I never knew this, from tracing to Germany with no discussion,
I lived with the rigidly of a partner who was critical of my every
move or non move. Asking for help when it is clearly needed ,
was part and parcel of ” marriage ” to an under developed
emotionally stuck man child . I realized he wasn’t meeting
in the middle. He worked outside the home and that’s all he
had to do. Taking a road job he was away 3 days a week,
in order to dodge responsibility ..
Sadly , many adult men were ” sheltered ” in the model of
trauma bond with mom, ” matured ” socially , but from
birth has had less emotionally grounding /bonding with
Mom, and need and deserve it ..The interactions of parents
can very will imprint the male child with fear of emotions
watching Mom treated like a servant..
Gifts were seldom a surprise , request circumvented his either
ignoring the event , or a gift that had no rhythm or rhyme .
Adult men seldom transform this naturally, many
beaten into submission by a spouse who threatens
using kids as leverage .. a huge mistake , for
seldom does a man romance or honor a woman
wife who ” mothers ” him.. the nurture of each
should be the bridge ..
The unpaid job men still don’t understand.
— Read on www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/