Tag: Children

Heavy Hearts 😢❤️ /Charlie McCready

Parents whose children have been coerced and manipulated to reject them carry a heavy heart. The pain of being unjustly and cruelly alienated from one’s own children is an emotionally devastating and deeply challenging cross to bear. Carrying on means persevering through difficult circumstances, remaining resilient in the face of adversity, and prioritising your well-being and personal growth. It involves finding ways to cope with the emotional pain, and seeking support from trusted individuals. It means getting on with your life but hoping your child will regain clarity and autonomy. Ultimately, carrying on despite this heavy burden is an act of resilience, love, and hope. It is a testament to your strength and determination to navigate the challenges of parental alienation while keeping your heart open for the possibility of reconciliation and a renewed connection with your children. You are AMAZING.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#alienatedparent

Parallel Parenting -Charlie McCready

In cases of documented abuse and neglect towards children and spouses, the priority must always be the safety and well-being of the child. Parallel parenting can be a necessary approach in such situations, where the focus shifts from collaboration between parents to minimizing contact and interactions to ensure the safety of all involved parties.⁠

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Parallel parenting allows for the establishment of clear boundaries and guidelines for communication and decision-making, reducing the potential for further conflict and harm. It provides a structured framework for parents to fulfil their responsibilities while minimizing direct contact and exposure to abusive behaviours.⁠

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While the concept of parallel parenting may not completely resolve the underlying issues of abuse and neglect, it can provide a necessary safeguard for vulnerable individuals and facilitate a more stable environment for children to thrive. Additionally, it may be accompanied by legal measures such as restraining orders or supervised visitation to further ensure the safety of all parties involved.⁠

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The distinction between parental alienation and cases of documented abuse and neglect emphasises the paramount importance of protecting children from harm and taking appropriate actions to address and prevent further abuse. In cases of documented abuse, it’s crucial for professionals and authorities to prioritize the safety of the child and take appropriate actions to protect them from further harm. This may include intervention from child protective services, legal measures to restrict contact with the abusive parent, and providing support and resources for the non-abusive parent and child to heal and rebuild their lives.⁠

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalieantionischildabuse #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienationischildabuse #highconflictcoparenting #CoParenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #familycourt #childabuse #narcissisticfather #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissist #narcissists #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissism #narcissismawareness #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedfather #alienatedparent #alienated

Defining Parental Alienation

There is some debate surrounding the term “parental alienation” that reflects broader complexities within the realms of mental health, legal practice, and social dynamics. Let’s break it down:⁠

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Parental Alienation: This term is recognised chiefly by those who have experienced it for themselves, it is a way for us to find each other in what otherwise is an isolating, traumatic experience. The term itself refers to a situation where one parent deliberately manipulates their child’s perception of the other parent, often leading to the child’s unjustified rejection or hostility towards that parent where, before separation or divorce, there existed a good, loving bond.⁠

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Some renowned experts in the field prefer the term “attachment disorder” or “attachment-based parental alienation” to describe the dynamics seen in what others might label as “parental alienation.” The argument is that focusing on attachment disorders provides a more nuanced understanding of the underlying psychological mechanisms. Others criticise the term “parental alienation”, claiming it to be ‘debunked’ ‘pseudoscience’ which is misused in legal contexts. Certain women’s advocacy groups argue that the term “parental alienation” can be weaponized by abusive individuals, particularly men, to deflect accountability and continue exerting control over their former partners.⁠

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However, with all this debate, we are divided rather than united in combating the real problem, which is partner/spousal and child psychological abuse. The focus should not solely be on debating semantics or labels but rather on addressing the actual harm inflicted upon children and families when one parent uses them as pawns in their own conflicts. Whether termed “parental alienation” or viewed through the lens of attachment disorders, the fundamental issue is the manipulation and abuse of children for personal gain or vengeance. By prioritizing the well-being of children and holding accountable those who engage in such harmful behaviours, we can work towards fostering healthier familial relationships and protecting vulnerable individuals from further harm.⁠

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalieantionischildabuse #parentalalienation #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #familycourt #childabuse #narcissisticfather #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissism #narcissismawareness #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #

#alienated

The Alienator -Charlie McCready

Your child’s true nature is loving. So is yours. Believe it or not, it is the same for the alienating parent, the narcissistic abuser – love. They just lost their way. The alienating parent’s unloving, controlling, destructive, vengeful disordered pathological nature has come about through fear, through experiences in their past that remain unresolved and unhealed. And they are incredibly jealous of your love. They dread it because it’s powerful. What you need to do is remember your incredible loving nature and don’t let them dim your light with their dark, controlling ways and fear.

Fear has a way of distorting perceptions and causing people to react in ways that may not align with an innate loving nature. The experience of fear can lead to a desire to control others or situations to protect themselves. This control can manifest in various forms, such as manipulation, dominance, or jealousy.

Jealousy often arises when they perceive you still possess a capacity for love or experience fulfilling relationships. Despite their best endeavours to break you. They feel a sense of lack, a void, a disconnect from love. Instead of recognising and addressing their fears and insecurities, they project their envy onto you, onto anyone who seems to be confronting, challenging, or ego-wounding them.

Love and fear are opposing forces. Love encourages openness, empathy, and understanding, while fear often leads to closed-mindedness, defensiveness, and a need to control. Recognising and understanding the role of fear in unloving behaviours can be a starting point for personal growth and transformation. If the narcissistic abuser or alienating parent could address their fears and insecurities, and their pathological parenting, if they could take responsibility rather than blaming others, they too could reconnect with their ability to love. They would remember their child’s sovereignty and everyone’s sovereignty.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#highconflictcoparenting

#divorce

#FathersMatter

#mothersmatter

#custodybattle

#custody

#FamilyCourt

Reconciliation- Charlie McCready

It is hard for an alienated child, especially in adolescence, to become independent of the alienating parent and reconcile with us. They have such a burden of guilt, and they also fear rejection and retaliation – they know, just as much as we do, just how badly, frighteningly, and abusively the alienator can behave when upset or triggered. But at some point, when more mature, given some distance from the alienator, and with an innate curiosity about their ‘other’ parent, things can change. Even before, they may find living with the alienator intolerable, and they seek emancipation. Sometimes the child discovers the alienating parent is incapable of the emotional support the child needs. Or they get rejected by the alienator. The alienated child can return more easily when the ‘target’ parent remains welcoming, stable, and happy to receive them, without drama or retribution. This child may or may not be willing to come to terms with their enmeshment in their alienating parent’s pathological behaviours. They may need support with this. And It will help if the ‘target’ parent has done what they could to understand alienation from all perspectives. The child may not want to discuss it, but our understanding helps. We’ve not given up and have done all we can to remain strong, happy, resilient, and absolutely there for our ‘lost’ child whenever they’re ready to return and reconcile. They know we don’t put any guilt or blame on them or expect them to explain themselves, and we don’t tell them the pain it put us through or insist they hear our side of the story. We may even have to let them unburden themselves of all the false narratives they’ve been fed but not react with anger, remembering this was a form of psychological abuse and coercion inflicted on them. They’ll need time to unload and reprogramme. If we’ve done the emotional work and built up our resilience and understanding, we’ll be better equipped to deal with this (it’s not easy, the temptation is strong to put things right and tell our truth). You will see their love for us wasn’t destroyed. It was tampered with and obstructed. And they will see we never stopped loving them either.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#FamilyCourt

#custodybattle

#custody

#FathersMatter

#mothersmatter

Craig Childress PsyD Thought Disorder / Family Court

The forensic psychologists in the family courts have a thought disorder – a problem in their linear-logical reasoning system.

You will be encountering their thought disorder. You will need to guide your (ignorant) mental health person through the steps of logical reasoning.

Understand this clearly – the patient should NEVER have to explain the pathology to the doctor, the doctor should already know.

You have to explain the pathology to the doctor. These forensic psychologists are the worst imaginable.

And that’s all you currently have. It’s so bad, the mental health system in the family courts is so bad.

We need standards – start with the APA ethics code for competence and the DSM-5 for diagnosis.

Where are the licensing boards? Nowhere to be seen. Why is that? Why aren’t they enforcing ethical standards of practice for psychologists in the family courts?

How did the licensing boards allow things to get so bad to where the patients are explaining the pathology to the doctors?