“My 16 year old son said he won’t see me this Christmas. He texted me to leave his present on his dad’s front porch and admitted his dad wants me to stay away. He asked me not to knock on the door. I was initially so mad I thought there was no way I’d give the gift but then I thought, it’s a gift, there should be no strings attached, I’ll leave it on the porch and at least my son may feel loved by me. I did it and guess what! He snuck out and gave me a big hug and told me he loved me! Going forward I’m going to keep trying to always take the high road in every interaction I can with my son and his father. It really paid off last night. That doesn’t mean I’ll let them be abusive toward me but for something like a gift…a gift is just a gift and if there’s a chance it could make my child feel loved I’m going to do anything I can to get it to him, even if it means leaving it on the porch.
I think I’m on to something…I’ve been thinking a lot about the advantages of taking the high road and self care. They’re the only two positive things I can do when it comes to my situation.
Wishing everyone peace and happy moments today.”
Parent with better outcome .
There has been no healing as holidays are leveraged , along with children. Not desirous of healing , of ending the nightmare of trauma bond , ignoring the emotional and psychological and physical consequences and retarding spiritual grown in a distortion to shut off the truth , the light , at all cost.
In 2 days the anniversary of his exit , to find happiness with another openly , proudly, in distorted union that ended after almost 20 years . United towards my complete destruction, winning at all cost to sons and I, fracturing the living connection , preferring the living grief and trauma of estrangement so secrets are safe .
It has been 8399 days
It has been 275.93 months
It has been 22.99 years
And it will be concluded this
year , legally offering healing
restoring balance .
I have no choice but self care.
Thankfully I have support I did
not have in 1998 .
The inability to accept
responsibility , relates to non
response and great harm
Distorted thinking allows them
rewrite history to escape
I am not crazy , but psychiatric
“Care” induced trauma as I
lived hell on earth and our sons
were unionized in my
destruction in the perpetual
darkness of a projector,
unhealded trauma victim
who must have allies to do his
dirty work .
I am spiritually killing what’s
I have stopped trying , there is no reciprocation of anything positive unless information or trickery is involved .
I wasn’t favored for my inability to produce $1000 per son and a $1000 per grandchild which was stated before a judge for ” His” family .
Judge didn’t get the malignant distorted, abuse within that ego based power control so keep things as they are , devalue my word , my essence .
Spiritual Warfare at its highest .
What began with promise and
much speed in 76, with an
engagement ring , his request
to keep it quiet ..as it was less
than a month at Christmas
became his had to marry me
because of our sacred beautiful
baby conceived 3 months
after marriage in March 77.
Again lack of responsibility on
his part , projecting and
targeting me .
Awareness that he prefers I
take my life has been clarified
many times .
Blessings & Peacr