Tag: relationships

Family Court Nightmare for Mom

19 Year-Old Sues Family Court Officials for $250 Million for Taking Her Away from Mom; Giving Custody to Father

Defendants Include Lawyers, Social Workers, Evaluators, GAL’s

“The defendants conspired to deny Annelise access to the courts and intentionally inflicted emotional distress on Annelise while she was still a minor. Defendants knowingly interfered with Annelise’s constitutional right to a relationship with her mother and four siblings, causing inordinate stress and difficulty.”

– Dede Evavold, blogger at Red Herring Alert

Annelise Rice, a hockey player at UND [University of North Dakota] and graduate of Minnetonka High School, filed a lawsuit on March 17, 2017, in Minnesota federal court seeking damages for deprivation of civil rights by tortuous [sic] intervention [interference] in a mother-child relationship and deprivation of rights under color of the law (Civil Action No. 17-cv-796 ADM/HB).

…The defendants include court-appointed Guardians at litem, Social Workers, and lawyers who were involved in the custody evaluation and CHIPS (Child in Need of Protection or Services) proceedings for Annelise Rice.

…Judges, lawyers, and social workers no longer have absolute immunity and can be held responsible for their actions that deprive Constitutional rights, even if they are acting in an official role.

This case is highly unusual due to the large amount of defendants involved.

…Annelise asks the court for relief in an amount great enough to deter defendants and others in similar positions from engaging in this egregious misconduct in the future. There have been many cases of negligence by social services that have put young lives at risk.

Social workers, Guardians at litem, lawyers, and judges need to be held accountable to prevent further neglect, abuse, and deaths of children in protective care. This lawsuit could potentially turn into a class action suit, because of the amount of families that have been mistreated in this way. Contact: Annelise Rice at More.moxie@me.com

EXCERPTS from:

19 YEAR-OLD SUES FOR DEPRIVATION OF CIVIL RIGHTS

https://redherringalert.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/19-year-old-sues-for-deprivation-of-civil-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-863

SUMMARY:

Annelise’s mom, Caroline, went from being a stay-at-home mom to losing custody of her five children. When the father decided he wanted to take the kids away from his ex, family court officials, led by Judge Richard Perkins, kicked into gear and made that happen. Full custody was awarded to the father, even though the children testified to horrible physical abuse by him.

At one point, Annelise ran away from her father and fled to Canada with her mom, however they were caught and Caroline was jailed. Caroline was jailed three times in her many attempts to protect her children, and she was tormented there in an effort to break and silence her.

Judge Perkins presided over the prosecution of Caroline for “abduction”, which was a clear conflict of interest, and at which she, not surprisingly, was convicted. But the appellate court actually overturned her conviction citing Judge Perkins’ biased handling of the case, including exclusion of evidence of the father’s abuse from the jury. So there was some due process for Caroline at the appellate level, which is unusual.

The children have spoken about the pain of losing their mother for many years.

COALITION NOTE: The sheer number of court-affiliated officials whom Annelise is suing spotlights the systemic coordination to empower fathers to take custody of their children—and that is not an exhaustive list. There are likely many more professionals who participated. Most cases in which a mother is trying to keep or protect her children involves many court-affiliated professionals who go along with the agenda and help the father win custody—whether he is abusive or just wants to avoid child support.

It is unclear why Judge Richard Perkins is not included in the lawsuit, since the article asserts that judges can now be held accountable through these civil rights lawsuits, and especially since an appellate court found Judge Perkins to have been biased.

It is also unclear who the judge is on Annelise’s federal civil rights case. The docket states that it is Judge Ann Montgomery, but that it is referred to Judge Hildy Bowbeer. Hopefully, whoever it is will not dismiss the case and will make fair rulings.

Answers to Annelise’s complaint are due in June. Watch this space for updates.

Previous Safe Kids post:

Judge Richard Perkins Held Accountable for Covering Up Abuse!

Some of the story as told by Annelise’s older sister, Lauren

A Mother’s Love: Caroline Marie Halonen-Rice Jailed for Protecting her Children- In Her Daughter’s Own Words- a Plea for Help, for Justice for Love

[Pictured: Annelise and Caroline (top left); Judge Ann Montgomery (left middle); Judge Hildy Bowbeer (left bottom); Annelise (right)]

Detachment of adult child

The detachment a mother experiences when letting go of an adult child is a multifaceted and often profound emotional process.

Its not a sudden severing of ties, but rather a gradual shift in the mother-child relationship as the child transitions into independence.

Heres a breakdown of what this detachment can entail:

Emotional Shifts:

* A Sense of Loss and Grief:

Even though its a natural progression, mothers can experience a sense of loss akin to grief.

This can stem from the changing daily interactions, the feeling of no longer being the primary caregiver and the realization that their childs life is now largely separate from their own.

The “empty nest syndrome” is a well-known manifestation of this.

* Letting Go of Control and Worry: Mothers have often spent years ensuring their childs safety and well-being.

Letting go involves relinquishing a degree of control and learning to trust their adult child’s decisions, even if they differ from their own.

This can be a source of anxiety and worry for some mothers.

* Redefining Identity:

For many mothers, a significant part of their identity is tied to being a parent.

As their children become independent, they may need to redefine their role and sense of purpose beyond active mothering.

This can be a time of self-discovery but also potential uncertainty.

* Mixed Emotions:

The detachment process often involves a complex mix of emotions.

There can be sadness and nostalgia for the past but also pride and joy in seeing their child thrive.

There might be relief at having more personal time, coupled with a pang of missing the daily connection.

* Emotional Distance (Healthy vs. Unhealthy):

A healthy detachment involves creating appropriate emotional boundaries, allowing the adult child to navigate their own life while still offering support when needed.

Unhealthy detachment can manifest as emotional unavailability, disinterest, or a premature pushing away, which can harm the parent-child relationship.

Behavioral and Relational Changes:

* Shifting from Caregiver to Supporter:

The mothers role evolves from direct caregiving to offering emotional support, guidance (when asked), and a safety net.

The dynamic becomes more adult-to-adult.

* Respecting Boundaries:

A crucial aspect of healthy detachment is respecting the adult child’s boundaries regarding their personal life, decisions and space. This can be challenging after years of being deeply involved.

* Less Frequent Direct Involvement:

Daily interactions and involvement in the childs life naturally decrease as the adult child establishes their own routines, relationships and responsibilities.

* New Forms of Connection:

The relationship doesnt necessarily diminish but transforms.

Connection might shift to less frequent but more meaningful interactions, focusing on shared interests and mutual respect.

Psychological Aspects:

* Attachment Theory:

This theory suggests that the bond between parent and child evolves over time.

Healthy detachment in adulthood signifies a secure attachment where the child feels confident to explore independently, knowing the parent is still a secure base to return to if needed.

* Developmental Stages:

Both the parent and the adult child are navigating new developmental stages.

The mother might be entering a phase of re-focusing on personal goals, while the child is establishing their independence.

* Individual Differences:

The experience of detachment varies greatly among mothers.

Factors such as personality, the closeness of the previous relationship, the mothers support system and her own interests and activities play a significant role.

Challenges:

* Enabling vs. Supporting: Mothers may struggle with the balance between offering support and enabling dependence, hindering their childs growth.

* Difficulty Letting Go of the “Baby”:

It can be emotionally challenging to see a grown adult instead of the child they nurtured for so long.

* Societal Expectations: Sometimes, societal norms or personal expectations can make it difficult for mothers to embrace their changing role.

The detachment a mother goes through is a complex emotional and relational adjustment.

Its a necessary process that allows the adult child to fully step into their own life while ideally maintaining a loving and supportive, albeit different, relationship with their mother.

A healthy detachment fosters independence, mutual respect, and an evolving bond that reflects the changing needs of both individuals.

“Life is a balance between holding on and letting go.”

Rumi

On a personal note:

I Am going through this process right now and to be honest this has been one of the absolute most difficult things I have ever had to do.

I have practiced detachment for many years.

To some degree, I have had to let go of every single person I have ever loved.

But there is nothing, NOTHING, that can prepare a mother to learn how to detach from their child in a healthy, loving way.

I was talking with my husband and said to him:

“I feel lost.

The mother role is an identity I have lived with for 25+ years.

I dont know who I Am. And its confusing.”

He said to me:

“Maybe it’s not about who you are but about who you want to become.”

To the Mamas out there:

If you have gone through this or have yet to, just know that you are not alone, that every single feeling you experience upon the entire spectrum of emotion is VALID.

The only way to heal is to feel.

Bless your beautiful Mama hearts.

I bow deeply and with respect for the challenge we all share as being the Mothers.

One of the hardest things a mother will ever do is watch her heart walking around outside her chest and hope the world is gentle with it.

~Monique Satonin

Art: FreePik

Sacred Divine Feminine

https://EmpowerWholeness.com