Tag: Children

Fear your children believe they stayed attached Narcissist

When You’re Afraid Your Child Will Believe the Narcissist’s Version of You

There’s a fear that keeps you up at night.

Not the fear of doing this alone.

Not even the fear of starting over.

But the fear that one day… your child will believe the version of you that the other parent has created.

The exaggerated stories.

The twisted narratives.

The subtle digs disguised as jokes.

The lies wrapped in just enough truth to sound believable.

You hear your child repeat things you never said.

You see the hesitation in their eyes, wondering who to trust.

And it breaks something in you.

Because you’ve spent years becoming the parent you needed. You’ve poured your whole heart into showing up with honesty, grace, and consistency. And still—there’s this ache… that all of that could be undone by someone who’s more interested in control than connection.

But here’s what’s true:

Time tells the truth.

Your child may not see it now.

They may be swayed by charm or confusion or fear of upsetting the wrong person.

But one day, they’ll notice.

They’ll notice who picked them up on the hard days.

Who listened instead of lectured.

Who stayed soft when it would’ve been easier to shut down.

They’ll see the difference between love that performs and love that protects.

So keep going.

Keep showing up with steady love and quiet truth.

You don’t have to fight for your child’s loyalty—just be the safe place they’ll always come back to when the masks fall.

And when they ask the hard questions later?

You’ll have something the other parent never will:

A clear heart and a life that proves your love.

Mom’s wisdom

My mom did not sleep. She felt exhausted. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter. She was always sick until one day, suddenly, she changed.

One day my dad said to her:

– I’ve been looking for a job for three months and I haven’t found anything, I’m going to have a few beers with friends.

My mom replied:

– It’s okay.

My brother said to her:

– Mom, I’m doing poorly in all subjects at the University.

My mom replied:

– Okay, you will recover, and if you don’t, well, you repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.

My sister said to her:

– Mom, I smashed the car.

My mom replied:

– Okay daughter, take it to the car shop & find out how to pay and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway.

Her daughter-in-law said to her:

– Mother-in-law, I came to spend a few months with you.

My mom replied:

– Okay, settle in the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet.

All of us gathered worried to see these reactions coming from Mom.

We suspected that she had gone to the doctor and that she was prescribed some pills called “I don’t give a damn”… Perhaps she was overdosing on these!

We then proposed to do an “intervention” w/my mother to remove her from any possible addiction she had to some anti-tantrum medication.

But then … she gathered us around her and my mom explained:

“It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life. It took me years to discover that my anguish, anxiety, my depression, my courage, insomnia & my stress, does not solve your problems but aggravate mine.

I am not responsible for the actions of anyone & it’s not my job to provide happiness but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that.

Therefore, I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one of you solve what corresponds to you.

I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, vibration, and neurolinguistic programming, and in all of them, I found a common denominator in them all…

I can only control myself, you have all the necessary resources to solve your own problems despite how hard they may be. My job is to pray for you, love on you, and encourage you but it’s up to YOU to solve them & find your happiness.

I can only give you my advice if you ask me & it depends on you to follow it or not. There are consequences, good or bad, to your decisions and YOU have to live them.

So from now on, I cease to be the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of your faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depositary of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.

From now on, I declare all independent and self-sufficient adults.

Everyone at my mom’s house was speechless.

From that day on, the family began to function better because everyone in the house knew exactly what it is that they needed to do.

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For some of us, this is hard because we’ve grown up being the caregivers and feeling responsible for others. As moms & wives, we are fixers of all things. We never want our loved ones to go through difficult things or to struggle. We want everyone to be happy.

But, the sooner we take that responsibility off of our shoulders & on to each loved one, the better we are preparing them to be MEsponsible.

We are not here on earth to be everything to everyone. Stop putting that pressure on yourself.

Much Love;

Charlyn

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