“Parents who try to punnish or coerce grandparents by witholding visitation defeat thier own child. Whenever there is a conflict between parents and grandparents, the child in the middle is likely to lose.
Some parents and grandparents get it wrong. It is not the parents’ or grandparents’ right over a child, it is a child’s right (and need) to have the love and access to both sets of grandparents without fear, guilt or conflict of loyalty.
A child must not be put in the position of taking sides. A major conflict between parents and grandparents teaches a child wrong lessons about parent-child relationships of grownups. Such a situation might have future repercussions for the quality of relationship the child might have with his parents or his or her own children in the future.” ~ Vijai Sharma, PhD
4.26.19: Conversations have an almost uncanny way of looping back to wellbeing and fitness today, no matter the direction you try to steer them. Perhaps there are some words of wisdom on those topics that you’re meant to hear in the repetitive mix. There are always more ways to squeeze healthy foods and activities into your lifestyle, and positively influence your family’s habits. Don’t ignore the proven benefits of stress reduction and sufficient rest. Dr. Sonya Friedman wrote, “The way you treat yourself sets the standards for others.”
Are today’s adult-children ignorant of the significance in multigenerational relationships? Has society evolved into a graceless culture that is living in The Age of Grace? Everything owned, every $1.00 in the bank, is valueless in comparison to those Grandparent and family moments that makes ones heart sing! Emptiness vs. Heaven on earth. We all can learn a lot from this article. It speaks volumes.
“My 16 year old son said he won’t see me this Christmas. He texted me to leave his present on his dad’s front porch and admitted his dad wants me to stay away. He asked me not to knock on the door. I was initially so mad I thought there was no way I’d give the gift but then I thought, it’s a gift, there should be no strings attached, I’ll leave it on the porch and at least my son may feel loved by me. I did it and guess what! He snuck out and gave me a big hug and told me he loved me! Going forward I’m going to keep trying to always take the high road in every interaction I can with my son and his father. It really paid off last night. That doesn’t mean I’ll let them be abusive toward me but for something like a gift…a gift is just a gift and if there’s a chance it could make my child feel loved I’m going to do anything I can to get it to him, even if it means leaving it on the porch.
I think I’m on to something…I’ve been thinking a lot about the advantages of taking the high road and self care. They’re the only two positive things I can do when it comes to my situation.
Wishing everyone peace and happy moments today.”
***
Parent with better outcome .
There has been no healing as holidays are leveraged , along with children. Not desirous of healing , of ending the nightmare of trauma bond , ignoring the emotional and psychological and physical consequences and retarding spiritual grown in a distortion to shut off the truth , the light , at all cost.
In 2 days the anniversary of his exit , to find happiness with another openly , proudly, in distorted union that ended after almost 20 years . United towards my complete destruction, winning at all cost to sons and I, fracturing the living connection , preferring the living grief and trauma of estrangement so secrets are safe .
It has been 8399 days
It has been 275.93 months
It has been 22.99 years
And it will be concluded this
year , legally offering healing
restoring balance .
I have no choice but self care.
Thankfully I have support I did
not have in 1998 .
The inability to accept
responsibility , relates to non
response and great harm
Distorted thinking allows them
rewrite history to escape
responsibility .
I am not crazy , but psychiatric
“Care” induced trauma as I
lived hell on earth and our sons
were unionized in my
destruction in the perpetual
darkness of a projector,
unhealded trauma victim
who must have allies to do his
dirty work .
I am spiritually killing what’s
killing me
I have stopped trying , there is no reciprocation of anything positive unless information or trickery is involved .
I wasn’t favored for my inability to produce $1000 per son and a $1000 per grandchild which was stated before a judge for ” His” family .
Judge didn’t get the malignant distorted, abuse within that ego based power control so keep things as they are , devalue my word , my essence .
On December 25th Venus, the planet of love is Conjunct Pluto, the planet of transformation.
For the past few days we may have been feeling nostalgic, sentimental, emotionally overwhelmed and even consumed by our thoughts and emotions at times. We might have noticed we are feeling passionately and magnetically attracted toward those we are romantically closest to. Also significant connections from the past could make an unexpected return, in particular those with whom we never received closure.
**This conjunction brings extremely intense energies that will directly impact how we perceive ourselves, along with how we view our personal and most intimate relationships. This can mean connections will either feel like a battlefield or nirvana right now and these energies will continue to be heightened over the next 48 hours.
One of the main ways we may have been affected by the Venus/Pluto energy over this past week is through feeling the need for affection, attention, validation and commitment far more than normal. We may have been craving communication or closeness with those we are closest to and might have noticed we have felt rejected or vulnerable when we haven’t gotten the the response we hoped for.
**We have possibly even started to notice where there are imbalances, for example, where there is unrequited love or where one person is making far more effort than the other. We may also suddenly realise that we are in a dynamic with someone who is extremely manipulative, controlling or dominating and it is also possible that we suddenly become aware of our own controlling, compulsive or domineering ways.
**During this time we may become aware that we, or others, have been playing mind games in order to gain a reaction or attention or even test the other’s person’s love or loyalty. This means there may have been noticaeble switching between being attentive and affectionate and then suddenly distant and disinterested, for no apparent reason.
**It is likely that any areas of our life where the energies are unhealthy, where there are suppressed resentments or where there are constant power struggles will have been brought to our attention over and over until we fully recognise that certain people are not healthy for us to be around.
**One of the main reasons we have been confronted with these power plays is so we realise that we have become far too reliant on how other people treat us or perceive us and that is having a direct impact on our self-worth and self-esteem. Too often we allow other people to project their insecurities onto us, thus leaving us feeling insecure and unworthy and causing immense internal suffering, rather than realising we are actually embodying other people’s perceptions of themselves.
***We are being alerted to relationships where the energies are unreciprocated so that we recognise where we are accepting far, far less from certain people than what we give, while also caught in a cycle of feeling abandoned and desperately seeking their approval.
Both Venus and Pluto together can bring out our shadow side when it comes to relationships, therefore it is possible we will be feeling irrational, insecure, jealous and possessive at times and be hoping that other people will heal these wounds. However, particularly this week, for some of us, it won’t matter how much anyone else tries to fill our cup, we will still feel an emptiness on the inside. This is why it is vital for us to understand the importance of learning that we don’t need anyone or anything else in order for us to validate and value ourselves.
Venus allows us to look at the ways our self-worth is affected by other people’s opinions of us, or through whether we are financially healthy or not, and various other superficial factors. **Generally, it helps us see how external sources have been dependent on whether we feel valued or undervalued, worthy or unworthy and how vital it is to find value and worth internally.
Pluto, the farthest planet in the solar system, can cause us to feel isolate and lonely, so it may make us feel like withdrawing for a period of time to process these intense energies.** Pluto also helps us cleanse and purge outdated and unhealthy behaviours, pattens and belief systems and to recognise where we have unhealthily high expectations, while Venus works to help us recognise where we are appreciated and also where we are allowing other people’s words and actions to value ourselves. In Venus’ energy we will also notice where our confidence is low and how we can rebuild self-worth and become fulfilled with self-love.
Venus Conjunct Pluto will take us through a dramatic transformation where we will gain a greater understanding of love and start to see with clarity how everyone has their own unique love language. We are going to gain insight into how we need to be loved and also how we show love to others.
Everyone gives and receives love in different ways, so what may look like love on the surface may not actually be love at all, and where we think we aren’t cared for or appreciated – we may be deeply loved. Most of all we are going to learn that we might not be feeling love from others purely because we haven’t been fully loving ourselves – particularly if we have been badly burned in the past.
This is the time to let go of all pre-conceived notions of love and to submerge ourselves in divine unconditional love of ourselves. Pluto is telling us to surrender the past and heal and Venus is telling us it is time to trust in love and accept we are worthy, valuable and deserving of it all.**
*Relationships of all kinds will be going through a transformation where they will either become far deeper, fulfilling and more meaningful or a light will be shown on where we are holding on to fantasy and illusions or where we have become involved in a destructive, unhealthy or unsatisfying dynamic.
*Over these next few days it will begin to become imminently clear who we value, who value and loves us unconditionally and who it is time to untangle from and finally let go.
Overall our perception of love is about to radically change and we will begin to see how trust issues and fear of loss and rejection has held us back from love for far too long, not only with others but ultimately from giving and receiving that love within ourselves. Alex Myles
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 