Tag: survivors

Pathological narcissists FEEL that they are entitled and superior. They perceive life, interactions, relationships, and all happenings through a lens in which they believe that **** what they FEEL is truth.
Their sense of entitlement and superiority allow them to believe that they own the sole rights to reality, truth. As they function from a place of a false self, they believe that what they FEEL dictates reality. What does this mean, though?
It means, that, if a pathological narcissist FEELS that you have hurt them, even if all actual evidence points to the fact you have not hurt them, they perceive their FEELINGS to be all the evidence that they need to make what they FEEL to be true. You cannot argue real facts or evidence to plead your case. AS SOON AS the pathological narcissist FELT like you hurt them, they believed it to be truth.
This goes into the scope of ANY and ALL FEELINGS that the narc may experience. They will accuse you of lying, deceiving, and manipulating them if they FEEL like you have. They will accuse victims of acts, behaviors, and intentions that have no grounding in actual reality, yet, if they FEEL that the victim has committed the act, behaved in a certain way, or intended something negative, then, to the narc, it automatically becomes the truth to them.
For the rest of us, we realize that feelings are feelings. Feelings are separate from actual facts, evidence, or proof. For narcs, they PERCEIVE their FEELINGS TO BE facts, evidence, and to them, irrefutable proof. If they FEEL hurt, then they conclude that you hurt them. How did you hurt them? Where is the proof that you hurt them? The narcissist = “The proof is that I feel hurt.” If they feel that you lied to them (when you know that you did not). How did I lie to you? Where is the evidence? The narc= “The proof is that I feel that you lied to me.” If they feel that you cheated on them. Why do you think this? Where is the proof? The narc = ” The proof is that I feel that you cheated on me.”
Pathological narcissists are living in a world of magical thinking (the thought process that allows them to see themselves as perfect/flawless/superior) and a world that denies a shared, accepted reality. They create their reality. To them, their reality is the reigning reality. The victim becomes trapped in their false reality. When the victim attempts to argue facts, evidence, and actual proof, the narcissist views this, itself as a threat, because according to them, what they FEEL is the be all end all of it. They perceive that the victim is trying to manipulate them when they are presenting facts and actual evidence. To them, they have already scripted their version of reality in accordance to their FEELINGS. Their delusional thinking is deeply ingrained. ©️2022 Holding The Space: A Path of Insight for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse