Tag: relationships

Hold my hand

Will you… hold my hand for a little while?

I don’t need you to save me.

No need for you to fix anything.

No need for you to carry my pain.

But will you simply hold my hand?

I don’t need your words,

Your thoughts,

Nor your shoulders to carry me.

But will you sit here for a while with me?

Whilst my tears stream,

Whilst my heart shatters,

Whilst my mind plays tricks on me,

Will you, with your presence, let me know that I am not alone, while I wander into my inner unknown?

For my darkness is mine to face,

My pain is mine to feel,

And my wounds are mine to heal.

But will you sit with me here, while I courageously show up for it all, my dear?

For I am bright because of my darkness,

Beautiful because of my brokenness,

And strong because of my tender heart.

But will you take my hand lovingly when I sometimes journey into the dark?

I don’t ask for you to take my darkness away,

I don’t expect you to brighten my day,

And I don’t believe you can mend my pain.

But I would surely love it if you could sit for a while and hold my hand, until I find my way out of my shadowland!

So, will you… hold my hand until I return again?

Crime of Parental Alienation /Charlie McCready

The realisation that a parent has deceived them is horrifying. It’s no easy feat to come to terms with the lies fed to them to create a distorted picture of one of their parents – and often that entire side of the family too. They may remember how they felt at first when the alienating behaviours started, the times they felt conflicted and torn between their love for both parents and the requirement, encouragement and reasons given by one not to love the other, and their desire to please the parent who seemed so rightfully angry.

At first, there’s a profound sense of disbelief and shock that a parent they trusted manipulated them into believing a web of lies that poisoned their perception of a parent they had loved and wouldn’t have chosen to reject without their encouragement, coercion and false narratives. Anger quickly follows. It’s a betrayal that cuts deep as they grapple with the enormity of the lies. It hurts as they try to find a way to understand the fact their love and loyalty were exploited for selfish motives.

There’s grief too. A mourning for the time lost, and the version of their life that could have been, the innocence lost too. It’s a terrible realisation that their childhood was not what it should have been as they discover the extent of the deception. They may struggle to reconcile the person they are today with the person they could have been if they’d been allowed to make their own judgments and decisions.

Shame and self-blame can follow because they wonder how they were so easily misled. How can they ever trust their judgement again? Why didn’t they see the truth sooner? It’s a heavy burden to bear, feeling as though they played a role in their manipulation and the grief and anger they feel now that their rejected parent was put through because of the alienating behaviours of their trusted parent.

Ultimately, there’s a yearning for clarity and truth, even as the reality is painful to accept. Although the journey towards understanding and acceptance is fraught with complex emotions, it can also be liberating, as they break free of coercive control and deception. They can reconstruct their identity and life as they unpick the lies.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#CoerciveControl

She’s Tired

She’s tired of the psychological mind games and people pretending to be someone they’re not.

She’s tired of the shallow conversations with people that only care about themselves.

She’s tired of attention from men with hidden agendas.

She’s tired of being treated like an option when she should have been treated like a priority from the first conversation.

She’s tired of spending countless nights questioning her own self worth.

She’s tired of people not respecting her boundaries and forcing her to do things she’s not ready to do.

She’s at a point in her life where she wants to be loved correctly or be left alone completely.

~ Cody Bret

Narcissism

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, there will always be another secret life going on behind your back.

This is because these people are very empty, and they need stimulation from multiple sources just to face existence. They’ll be doing drugs or pornography. They’ll be stringing multiple partners through flirting and emotional affairs. They will be chasing financial intrigue that occasionally gets them into scams and trouble.

The reason they must flirt with other people is also because they’re seeking to move on to other people who don’t know the games they play.

They know they’ll get bored with you eventually, or you’ll learn to resist their shenanigans. And since being alone would kill them, they begin to groom possible replacements among anyone whom they can charm.

You’ll also notice this habit of making promises to you and then using those promises as a dangling carrot to get compliance from you. If you don’t do what they want, they’ll withdraw the promise.

Sometimes, they’ll deny having promised at all, or they postpone it until you give up. The truth is that they never intended to fulfill it in the first place.

Narcissists have lost all sense of right and wrong. Everything is about satisfying themselves.

When you finally leave, they’ll circle back to you, pretending to be checking on you when actually they’re checking if they still have access.

If you have a child with them, they would weaponise that child to torture you until you cut them off totally or you manage to enforce boundaries with the help of the law.

But the child will be scarred or wasted by the counter parenting and objectification from the narcissist.

Society knows very little about narcissists.

Sometimes, you stay because you fear the pain of letting go until you realize the pain you’re already taking for holding on.

Other times, you think you’re staying for the children until you realize that the narcissist is turning all of them into other small narcissists and broken empaths.

Your solution is to recognize that this person is incapable of peace. They’re only excellent at pretending and confusing you.

You will never have a life until you detach from them and direct your life towards wholeness and emotional stability.

Credit to original poster.

Final Separation

I have long been over the connection with X and certainly over my abandonment issues . In discussing this passionately due to the varied legal/business and psychological aspects, I guess others could infer that I am still connected to X .

That’s so not true

The Final Separation between partners after a long relationship is difficult, not just emotionally but also physiologically.

Throughout the relationship, even one with problems, both individuals activate neural networks that produce chemical neurotransmitters and peptides, giving their experiences a certain emotional tone and reinforcing their personalities.

The two become so accustomed to the relationship that, even when they decide to end it, they cannot immediately destroy the neural connections and chemical attachments between them.

After the breakup, memories of their experiences remind the body that it is now deprived of its usual chemical stimulation.

The pain of ending a relationship can be caused by the interruption of a neurological habit.

Considering the chemistry of emotional dependence, it’s no surprise that so many couples break up, reunite, and then repeat the cycle.

We may separate from others, but we remain chemically dependent on the emotional states generated by the relationship, at least for a period of time.

When we feel a certain attraction toward a partner, we are convinced that they are the right one for us.

However, most of the time, the person we are drawn to reflects the unresolved emotional wounds we carry.

Often, when we feel a strong attraction to someone, it’s not just hormones at play- we are intuitively drawn to partners because we subconsciously believe they will help us resolve our emotional issues, even ones we are unaware of.

The more abandoned we feel, the more we are attracted to people who tend to abandon those who care about them.

Marriage to a Narcissist Man

When you marry a narcissistic man, you never get a chance to be a wife; instead, you take on the role of a mother because these adults behave like man-children.

Narcissists don’t marry for love or partnership; they marry because they want a maid, cook, secretary, banker, and a nanny.

They crave control, not connection. Their selfish desires consume them, leaving you to run the household, raise the children, and satisfy their every whim.

Your dreams of a loving and equal relationship are shattered, replaced by the harsh reality of servitude.

As days turn into weeks, and weeks into years, you become a shadow of your old self.

Your identity is erased, replaced by the exhausting duties of handling a narcissist’s life

You are obliged to sacrifice your own desires, interests and friendships to accommodate their demands.

Emotional childbirth is suffocating, leaving you drained, resentful, and wondering how you ended up in this nightmare.

You’re not alone in this fight.

Many women have fallen prey to the charming facade of a narcissist, only to find themselves trapped in a loveless and ungrateful role.

Remember, you deserve better 💜

Loss in the silence

Perhaps it’s due to several decades of overt targeting, prior to several decades of being up close and personal to the dream and the nightmare .

I know I’ll never be the same ; our sons won’t ever be who we were and it’s past time to recreate my space and step out of the long shadow of high conflict , malignant , manipulation , intimate partner violence that produces Child Psychological Abuse that’s largely abused or ignored legally .

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life

is when they are watching their

whole world fall apart,

and all they can do is stare blankly.

It’s not the shattering itself that breaks you

it’s the silence that follows,

the quiet space where you realize

there’s nothing left to salvage.

And in that moment,

you know that you’ll never be the same again.

You’ll build something new,

perhaps,

but it will never be what you lost.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Going to leave this broke down palace,

On my hands and my knees G⚡️D