to reject them carry a heavy heart. The pain of being unjustly and cruelly alienated from one’s own children is an emotionally devastating and deeply challenging cross to bear. Carrying on means persevering through difficult circumstances, remaining resilient in the face of adversity, and prioritising your well-being and personal growth. It involves finding ways to cope with the emotional pain, and seeking support from trusted individuals. It means getting on with your life but hoping your child will regain clarity and autonomy. Ultimately, carrying on despite this heavy burden is an act of resilience, love, and hope. It is a testament to your strength and determination to navigate the challenges of parental alienation while keeping your heart open for the possibility of reconciliation and a renewed connection with your children. You are AMAZING.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#alienatedparent