The silent wife of Narcissist

It is true .

Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional

Mental Midget , emotionally immature

Years of knowing his cycles , his denial that change and healing were crucial .

His non response mode

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The damaged woman

Here is a truth you often don’t hear: traumatized women have the potential to become the most powerful people in this world.

The most ignorant members of society call this type of woman “damaged.” But she is the most powerful type of woman there is.

What they forget is that survivors have the most dangerous advantage of all: resilience.

When you try and you try but you can never bring a woman down, you’ll know there is no going back. Don’t fool yourself. You could never defeat her. You never will.

This is the woman who will always rise from the dead; Lady Lazarus, after going through hell and back.

This is the woman who has burned her feet in the flames time and time again and always lives to tell another tale – even if she has to crawl back to life.

She was never given love or approval on a silver platter, so in order to survive, she had to love herself in a way others could only dream of. She fought tooth and nail for her own self-acceptance.

No one cuddled her as a child or told her pretty things; she had to fend for herself each step of the way. She knows she can survive because she already has and will again.

When someone tells her, “You can’t do it,” she says, “Watch me.”

She is fiery light birthed out of wintery darkness. Brought into the underworld by Hades, Persephone brings forth spring and rebirth when she reemerges finally from the cold.

She owns her shadows and seamlessly weaves them into the fabric of her freedom, creativity, imagination and independence.

All of her life, she was given every evidence of human cruelty and the evil people were capable of. She understood early on that the monsters people dreamed of existed in human skin.

She lived all of her nightmares in high definition. She was given every reason to give up, handed every justification to never believe in herself or anyone.

But there is raw magic in the ways in which she cultivates a faith in herself, to manifest the dreams her soul was meant to bring forth.

Despite it all, she still conquers.

She still survives and thrives.

The “damaged” woman is capable of immense manifestation not just in spite of, but because of the traumas she has gone through.

There is no one more motivated than a woman who has constantly been told what she cannot do or who she cannot be throughout her lifetime.

There is no one more determined to succeed than someone who has nothing left to lose.

The “damaged” woman doesn’t sign up for the hardships of her journey – but she plays the hell out of the cards she’s been dealt.

The “damaged” woman is not damaged at all – she is wounded, and in channeling and healing her wounds, she becomes the source of incredible energy, the site of unbelievable potential for abundance and change.

She possesses the power to use her wounds for the greater good and her highest good.

She builds her own success and becomes her own rugged hero; tends to her own scraped knees.

She uses every stone thrown at her to build the foundation for her empire.

Brick by brick she builds – and despite every attempt to tear her walls down, she rescues herself again and again.

Despite it all, this type of survivor may still face hatred, envy, greed from those around her. They try to tell her she is too damaged to soar.

See, when the women society call too “damaged” perform better than those who never were, it tends to upset the status quo.

As a result, she becomes the survivor of countless witch hunts, the target of many persecutors. Yet when they try to burn her at the stake, she does what comes naturally: she resurrects herself.

After all, nobody suspects that it is the wounded woman who has more power inside of her than the bullies who appear to overpower her.

They laugh and ridicule the mute warrior, the one who seems to never fight back.

But here’s the thing about this type of woman: she observes.

She learns how to pick and fight her own battles. Her spirit may be broken, but it is relentless. She perseveres, bit by bit. She takes it all in.

Perhaps she stays voiceless for years. For her soul, it may seem like for centuries. This is an ancient wound, one that seems to follow her from generation to generation.

Yet at some point, it comes time for her soul to fight back in order to survive. It comes time for her to rise.

She stays silent for so long that when she finally speaks, the world erupts and cracks wide open.

Her pent-up magnificent energy, born and bred in the pressure cooker that she calls life – is that of lightning.

Where once hopelessness was her default, now abundance becomes her birthright.

Where once she was timid, she now unleashes thunder in every action and word that she wields like a sword – and with it, she always brings a storm.

Now when she creates, she creates new worlds and transforms and manifests on a level that cannot be recreated by someone who never had to struggle to survive.

When you hear the voice of a powerful survivor and the will of a warrior – there is nothing you can do but to stop and listen.

She is the voice of a million lifetimes lived.

She is the voice of the hopeless and the powerless when the fire is brought back to their eyes. She is the harbinger of the justice that the voiceless have longed to hear and feel and touch.

Regardless of how much you try and how it may seem, you can never truly bring a survivor like this to her knees; she already knows the value her scars bring.

She knows how to fill the cracks between her wounds with gold.

She knows how to transform each bitter word cast upon her into an iron-clad will that will set her and other caged birds free.

You can’t ever defeat a “damaged” woman, because she knows exactly how to save herself.

– Shahida Arabi

Hysteria

There is a movie about this as well

In antiquity, women who had anxiety, mood swings and depression were sent by their husbands to the doctor, who diagnosed them with a disease called ′′ hysteria “. Their treatment was based on a ′′ pelvic massage ′′ with the purpose of achieving hysterical paroxysm, now known as orgasm.

There were so many women who began to attend consultations to have their ′′ treatment for hysteria ′′ that doctors at the end of the workday were exhausted and their hands were shaky; that’s why they decided to invent a useful device that produced rhythmic vibrations and that hysterical paroxysm was achieved easier and faster in the patient without the need for the common manual massage: this is the origin of the vibrator. At that time it was seen as a healing artifact, even the wealthiest women had them in their homes for when they felt ′′ bouts of hysteria “.

For more info there are many books written on this subject.

C Sections & Human Evolution

In the future, women may not be able to give birth without having a C-section.

Experts say that C-sections have increased the gap between the size of newborns and their mothers’ pelvises. More women are born with smaller pelvises, whereas babies’ head sizes are getting bigger.

In the past, larger babies and mothers with narrow pelvises sizes had small survival rates. As a result, genes for these traits were not passed down through the generations. C-sections are helping bigger babies and women with smaller pelvis to survive the labor.

As a result, genes for smaller birth canals in women are now becoming more common, which in turn is increasing the need for even more C-sections.

The problem? According to the World Health Organization, the rising rates of C-sections suggest an increasing number of medically unnecessary, potentially harmful procedures.

While birth is painful, a C-section is harmful to the woman and is not often the best solution when medical issues arise.

Managing childbirth pain involves a combination of physical, psychological, and medical strategies tailored to each woman’s needs and preferences. Physical techniques include practicing various breathing exercises and relaxation techniques that can help manage contractions. Deep, focused breathing promotes relaxation and can reduce the perception of pain. Positions and movements such as walking, rocking, squatting, or using a birthing ball can also alleviate discomfort by enhancing the progression of labor and reducing the pressure on the back. Warm showers or baths are known to soothe and provide significant relief during labor.

Psychological strategies play a crucial role in managing childbirth pain.

The presence of a supportive partner, doula, or a familiar person can offer emotional reassurance and practical assistance, making the labor experience more comfortable. Visualization and mindfulness can also distract from pain and reduce anxiety, focusing the mind on positive outcomes rather than discomfort. Medical interventions include various forms of pain relief ranging from non-invasive to invasive options. Certain medications can be used for mild pain relief, allowing the woman to remain mobile and alert.

Source 1:

https://www.who.int/news/item/16-06-2021-caesarean-section-rates-continue-to-rise-amid-growing-inequalities-in-access

Source 2: https://nationalpartnership.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/what-every-pregnant-woman-needs-to-know-about-cesarean-section.pdf

Sweet Child of Mine

Sweet child of mine

I’d grab a star and

store it full of magic

and endless light to

carry you through,

out into days that

would take you

away although

never far enough

for distance, yet

pull you across

time where I’d

wrap myself in

the gentle folds

of remembrance,

an endless candle

illuminating every

eternal memory,

our days never

stretching long

enough when our

stories blended

into all the wonder

of your unwinding

imagination,

where I fell with you

back into a dream,

a child again holding

a gift I was given…

a heart-shaped star

full of light and magic.

gwj

(artist unknown)

Mother Christmas

At this time of the year, the Winter Solstice, a patriarchal theft by the Church is revealed by the concept of “Father Christmas.” It was stolen from the indigenous shamanic cultures primarily from Siberia and the Nordic countries of Northern Norway, Finland (Lapland), and the Arctic Circle.

Long before Santa and his flying steeds, it was the female reindeer who drew the sleigh of the sun goddess at the Winter Solstice. It was when the pagan traditions of winter were “Christianized” that “Father Christmas” was born.

It was never “Father Christmas” that brought gifts and the return of light at the Winter Solstice—it was “Mother Christmas,” the ancient Deer Mother of old. It was she who once flew through winter’s longest darkest night with the life-giving light of the sun in her horns.

And from the British Isles, Scandinavia, Russia, Siberia, across the land bridge of the Bering Strait, she was a revered spiritual figure associated with fertility, motherhood, regeneration and the rebirth of the sun (the theme of winter solstice).

Her antlers adorned shrines and altars, were buried in ceremonial graves and were worn as shamanic headdresses. Her image was etched in standing stones, woven into ceremonial cloth and clothing, cast in jewelry, painted on drums, and tattooed onto skin.

Reindeer were often shown leaping or flying through the air with neck outstretched and legs flung out fore and aft. Her antlers were frequently depicted as the tree of life, carrying birds, the sun, moon, and stars. And across the northern world, it was the Deer Mother who took flight from the dark of the old year to bring light and life to the new.

Sorry Rudolph, but the male reindeer shed their antlers in the winter, it is only the doe who retains her antlers as she is the one who leads the herds in winter. Ever since the early Neolithic period, the female reindeer was venerated by northern people. She was the “life-giving mother,” the leader of the herds upon which they depended for survival, and they followed the reindeer migrations for milk, food, clothing and shelter.

One of these cultures that honored the “life-giving mother, “the Deer Mother was the Sami.

For the Sami, the indigenous people of the Nordic countries, Beaivi is the name for the Sun Goddess associated with motherhood, the fertility of plants and the reindeer. At Winter Solstice, warm butter (a symbol of the sun) was smeared on doorposts as a sacrifice to Beaivi so that she could gain strength and fly higher and higher into the sky. Beaivi was often shown accompanied by her daughter in an enclosure of reindeer antlers and together they returned green and fertility to the land.

Many other winter goddesses in northern legends were associated with the solstice. They took to the skies led by a bevy of flying animals. One tells of the return of Saule, the Lithuanian and Latvian goddess of the sun. She flew across the heavens in a sleigh pulled by horned reindeer and threw pebbles of amber (symbolizing the sun) into chimneys.

While many historical explorations of the pagan origins of Christmas observe the link between Santa’s garb and the red and white amanita mushroom ingesting shamans, few mention that it was the female shamans who originally wore red and white costumes trimmed with fur, horned headdresses or red felt hats! The ceremonial clothing worn by medicine women healers of Siberia and Lapland, was green and white with a red peaked hat, curled toed boots, reindeer mittens, fur lining and trim.

Considering that most of the shamans in this region were originally women, it is likely that their traditional wear is the true source for Santa’s costume. And it is also very likely that they were the first to take shamanic flight with the reindeer on winter’s darkest night.