Tag: Children

Invisible Trauma The Psychology of Parentification Binding Empaths

Wow , did this hit home! I come into a lot of folks who grew up as I did

being in charge and not knowing how. By age 18, I was very tired of having

near full charge of siblings , due to Mom’s working 11pm to 7am ..Alone

in the house with younger kids.. I tried to stay away from home at an early

age , but for years , younger brother tagging along . Some highly aggressive

occurrences red flagged his behavior, but I did not have a lot of reference

but it grew and grew , and finally it reached a point of no return .

Expected to be the responsible one in marriage , left little time for nurture.

After my Xanax breakdown, I felt very vulnerable , and at risk, with

concerns about stability as quickly as possible and mother our sons .

That necessitated trying to normalize and try to stabilize our foundation

thus pleasing X was very necessary .

I did not feel strong enough to go on with out him, feared him and his

retaliations. This developed into Parentification of our eldest , who

Deserved his childhood . Each of our sons deserved better .

I

youtube.com/live/vXcH_SefQno

‘Normal’parenting challenge for targeted parent

Many of us going through ‘parental alienation’ do not have the opportunity to show kindness or let our children know we love them. In this case, the boundaries are about self-preservation and not letting the sadness of the situation overwhelm us. It’s about drawing a line and saying ‘enough!’ We can keep knocking at a door, but unless it opens, we can die waiting or we can get on with our lives. That’s not to say we’ve given up trying, or that our door is closed. Our hearts, our doors are open. But we are getting on with being happy, and we are practising self-love. This is not selfishness. It’s not quitting. It is essential. ⁠

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Each step towards nurturing your well-being and asserting healthy boundaries is a testament to resilience and self-love amidst unimaginable pain. For those cut off from their children, boundaries may involve not subjecting yourself to mistreatment or allowing your worth to be defined by your alienated child’s actions. While the absence of contact with alienated children may limit direct opportunities to demonstrate kindness, you can still extend compassion to yourself. Putting up boundaries becomes an act of self-preservation, a means of safeguarding your emotional well-being in the face of adversity. By removing yourself from situations that trigger negative feelings, you can reclaim a sense of power and choice.⁠

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