Tag: trauma

Responsibility for the damage

When You’re the One Who Did the Fucking Damage
By Zen Prem

I didn’t break her heart.
I just drained her soul over time and called it a phase.

She asked for connection.
I rolled my eyes and gave her a fucking TED Talk on why she shouldn’t need it.

It’s easy to talk about being betrayed.
But what about when you were the one holding the match?

I didn’t cheat. I didn’t scream. I just withheld. I just made her feel like she was too much, too often. And then called her unstable

I was the one who made her question her sanity, not by screaming or storming out, but by going quiet.
By deflecting. By saying, “You’re overreacting,” when she was just trying to make sense of the way my eyes started disappearing long before my body did.

I was the man who said all the right things
while living like a walking contradiction.
The man who called her paranoid for checking my phone while I was out there building back-up plans on dating apps
I swore I’d deleted.

The man who said, “Of course I love you,”
but couldn’t sit in the room for five minutes when she cried.

And when she finally stopped trying?
When she went quiet?
I had the audacity to call her cold.

I used to think betrayal had to look like a one night stand. Something obvious.
Something Hollywood.

I thought I was being “conscious” because I didn’t rage or cheat.
But you can ghost someone while living in the same house

Because the truth is that sometimes betrayal is just not showing the fuck up.

It’s apathy. It’s absence. It’s the moment she needed reassurance and I gave her logic. It’s when she reached for me and I reached for my excuses.

And then I had the balls to be confused
about why she couldn’t bounce back.
Why she didn’t trust me the same.
Why she hesitated when I touched her.

But trust isn’t a switch.It’s a nervous system. And once you’ve made someone feel unsafe, you don’t get to ask them to be soft on your schedule.

You don’t get to stab someone emotionally
and then rush their recovery because it’s inconvenient for you to sit in the discomfort you created.

So if you’re reading this thinking,
“Shit. I was him,”

good.

That’s the start.

But don’t rush in to fix it with fucking flowers and promises. Don’t perform guilt hoping to speed past the part where she doesn’t believe a fucking word you say.

Don’t fucking bullshit yourself.

Sit in it.
Hold it.
Earn her safety back, … if she even wants you to.

Because real repair isn’t about the right apology. … It’s about becoming someone who doesn’t need to apologise again.

And sometimes you don’t get to be forgiven.
Sometimes she heals, and never fucking looks back.

You don’t get her back.

You just get the lesson.

By Zen Prem (Noah David)

https://mybook.to/BeyondBullshitToBliss

Co-author of Beyond Bullshit To Bliss
with Samantha Spiro

BeyondBullshitToBliss #Love #Peace

Childhood trauma & nervous systems

New studies show that childhood trauma can rewire the brain and nervous system, leading to lasting changes in emotional regulation and physical health. Areas like the amygdala and prefrontal cortex are deeply affected, often causing anxiety, hypervigilance, or chronic illness in adults. Healing is possible through neuroplasticity and trauma-informed therapies.

#MentalHealthMatters #ChildhoodTrauma #BrainScience #HealingJourney #Neuroplasticity

Man cannot handle the same hurt he gives a woman

A man can’t handle the same hurt he gives a woman—and that’s a truth most won’t admit.

She cries. Breaks down. Questions herself. Holds on longer than she should. Tries to make it work even when her heart is breaking. She carries pain in silence, forgives what she shouldn’t, and still hopes he’ll change. She fights with herself trying to understand how someone she loved so deeply could cause so much damage.

And when she finally walks away?

It’s only after carrying far more than anyone ever should.

But him?

The moment he feels a fraction of the same pain—a missed text, an unanswered call, a shift in energy—he’s spiraling. Angry. Hurt. Accusing.

He made her feel invisible… but can’t stand being ignored for a second. He gave her silence, but can’t handle it himself. He broke her trust—but suddenly, every small distance feels like betrayal.

Because when a woman starts mirroring his energy, he has no choice but to face himself. And that reflection? It’s too heavy. Too real.

Men want women to absorb pain without breaking—like strength is endless in her, while they give nothing back.

But here’s the truth:

Just because she carried it doesn’t mean it was light.

She was strong—not because she wanted to be alone—but because she had no other option.

So yes.

Men say “she changed.”

But really?

She just got tired of feeling everything—and getting nothing in return.

Alienate – Charlie McCready

Parental alienation is a harrowing, vengeful form of psychological abuse, where one parent (sometimes with help from others) systematically erodes the attachment bonds of the child with their other ‘target’ parent. They actively sow seeds of doubt and misinformation, manipulating the thoughts and beliefs of innocent children against their own flesh and blood. It involves projecting the alienating parent’s own insecurities and faults onto the ‘target’ parent, creating a distorted reality for the child. Blame is shifted, and responsibility is deflected, all while the alienating parent gains control by isolating the alienated parent from family life. The result is a toxic environment where the child is emotionally torn, experiencing conflicting feelings due to the cognitive dissonance created by the stark contrast between the alienating parent’s manipulative narratives and the actual truth. This relentless psychological onslaught fractures trust, distorts reality, and inflicts deep emotional wounds, leaving all parties, especially the children, in a state of profound turmoil and confusion. There’s debate over the term ‘parental alienation’ and it could certainly be called pathogenic parenting, hostile aggressive parenting, intractable contact, narcissistic parenting, disordered parenting, malicious parent syndrome, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, domestic partner abuse, child psychological abuse, spousal abuse, domestic violence, family bond obstruction or child alienation … it is abuse by any other name.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedparent

#coercivecontrol

#parentalalienationischildabuse

#parentalalienationawareness

#parentalalienation

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#narcissisticparent

#parentalalienationisreal

#custodybattle

#custodybattle

#FamilyCourt

#ChildCustody