Tag: relationships

Defining Parental Alienation

There is some debate surrounding the term “parental alienation” that reflects broader complexities within the realms of mental health, legal practice, and social dynamics. Let’s break it down:⁠

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Parental Alienation: This term is recognised chiefly by those who have experienced it for themselves, it is a way for us to find each other in what otherwise is an isolating, traumatic experience. The term itself refers to a situation where one parent deliberately manipulates their child’s perception of the other parent, often leading to the child’s unjustified rejection or hostility towards that parent where, before separation or divorce, there existed a good, loving bond.⁠

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Some renowned experts in the field prefer the term “attachment disorder” or “attachment-based parental alienation” to describe the dynamics seen in what others might label as “parental alienation.” The argument is that focusing on attachment disorders provides a more nuanced understanding of the underlying psychological mechanisms. Others criticise the term “parental alienation”, claiming it to be ‘debunked’ ‘pseudoscience’ which is misused in legal contexts. Certain women’s advocacy groups argue that the term “parental alienation” can be weaponized by abusive individuals, particularly men, to deflect accountability and continue exerting control over their former partners.⁠

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However, with all this debate, we are divided rather than united in combating the real problem, which is partner/spousal and child psychological abuse. The focus should not solely be on debating semantics or labels but rather on addressing the actual harm inflicted upon children and families when one parent uses them as pawns in their own conflicts. Whether termed “parental alienation” or viewed through the lens of attachment disorders, the fundamental issue is the manipulation and abuse of children for personal gain or vengeance. By prioritizing the well-being of children and holding accountable those who engage in such harmful behaviours, we can work towards fostering healthier familial relationships and protecting vulnerable individuals from further harm.⁠

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalieantionischildabuse #parentalalienation #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #familycourt #childabuse #narcissisticfather #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissism #narcissismawareness #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #

#alienated

Always kinda Love ❤️💯🙏

He always pushes the grocery cart.

(and when we get back to the truck, he always unlocks the doors immediately so that I can get in, and then proceeds to unload the groceries, while I’m sat in the truck with the seat warmers on. rain or shine – every time – this is our grocery game plan)

Can I let you all in on a little secret?

It’s taken me many years to appreciate being loved like this.

You see, I spent (ie. wasted) a lot of time looking for all how love in shown in the movies, in the magazines, and on the commercials.

Flowers.

Chocolates.

Romantic meals.

Surprise getaways.

And guess what?

I was disappointed time. and time. and time again.

All because I was looking for the ways that I was being told he should show his love –

Instead of paying attention to how he actually does show his love.

And when I eventually came to that realization, Friends?

That was the relationship game changer.

For he rarely buys flowers,

But he calls me every day when he gets off of work, to see if I need anything picked up.

He never thinks of buying chocolate,

But whenever he sees anything that resembles a slice of plant-based, organic goodness, he always buys it for me – And is always so proud to surprise me with his latest grocery store find.

He can only boil eggs and butter bread,

So while I have never walked into a dining room with candles flickering and plates of gourmet goodness laid out – He wakes up every Sunday morning, puts on coffee, pours up my favorite mug, and passes it to me while I’m cozied up on the living room couch (and if my mug is in yesterday’s dirty dishes, he’ll always wash it out. bless him).

And while he cannot put together a travel itinerary to save his soul,

He has sat in a theatre on Broadway with me to watch a musical. He has walked through Ernest Hemingway’s home with me. He has been through more museums and libraries in a lifetime than he cares to admit. And he has never complained about any of it. Not even once.

And it’s more than that. So much more than that.

He’s gotten up in the middle of the night with a crying baby. If his restaurant order is better than mine, he’ll always switch plates. He watches Sleepless in Seattle when he would rather be watching Jason Bourne (at least I think that’s his name). He knows my most favourite ‘lady products’, and will run to the pharmacy to grab me them whenever needed (if that isn’t love, I don’t know what is).

…And, he will always, always push the grocery cart.

You know, the more I think of it,

The flowers, the chocolates, the romantic meals, and the surprise getaways?

That’s all just momentary anyway.

The flowers die. The chocolate and meals get devoured. And the surprise getaways happen, and then they’re over.

But it’s in the moments that you can depend on (over and over and over again), well, that’s where the love is found.

The good love.

The always love.

Like your ‘most coziest blanket on a fall day’ love.

…And it’s THAT kinda’ love that I want to walk through this life feeling.

Don’t search for the flowers, Ladies. Nor waste your time in want of the chocolates.

Search for the one who will push your grocery cart.

For that’s where the always kinda’ love is ♡

The trauma of being an unwanted child

This one was huge for me , and I’m so happy to have discovered the most logical explanation of what was a sad and distorted childhood . Mom and I didn’t bond due to a ” cocktail ” of a hallucinogenic RX combined to put a birthing Mom into a trance where there was no memory of birthing her child .

Yes at time it was extremely painful and I was totally wasted as a psychiatric patient

youtube.com/watch

Intimacy

To be intimate with someone isn’t about being physical with someone.

Intimacy doesn’t come from a place of physicality.

It’s about trusting someone because they make you feel safe.

It’s about sharing your deepest fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities with someone who embraces who you are without judgement.

Someone who looks after your heart as though it’s a delicate flower.

It’s about being able to be open about your inner thoughts, your pain, your past, and your trauma to another person, knowing that they will listen with empathy and understanding.

It’s when you can reveal the broken pieces of your soul, and they respond with kindness, warmth, and love.

It’s a place where you can be your true authentic self without fear of judgement, abandonment, or rejection, because they make you feel safe…

It’s a special person who will stand beside you through all of life’s highs and lows reminding you that you are never alone in this beautiful but sometimes difficult journey we call life.

Intimacy is really about feeling safe…

Because true intimacy comes from the heart and soul…

~Mark Smith

Soul mates

“Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you happiest, no. They’re instead the ones who make you feel the most. Burning edges and scars and stars. Old pangs, captivation and beauty. Strain and shadows and worry and yearning. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope.”

– Victoria Erickson

[Image: The Travels of the Soul (1902) by American painter Howard Pyle (1853-1911).]

The Smart Witch by Elizabeth