Best for the child ; parent it’s not about you

Many people preach the nuclear family staying together because they say it’s in the child’s best interest—no matter what.

They say divorce ruins kids.

They say single-parent homes are broken.

They speak with the eyes of judgment and the mouth of tradition—

as if staying together at all costs is the only version of love worth respecting.

But that mindset is dangerous.

Because it doesn’t consider the full picture.

It values structure over safety.

It protects the idea of family—

not the people inside it.

They’ll say:

“Two parents are better than one.”

“Kids need their mom and dad under the same roof.”

“You should’ve tried harder. Gotten counseling. Stayed together for the kids.”

And if you tell them, “My parents divorced and it was the best thing for me”—

they’ll say, “That’s not what you needed.”

As if they know more about your lived experience than you do.

As if your peace is irrelevant if it doesn’t fit their narrative.

But here’s what they don’t want to acknowledge:

Sometimes the family structure you’re trying so hard to preserve… is the very thing doing the damage.

A broken home isn’t defined by how many parents are in it.

It’s defined by what’s happening inside.

A broken home is constant tension, silent treatments, emotional manipulation, slamming doors, and withheld affection.

It’s walking on eggshells.

It’s a child becoming the emotional referee—or worse, the emotional sponge.

It’s two people who clearly should’ve separated but stayed out of guilt, fear, or pressure.

And from the outside?

Everything might look picture-perfect.

There are smiles in public.

Matching holiday outfits.

Social media posts that say “blessed.”

But inside, it’s performative.

Everyone plays a role.

Because if one person drops the act, someone pays for it.

That’s not a home.

That’s a stage.

And the performance is built on fear and image management.

Sometimes the pain isn’t just emotional.

Kids may not witness the violence directly—but they see the bruises.

They see the tears.

They feel the tension.

And sometimes, they do see it.

Sometimes, they even become the targets themselves.

And in the worst-case scenarios, it becomes fatal—not just for children, but for everyone involved.

But people will still say,

“At least the parents stayed together.”

As if proximity is more important than protection.

As if the illusion of unity matters more than the safety of everyone inside that home.

They say things like:

“That’s just what relationships are.”

“Marriage means working through hard seasons.”

“You don’t just leave because it gets tough.”

They call it loyalty.

They call it commitment.

But what they’re really asking is that you sacrifice your peace, your safety, and your sanity—just to protect an illusion.

Let’s be clear:

There’s a difference between working through a rough patch and living in a war zone.

If there’s something worth saving—go to therapy.

Fight for it.

Let your kids see what healing looks like.

But if it stays toxic?

Let them see what self-respect looks like too.

Because staying in something that causes constant pain isn’t love.

It’s slow self-destruction.

Some people think divorce is a failure.

But what they never talk about is what happens when you stay and it slowly breaks everyone inside.

Choosing to let go isn’t giving up.

It’s deciding to stop dragging your kids—and yourself—through pain that never ends.

Yes, there are times when letting go is the right call.

But only if you’re doing it for peace, not punishment.

Only if you’re ending the pain, not repackaging it.

Only if your kids remain the focus—not your anger, not your bitterness, and not your pride.

Because when divorce is handled with maturity and mutual respect,

it’s not a failure.

It’s growth.

It’s the moment two people realize the healthiest thing they can do

is stop hurting each other—

and start healing separately,

so their children don’t grow up thinking love looks like pain.

Sometimes, two people weren’t meant to spend a lifetime together.

Sometimes, the only purpose they served in each other’s lives was to bring a child into the world.

But when they choose peace over chaos,

when they co-parent with respect—

that’s not failure.

That’s strength.

That child gets to have both parents in their life—without absorbing the tension that used to live between them.

They get to see that love doesn’t always mean staying.

And endings don’t always mean absence.

In the best cases, they even gain a bonus parent—because mom or dad finds someone new

who brings more love, not more stress.

And even when distance exists, technology closes the gap.

Being a good parent isn’t about living in the same house.

It’s about showing up, being consistent, and being present in the moments that matter.

Children don’t need their parents to be romantically connected.

They need support.

They need stability.

They need to know they are safe, understood, and loved—by both.

And let’s not forget the single parents—

the ones who never planned to do it alone…

but do it anyway.

Some are single because the other person didn’t want to be a parent.

Some walked away from abuse, addiction, or emotional chaos.

And some didn’t walk away at all—

life made the decision for them

when the other parent passed away.

No matter how it happened,

they didn’t choose to carry the load alone—

but they carry it anyway.

They work long hours,

juggle multiple jobs,

miss sleep,

and skip meals—

just to hold their household together.

They’re the ride to school,

the homework help,

the late-night caregiver,

and the emotional anchor.

They absorb the tantrums, the guilt, the pressure, the fear.

They break down in private so their kids don’t have to.

They show up sick, overwhelmed, overworked—

and still manage to love out loud.

And still, they’re the ones judged the most.

People say:

“You should’ve picked better.”

“No wonder your kid struggles.”

“That child is missing something.”

But here’s the truth:

These homes aren’t broken.

They’re built on the back of one person

who had no backup,

no break,

and no other option—

just the guts

to do it anyway.

If you truly have the child’s best interest at heart…

then you should care about more than just keeping a family together for appearance’s sake.

You should care whether that child feels safe in their own home.

You should care whether they’re being emotionally supported,

whether they’re surrounded by love,

not silence, tension, fear, or resentment.

You should care about what they see,

what they absorb,

and what kind of “normal” they’re being taught to accept.

You should care about whether that child is being raised in peace—

not just raised in a house with two adults who can’t stand each other but refuse to separate.

You should care about whether they feel heard, protected, and emotionally stable—

not just whether both parents are still under the same roof.

Because “same roof” doesn’t always mean stability.

Sometimes, it means stress.

Sometimes, it means silence.

Sometimes, it means watching love rot in real time.

And sometimes, it means abuse.

And if you truly care about what’s best for the child,

then that should matter more than the image.

More than the structure.

More than what people will say.

Because here’s the truth:

Some people care about the child—

until it challenges what they believe.

They care,

until the solution doesn’t look like what they were raised to accept.

They care,

until it makes them uncomfortable.

Until it forces them to confront that a peaceful home with one parent

is better than a hostile home with two.

That’s when the caring stops.

So ask yourself this, honestly:

Do you care about what’s truly best for the child—

or just what looks better,

because it makes you feel better?

Because confronting reality makes you uncomfortable?

Because if emotional peace, protection, and healing

don’t matter more than tradition, guilt, and image control—

then stop saying it’s about the child.

It’s not.

It’s about you.

Family Court Nightmare for Mom

19 Year-Old Sues Family Court Officials for $250 Million for Taking Her Away from Mom; Giving Custody to Father

Defendants Include Lawyers, Social Workers, Evaluators, GAL’s

“The defendants conspired to deny Annelise access to the courts and intentionally inflicted emotional distress on Annelise while she was still a minor. Defendants knowingly interfered with Annelise’s constitutional right to a relationship with her mother and four siblings, causing inordinate stress and difficulty.”

– Dede Evavold, blogger at Red Herring Alert

Annelise Rice, a hockey player at UND [University of North Dakota] and graduate of Minnetonka High School, filed a lawsuit on March 17, 2017, in Minnesota federal court seeking damages for deprivation of civil rights by tortuous [sic] intervention [interference] in a mother-child relationship and deprivation of rights under color of the law (Civil Action No. 17-cv-796 ADM/HB).

…The defendants include court-appointed Guardians at litem, Social Workers, and lawyers who were involved in the custody evaluation and CHIPS (Child in Need of Protection or Services) proceedings for Annelise Rice.

…Judges, lawyers, and social workers no longer have absolute immunity and can be held responsible for their actions that deprive Constitutional rights, even if they are acting in an official role.

This case is highly unusual due to the large amount of defendants involved.

…Annelise asks the court for relief in an amount great enough to deter defendants and others in similar positions from engaging in this egregious misconduct in the future. There have been many cases of negligence by social services that have put young lives at risk.

Social workers, Guardians at litem, lawyers, and judges need to be held accountable to prevent further neglect, abuse, and deaths of children in protective care. This lawsuit could potentially turn into a class action suit, because of the amount of families that have been mistreated in this way. Contact: Annelise Rice at More.moxie@me.com

EXCERPTS from:

19 YEAR-OLD SUES FOR DEPRIVATION OF CIVIL RIGHTS

https://redherringalert.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/19-year-old-sues-for-deprivation-of-civil-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-863

SUMMARY:

Annelise’s mom, Caroline, went from being a stay-at-home mom to losing custody of her five children. When the father decided he wanted to take the kids away from his ex, family court officials, led by Judge Richard Perkins, kicked into gear and made that happen. Full custody was awarded to the father, even though the children testified to horrible physical abuse by him.

At one point, Annelise ran away from her father and fled to Canada with her mom, however they were caught and Caroline was jailed. Caroline was jailed three times in her many attempts to protect her children, and she was tormented there in an effort to break and silence her.

Judge Perkins presided over the prosecution of Caroline for “abduction”, which was a clear conflict of interest, and at which she, not surprisingly, was convicted. But the appellate court actually overturned her conviction citing Judge Perkins’ biased handling of the case, including exclusion of evidence of the father’s abuse from the jury. So there was some due process for Caroline at the appellate level, which is unusual.

The children have spoken about the pain of losing their mother for many years.

COALITION NOTE: The sheer number of court-affiliated officials whom Annelise is suing spotlights the systemic coordination to empower fathers to take custody of their children—and that is not an exhaustive list. There are likely many more professionals who participated. Most cases in which a mother is trying to keep or protect her children involves many court-affiliated professionals who go along with the agenda and help the father win custody—whether he is abusive or just wants to avoid child support.

It is unclear why Judge Richard Perkins is not included in the lawsuit, since the article asserts that judges can now be held accountable through these civil rights lawsuits, and especially since an appellate court found Judge Perkins to have been biased.

It is also unclear who the judge is on Annelise’s federal civil rights case. The docket states that it is Judge Ann Montgomery, but that it is referred to Judge Hildy Bowbeer. Hopefully, whoever it is will not dismiss the case and will make fair rulings.

Answers to Annelise’s complaint are due in June. Watch this space for updates.

Previous Safe Kids post:

Judge Richard Perkins Held Accountable for Covering Up Abuse!

Some of the story as told by Annelise’s older sister, Lauren

A Mother’s Love: Caroline Marie Halonen-Rice Jailed for Protecting her Children- In Her Daughter’s Own Words- a Plea for Help, for Justice for Love

[Pictured: Annelise and Caroline (top left); Judge Ann Montgomery (left middle); Judge Hildy Bowbeer (left bottom); Annelise (right)]

Harmful Dynamic of Parental Alienation on the child

Children subjected to the harmful dynamic known as parental alienation, exhibit distinct attitudes and behaviours. They become fixated on denigrating one parent, reciting numerous grievances, and treating that parent as if they hold no value. What’s even more concerning is that many deeply alienated children express desires for the parent’s demise or disappearance. Strikingly, they do so without any accompanying guilt or remorse for their hostile behaviour. Children who have experienced physical abuse, typically fear the person abusing them, adopting a compliant demeanour to avoid further harm. They do no such thing with the alienated parent they reject because they say they’re not safe, or unwelcome in their life – with no real justification for these accusations and a previously loving relationship. Often their reasons are trivial or irrational like disliking being asked to help around the house, or not swearing, or any other reasons which do not warrant the rejection and hatred. Again, this contrasts with abused children who can offer justifiable and real evidence for their aversion.

Ordinarily, children, especially in the teenage years, hold a mix of sentiments toward their parents, including both love and loathing. However, children subjected to parental alienation often lack ambivalence. They struggle to articulate anything positive about the alienated parent while protecting the preferred (alienating, abusive) parent with whom they are aligned and being indoctrinated. During parental disputes, these children instinctively side with their preferred parent and accept without question that parent’s allegations against the alienated parent. Their expressions of criticism often mirror the aligned parent’s grievances, even if they don’t fully understand the words and phrases used. This happens despite their insistence that their rejection of the parent is solely their own decision, unaffected by the parent they have been induced to favour.

As the alienation deepens, it extends beyond just the parent. It encompasses other family members and friends on the alienated parent’s side. Even hobbies and interests. Even pets. It is ‘hatred by association’. It is irrational and yet can become powerfully ingrained behaviour. It might be a cherished grandparent who they no longer want to see. It is tragic for all involved. The only person who might be considered a ‘winner’ is the alienating parent. ‘Winner’ is not a word to describe their behaviour. ‘Abuser’ is much more fitting.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienationawareness

#childrensrights

Ancient Warriors

Many of you are ancient Warriors , Templars with a mission of bringing unification on a planetary level , in the earth’s fabrics , grids , and organic vortexes that have been distorted for centuries.

I see the wounds many of you still carry within, and your courage to continue coming to Earth to complete the mission you once started.

A mission that consists of seeding the Wisdom that was attempted to be taken away from you , without knowing the Holy Grail was hidden within your unique Divine blueprint , for all is always within. The Wisdom of the Cathars, rather than being eradicated , continues among us , for it comes back with each and every one of you.

Due to the incessant wars to impede your mission , as Essenes and Cathars descendants , many of you carry profound traumatic memories embedded within your first , second , third chakras , sixth and seventh dimensional light body portals , for your unique unified template has been inserted with many fragmented holograms to separate what was pure in nature.

Your female was repressed for you not to feel , give , create , and heal. As your masculine was distorted and disconnected from the female to impose itself on the female , abusing its power and control over it.

Many of you have suffered from dreams remembering who you once were , reviving all the persecutions you have had while you carried the Sword of Truth , as Guides recently shared in a co-creation. Many of you are incessant warriors who have been constantly incarnating to help retrieve Earth’s original template.

Let the Emerald Ray of Creation restore your Cathar/Essene unique coding in your Heart , a unique light code similar to the original cross that was once manipulated by religions and by what is behind them.

Let the White Flame of Creation bathe your unified template , allowing its original coding to be restored , purified , and its wisdom retrieved.

Allow Love in to heal and reclaim who you are. Now it is safe to be who you are.

Today, you are free to be who you are, for many of you, as I often see, still carry repression, female distortions, false memories implanted within your mental body to remember someone you never were. Programs of guilt that do not allow you to move forward, and above all, programs of oblivion, which is the hardest one to clear, for you do not even remember who you are.

Now, planet earth is being assisted by many benevolent beings and Forces, as the Auroras, Venusians, Arcturians and so many others, that are helping you to remember, to live freely and to retrieve your Essene template, for you were born unified, as our beloved Jesus, Maria and Magdalene, for they all were a tribe of 12 unified beings supporting the planetary mission, to seed the lost female and masculine wisdom, as both are key in this plane to retrieve unity.

They carried a mission that today continues, in the Ethiopian lands, near Lake Tana, where lost knowledge still resides, hidden, for those who hold the codes to unlock its wisdom. In Egypt, for those who know where to look, among the many false programs in there reside. In the UK, France, and Canada, Calgary, for even though many believed the Essenes and Cathars to be extinguished, they emigrated and left their knowledge to their descendants.

Today, many of you continue with the mission of recoding many Earth’s templars, locations, and fabrics. There are new openings in France, Ethiopia, and other important areas. You will uniquely receive where to go or be next, for not all shall be exposed. You hold the genetic coding that allows you to be recognized by the location assigned to work with it and help in its restoration.

To those of you, whether Essenes or from any other lineage, thank you for your unique contribution! As I am blessed to see through many of you, there are many of you brave souls assisting this shift, and all of you working incessantly during many lifetimes in what we are now witnessing as a major planetary opening. Thank you for your devotion to serve Creation.

Your effort and willingness to seed more love, healing, and unity are immensely recognized, appreciated, and needed for our planet to continue its transition.

May you receive as many blessings as you are here to give.

May God’s Wisdom and Protection continue walking with you.

Within Infinite Love,

Natalia Alba

nataliaalba.com

Art by: Deepdiverq

Cathar personal session: https://www.nataliaalba.com/p/cathar-healing-session.html

Soul guidance: https://www.nataliaalba.com/p/soul-guidance_18.html

Personal sessions: https://www.nataliaalba.com/p/personal-sessions_13.html

Moms Breaking Cycles 🙌

To the moms breaking cycles they never asked to be part of.

To the ones learning how to feel, how to cry, how to forgive, all while raising babies who won’t have to carry the same weight.

I see you.

It’s not easy healing from what hurt you while showing up with love, patience, and softness for your kids.

It’s not easy being the first to say “this ends with me.”

But it is brave. It is powerful. It is world-changing.

Keep going, mama.

Every time you choose connection over control, every time you apologize, every time you pause to breathe…

You are doing the work that will ripple through generations.

And that matters more than you know.