Tag: trauma

To someone who hurt someone so deeply

Who left trauma that was negated, who wasn’t accountable, who knows exactly what they did, and whose true colours and who you really are were revealed in the way that you showed no remorse at all for what you know you did.

Who showed no empathy, and no compassion for how you made the person who loved you and was dedicated to you feel.

Here’s what you need to understand…

They don’t want to meet you again.

In fact, they never even want to hear your name ever again.

They don’t even want to cross paths with you, even if by some miracle you do realise that you need to change and you end up becoming the best version of yourself.

Because the damage that you left behind and that you negated was so great, and so difficult to heal from.

Because they remember how you made them feel, how your actions destroyed their heart, their worth, and their faith and trust in you time and time again.

They remember how many times they had to beg you for the very basics; for your time, your communication, your respect, your compassion, your loyalty and commitment, your appreciation, and someone who could just be a safe space for them; but you gave them none of this.

All you gave them was pain, your chaos, your drama, and in the end your total destruction of who they were before they met you.

They are tired of your lies, they are tired of your endless manipulation and gaslighting that you refuse to acknowledge, and they don’t want to give you another chance to try and manipulate them again.

They don’t want to remember any part of the past they shared with you, because they realise now that none of it was real anyway.

So please if you happen to see them somewhere, don’t say hello, don’t ask them how they’re doing, don’t call out their name, just leave them alone and forget that you even ever knew each other.

They gave you love, when you gave them distance and pain.

Your actions have left scars so deep, scars that may never fully heal, because all you did to the person who loved you with everything they had, and who you convinced that they could trust you and feel safe with you; all you did was show them just how very unsafe the really were, and how very little you really cared.

You’re strangers again, and that’s the way they want things to remain.

So please, forget their name, forget that you even knew each other, and move on and enjoy the rest of your life.

They deserve better than you, they’ve remembered their worth again, and they no longer want to hear your name, hear your voice, or see your face ever again.

Their only hope after all of your disrespect, pain, lies, chaos, destruction, damage, and trauma you’ve caused, is that you can at least understand this because they know you understand and know full well exactly what you did…

#brokenness #inspirational #motivational #storyteller #everyone

Charlie McCready- Lawyers $$$$

Does anyone care to comment? When I have more time, I’d like to gather more data on what alienated parents have actually experienced in the family court system. How long did it take? What was the outcome? How much money was spent? Did it lead to reunification? If the court ordered contact, was it enforced—and if so, how did that go?⁠

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Alienated parents often pour their life savings into a legal system they once believed would protect their rights and their children’s well-being—only to emerge financially drained, emotionally shattered, and, in many cases, no closer to justice.⁠

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This highlights the urgent need for reform. Lawyers dealing with these cases should be trained to recognise attachment disordered parental alienation – the false narratives and coercive, manipulative behaviours that drive it. The legal system must do better, not only for parents who are being erased from their children’s lives but, most importantly, for the children themselves—caught in a battle they never chose.⁠

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Perhaps we expect too much. Perhaps we should know better by now. After all, injustice isn’t confined to family courts or parental alienation. Look at the wider world—those who commit crimes often walk free, while those who expose them suffer the consequences. The alienated parent is no different: seeking truth in a system that too often fails to protect the innocent while enabling the abuse.⁠

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I don’t mean to sound cynical. I try to stay focused on solutions. But we shouldn’t have to ‘fight’ to see our own children in a court of justice—because we are not criminals. We are parents. Parental alienation isn’t simply a legal matter; it’s a psychological and relational issue—one that the law is often ill-equipped to handle. And for many, prolonged legal action is not only financially impossible but also emotionally destructive. While sometimes necessary, court should be a last resort, used only when every other effort to protect a child’s well-being has been exhausted.

If you are going through what’s commonly known as ‘parental alienation’, know you’re not alone. I’ve been through it myself. Personally and professionally, I have over 20 years of experience. I am reunited with my children and here to offer support with daily posts on social media and also with the coaching I offer. Feel free to reach out to me anytime.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#alienatedchild

Narcissist: unable to love- Charlie McCready

Narcissistic alienating parents are characterised by a self-centred, manipulative, and exploitative nature. They prioritise their own needs, desires, and self-image above the well-being of others, including their children. Here are some key points:

Lack of empathy: Narcissistic individuals often struggle with empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. They have difficulty recognising and validating the emotional experiences of their children or anyone else in their lives. Their focus is primarily on themselves and their own needs.

Manipulative and controlling behaviour: Narcissistic parents tend to manipulate and control those around them to maintain a sense of power and superiority. They may use tactics such as gaslighting, guilt-tripping, emotional manipulation, and coercive control to assert dominance and maintain control over their children.

Exploitation of relationships: They view relationships as opportunities for personal gain rather than genuine connections based on mutual care and support. They may exploit their partner’s and their children’s love and loyalty to serve their own agenda, using them as extensions of themselves rather than recognising their autonomy and individual needs. This also goes for other family members and work associates, in fact, anyone in their lives.

Lack of genuine love and care: Narcissistic individuals struggle to experience and express genuine love and care for others. Their primary focus is obtaining admiration, attention, and validation. As a result, their relationships, including those with their children, lack the depth, emotional connection, and authentic care that healthy relationships require.

Superficial charm and manipulation: They often appear charming, charismatic, and even loving in the early stages of a relationship. However, their behaviour tends to be manipulative, self-serving, and inconsistent over time. Their actions are primarily driven by a need for control, admiration, and validation rather than genuine care and concern.

They lose interest when someone no longer ‘serves’ them. When someone calls out their behaviour, they’ll go on the attack to protect their interests/lies. It’s important to recognise that not all alienating parents are narcissistic, and not all narcissistic parents engage in parental alienation. But when these two dynamics intersect, the results can harm and damage the child’s well-being and the parent-child relationship.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#narcissisticparent

#traumabonding

Disordered Pathogenic Parenting – Charlie McCready

In many cases (though not all of course), the alienating parent operates from a place of deep-seated emotional neediness rooted in their own childhood experiences. If they lacked sufficient love and secure attachment during their formative years, they may have developed an attachment style characterised by anxiety or insecurity. This void creates an overwhelming desire for their child to fulfil unmet emotional needs—an expectation for unwavering loyalty and affection.⁠

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In this dynamic, the child becomes a vessel for the parent’s unresolved trauma and unfulfilled desires. The alienating parent may project their need for love onto the child, expecting them to provide the unconditional support and affirmation they missed out on. This demand can manifest as controlling or possessive behaviour, where the parent subtly or overtly communicates that love and loyalty come with conditions: to reject, demonise, or distance themselves from the other parent. Truly a cruel thing to inflict on a child – some do this unconsciously, others quite deliberately. ⁠

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For the child, if they do not comply or fail to provide the desired level of loyalty, it may trigger the alienating parent’s fear of abandonment and inadequacy. They might respond with manipulation, guilt, or emotional coercion, reinforcing the notion that the child’s love is contingent upon rejecting the other parent. The underlying message is clear: the child must choose sides and prioritise the alienating parent’s needs or risk losing the affection and approval they crave. Again, this is disordered, pathogenic parenting. ⁠

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Ultimately, this creates a toxic cycle of dependence and alienation, where the child feels torn between their natural bond with both parents and the appalling expectations imposed by the alienating parent. It undermines the child’s sense of autonomy, fosters confusion, and cultivates a skewed perception of love—one that is contingent on loyalty rather than the unconditional acceptance and support that every child deserves.⁠

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#alienatedchild

Charlie McCready -The Reality of Parental alienation

This post will resonate with those who understand the reality of what’s commonly known as parental alienation. The alienator is skilled and practised in telling us that we no longer have children, that we don’t deserve to see them, that we’re no good. If they can say such shocking, untrue things to us, just imagine the false narratives they are feeding others—and, most devastatingly, our children. And why? In short, and for the vast majority of us, it’s simply and most devastatingly, to punish us. In doing so, they are also punishing the children, tearing them away from a loving, willing, and available parent.They distort the child’s thinking, erode their beliefs, and attack any real connection.The divorce has nothing to do with the children, yet the alienator will try to turn an ex-partner into an ex-parent. This is not love. This is not healthy. This is disordered, selfish, and psychologically abusive behaviour.

Knowing the truth about the alienator and their behaviours doesn’t bring our children back, but it’s important to understand the pathology. It’s also vital not to react to their provocations and abuse, however tempting it may be. Because, at present, ‘parental alienation’ is not recognised as abuse in its own right. While coercive control, one of the alienator’s favoured methods, is recognised in many jurisdictions as abuse, mental health and legal professionals still focus on what is deemed ‘in the child’s best interests’. But when the child is indoctrinated, terrorised, and made to feel unloved/abandoned, their voice is no longer authentic. This is not a genuine expression of their will—it’s the result of manipulation/coercive control (abuse). It’s akin to Stockholm Syndrome, or even brainwashing. Still, the result of the indoctrination is what the experts often focus on when making their decisions, and to further complicate matters, false allegations are often thrown into the mix to delay progress.

Even though the child is coerced into aligning with the alienating parent, this was never their choice. If they had made this decision freely, it would be ‘estrangement,’ and some form of natural separation from home/parents is part of growing up, especially during adolescence. But children ideally want healthy relationships with both parents—not just with the bullying, alienating, and coercively controlling one. This is their right. Denying them this is abuse in itself.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#divorce

#divorced

#custody

Holy War

This gave me full body chills…

“👁️ Did you ever wonder why the baby’s taken across the room? Why the cord is clamped fast, the mother left shaking, the lights so bright it feels like judgment?

Did you ever feel the stillness—the eerie quiet when the father’s hands are empty, the grandmother’s not in the room, and the newborn is nowhere near a breast?

It’s not just medicine.

It’s not just policy.

It’s a ritual.

And it’s not ours.

🧬 They inject pig-derived Pitocin to mimic the hormone God designed to flood a woman’s brain in labor. But it doesn’t reach the brain. It only contracts the body.

The love doesn’t flow.

The imprint doesn’t land.

The bonding doesn’t seal.

Just pressure. Just force.

💉 Synthetic love.

⚡ Counterfeit release.

🧠 Neurological silence.

And while the woman is watched but not touched, while the baby is wiped but not suckled, while the father is praised for being “supportive” but not leading—

they cut the thread.

👶 The mother-baby dyad was made to reflect divine intimacy. To pass down trust, peace, protection.

But when it’s broken—

the body remembers.

The child stores the grief.

The mother learns disconnection.

The father fades from view.

That’s how it starts. But it doesn’t end there.

Then come the bottles.

The cribs.

The high chairs.

The eight-hour separations called school.

The praise of independence that is really just early detachment.

The lie that the nuclear family is enough. That Mom runs the home. That Dad is just for weekends. That children are safest raised by strangers in buildings funded by gods they do not know.

🕳️ We are not looking at broken systems.

We are looking at precision-engineered fragmentation.

And you feel it. You’ve felt it all along.

That something was taken before you could name it.

That someone was missing even while you were being told you had “everything you need.”

But listen: the lie only wins if we let it.

And we won’t.

We are pulling the babies back to the breast.

We are restoring the mother’s voice in the birth room.

We are putting grandmothers back at the table.

We are praying over the placenta.

We are keeping them close at night.

We are burning the counterfeit and walking in the design.

This is not soft work.

It is a holy war”

– written upon the heart of almost every midwife

– author – Cardinal Birth Midwifery Service

Controlling the Child to harm the other parent./Charlie McCready

An alienating parent is not providing unconditional love. They are controlling and behaving selfishly. A loving parent does not work towards eliminating the other parent, a loving, available, good parent (and often their extended family, too), from the child’s life because that is definitely not in the child’s best interests. In contrast, a ‘target’ (alienated/rejected) parent often ‘lets go’ because they love SO MUCH. This act of ‘letting go’ (or necessary detachment) is a powerful demonstration of genuine love because this parent refuses to play the alienating parent’s tug of war game if it creates further trauma and harm to their child. This is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Fear and control and anger, coercive control, indoctrination, lies and ‘brainwashing’ are not loving behaviours. The child is confused and enmeshed by the twisted narratives and lies they hear, and cognitive dissonance and splitting are coping mechanisms, as is their anger. The (alienated) children would like nothing more than for their parents to coexist and co-parent amicably, fostering a healthy environment for everyone’s mental and emotional well-being so they can get on with their lives. Even if parental harmony remains elusive, the toll of ongoing conflict on a child’s mental health is undeniable. Unfortunately, the alienating parent often remains indifferent to this toll. Unfortunately, they literally don’t care. However, as the child matures, they may come to realise the destructive nature of these actions, prompting a journey toward understanding, forgiveness, and healing. It’s of paramount importance to be strong, stay loving, and not succumb to angry, provoked reactions. Near or far, be the healthy-minded parent in the child’s life. Even if there’s no contact at the moment, focus on being happy, on being there whenever the child/adult knocks on your door again.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedparent

#narcissisticparent

#gaslighting

#emotionalabuse

Cheaters

“It’s easy for a man to walk away when he already been cheating…” Whew. That line alone carries so much weight. Because once someone’s already been stepping out—emotionally, physically, or even mentally—they been gone. Their body might still be around, but their mind and heart checked out a long time ago. So when they finally leave, it don’t hurt them the way it breaks you, because they’ve already grieved the relationship in silence, behind your back. They just waited until it was convenient to make it official.

But a faithful man? A man who gave you his all, who saw forever in your eyes, who looked at you and saw his peace, his purpose, his person? He won’t walk away that easy. Not without a fight. Not without trying to fix it, talk it out, meet you halfway—even if it hurts. Because you were his home. His comfort. His best friend. That kind of man isn’t quick to let go of something he values. He knows how hard it is to find someone who matches his loyalty, his heart, his effort. He knows.

And that’s the difference. When a man is truly invested, he’s not looking for the nearest exit the moment things get hard. He doesn’t treat commitment like a pair of shoes he can just slip off when it gets uncomfortable. He’s in it—really in it. And even if things fall apart, you’ll never question if he cared, because his love left no room for doubt.

That’s why it hits so different. Because deep down, we all want that kind of loyalty. The kind that doesn’t flinch when life gets real. The kind that doesn’t make you beg to be chosen. So if he walked away without trying, without fighting, without even turning back—it’s not because you weren’t enough.

It’s because he never was. 💔