Tag: abuse narcissistic behavior

Narcissist Personality -Charlie McCready

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterised by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. People with NPD often have an inflated sense of self-importance and may exaggerate their achievements or talents. They may also display arrogant or haughty behaviours, believing themselves superior to others. In the context of parenting, and specifically ‘parental alienation’, narcissistic traits can significantly impact both the parent-child relationship and the family dynamic as a whole. ⁠

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Here’s how these traits may manifest in an alienating parent:⁠

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Grandiosity and Entitlement: An alienating parent with NPD may believe they are the only parent capable of meeting the child’s needs or providing love and support. They may feel entitled to the child’s affection and loyalty, viewing themselves superior to the other parent. An alienating parent may denigrate or belittle the other parent in front of the child, attempting to diminish their importance and elevate their own status.⁠

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Lack of Empathy: People with NPD often struggle to empathise with others’ feelings and experiences. An alienating parent may disregard the child’s emotional well-being and prioritise their own desires, using manipulation or coercion to control the child’s thoughts and actions.⁠

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Manipulative Behaviour: Narcissistic people are skilled manipulators. An alienating parent may use many tactics (mentioned in many of my posts) and employ these strategies to undermine the child’s relationship with the other parent, creating false narratives to justify their actions.⁠

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Need for Admiration: Alienating parents with NPD may seek constant validation and admiration from their children, expecting unwavering loyalty and devotion. They may become enraged or resentful if the child shows affection or allegiance to the other parent, viewing it as a threat to their own sense of self-worth.

Difficulty with Boundaries: People with NPD may struggle to respect boundaries or recognise the autonomy of others. An alienating parent will typically disregard the child’s need for a healthy relationship with both parents, monopolising the child’s time and attention to fulfill their own needs.

In summary, narcissistic traits can significantly influence the behaviour of an alienating parent, leading them to prioritise their own desires and manipulate the child’s perceptions to maintain control. If I can help you, beyond my posts, with my 9-step programme or coaching, please reach out.

Charlie McCready – An Alienated child doing what it takes to protect the favored parent

An alienated child will often feel a deep-seated need to protect the favoured parent, even at the expense of their own well-being and the relationship with the other parent. This phenomenon can be understood through the lens of “identification with the aggressor,” where the child adopts the attitudes and behaviours of the alienating parent as a means of survival. Similarly, it can also be likened to “trauma bonding,” a psychological phenomenon where people develop strong emotional attachments to their abusers as a means of coping with it.⁠

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Despite being presented with evidence of lies or coercion by the alienating parent, the child may still make excuses for their behaviour. They may defensively claim, “But I don’t love them any less,” or assert that both parents are equally to blame for the conflict. This response serves to validate their choices and behaviours, allowing them to maintain a sense of control and security in a tumultuous situation. This response is often a result of prolonged exposure to manipulation and psychological coercion by the alienating parent. Over time, the child internalises the false narrative created by the alienator, leading them to defend and justify their actions to preserve their sense of identity and security.⁠

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As the targeted parent, it’s natural to feel outraged, disappointed, frustrated, and dismayed by this. However, responding with explanations or pleas for understanding may only serve to exacerbate things, which you do not want. The child is unlikely to be (immediately) receptive to alternative perspectives, as their loyalty to the alienating parent has been deeply ingrained through time, manipulation and emotional coercion. Instead, it’s essential for the targeted parent to maintain their composure and simply speak their truth, expressing their love and willingness to reconnect whenever the child is ready. By avoiding confrontation, you can create a space for healing and reconciliation in the future, when the child is ready to confront the truth of their situation.⁠

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A parent recited this parental ‘Contract ‘ – Mind Blowing

Over the past decade, my ex-partner has alienated my twins from me on two occasions, resulting in me losing over three years with them. Throughout this period, I endured numerous court fees, false allegations, and emotional distress. Despite these challenges, I never gave up and ultimately emerged victorious in the final hearing. My teenage sons, who have witnessed the chaos and her narcissistic tendencies firsthand, now desire to live with me. In a surprising turn of events, she has offered to let them live with me. Here is the proposal she has presented…🤣

Pathological Narcissist

Pathologically narcissistic personalities can be found in all walks of life. The most damaging, in my opinion, are those who are in ‘helping’ positions, in which actual victims, in understandably vulnerable moments, have a chance of encountering them.
Be aware and beware that covert narcs can most certainly be in fields of counseling or therapy, DV advocate positions, and similar. They will most certainly perpetuate further damage upon real victims.
I just had one claiming to be in such fields disagree with a statement that I had made, who was awfully concerned over wanting to throw their ‘credentials’ in my face (while assuming I had no such credentials as I do not flaunt for ego nor use for leverage), while also trying to bait me into arguing by throwing certain accusations my way. I saw the red flags very clearly. I will not respond to such things, here. Or anywhere. I simply block such individuals.
Do not allow credentials, professional status, ‘helper’ status, or the like to make you think that another is automatically a safe space. I understand how challenging it can be to trust our intuition when we are in such vulnerable states, but if something feels off to you, please trust it.
Most especially with narcissistic abuse becoming such a hot topic, some dark personalities & coverts will be trying to find ways to profit and render power & control. They will be using the actual victims of the abuse as their supply, which is absolutely disgusting and unethical.

.©️2023 Holding The Space: A Path of Insight for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse