Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

Learning you’re involved with a Narcissistic

Learning you’re involved with a narcissist quickly turns into an obsession that can destroy your life if left unchecked.

Take these common inquiries, for example:

Why does the narcissist lie, even when I have proof?

What will happen if I warn the new supply?

Why can’t the narcissist finally be a decent parent?

My narcissist hasn’t hoovered me, does that mean it’s over?

How can I make the narcissist obsessed with me?

…and so on.

It may not seem like it, but obsessing about the narcissist is a great way to avoid looking at your own internal wounds and subconscious motives.

What if, instead of obsessing about the narcissist, you began to obsess about yourself. Then, your questions might look like this:

Why do I feel that I can control other people’s thoughts and behaviors?

Why do I believe my unconditional forgiveness will improve things when it hasn’t made a difference so far?

Why do I want a future with someone who lies, cheats, and abuses on a regular basis?

Why do I still want this person to like me when I know I can’t even trust them?

How will remaining in this toxic relationship affect my children?

There are real risks involved when we don’t defeat the obsession we have with narcissists. They are not elusive super-stars who can be reached through some secret trick of the mind. They are not tortured souls who need a special kind of love and devotion. There is, literally, nothing you can do to change the narcissist or the relationship you have with them.

But, there are ways you can begin to improve your own life. And it starts by turning your focus onto why you want to maintain your relationship with a person who wouldn’t care if you were run over by a bus today. They won’t care if your entire family turns against you. They won’t care if you lose a loved one. They won’t care if you’re diagnosed with a terminal condition. They won’t care if you lose everything (and they will promptly leave when that happens).

Is this how you want to spend the rest of your precious life?

If not, make sure to grab your free Beginner’s Healing Roadmap here:

Your friend on the journey,

Kim Xo

Toxic Treatment

The narcissist views you as a feeble underling; one which provides them with wonderful supply. So, though they couldn’t care less about you as a person, they don’t want to give up the fringe benefits that go along with engaging in a relationship with you…albeit it a torturous one.⁠
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They won’t let you go because you are providing them with the things they need to survive as a narcissist. These things may consist of money, housekeeping, taking over the responsibility for their adult obligations, cleaning up their many messes, staying with them while they carry on affairs, and providing them a convenient receptacle for when they need to vent all their pent-up negative energies and rage onto someone. ⁠
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Therefore, it does no good for you to show your vulnerability to the narcissist and, further, why they seem to dislike you even more when you show your very human emotions. ⁠
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They want the benefits without all the damage control. They want you to just be quiet about it all and go back to the person you were before you discovered who they really are.⁠
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This is why, when you try to make them see how they’re hurting you, it is utterly pointless. In fact, it’s during these moments you see into the true core of the narcissist’s personality…and it’s chilling.⁠
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Nonetheless, in your mind, you love them and have bonded with them, and so you try to humanize them, believing they must think and feel the same way you do but just have a hard time showing it.⁠
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This is not the case. ⁠
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They are nothing like you and no amount of unconditional love will change this fact. When we insist on believing the narcissist is like us, we are creating a story in our minds, writing the screenplay as we go along, thinking that with enough love and compassion, we will finally break through to the narcissist’s wounded self. ⁠
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This will never happen and it’s important to accept this painful truth so you go about getting over a narcissist.⁠
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Learn how narcissists hook you in, keep you hypnotized, and how you can release yourself from the narcissistic vortex by joining me in my free webinar, 7 Proven Steps to Break the Narcissistic Spell.⁠
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Register here:

https://event.webinarjam.com/register/1/940vgig⁠❤❤❤

Ending Toxic Relationships : Anger /Self-Abandonment

Self-abandonment never leads to a positive outcome.

Not only does it teach people that they matter more than you do, it teaches your subconscious mind and wounded inner child that, as well.

Self-abandonment can look different for each individual, but here are some common examples:

  • Caving after that 11th hoover when you know how things will turn out
  • Modifying your own family dynamics to cater to someone you barely know
  • Believing someone when they say they’ll do better and be better when they’ve already proven to you that they’re a liar
  • Doing that uncomfortable thing in the bedroom and instead of securing the person you did it for, you learn it was all in vain
  • Canceling plans with friends and family for a flaky person who’s already bailed on you numerous times
  • Saying you like something when you don’t
  • Forgiving someone over and over after they’ve already shown you they don’t deserve forgiveness
  • You constantly give more than you receive
  • You repeatedly try to control a person or an outcome and give away all your energy and time in the process
  • You try to raise an adult when you already have minor children in the home
  • You constantly ignore your intuition or internal GPS

Healthy relationships don’t require you or ask you to abandon yourself. If you feel like this is something you need to do, it’s time to re-analyze your relationships and level of self-love.

Always thinking of you. Xo

Black Sheep

“The black sheep are the artists, visionaries and healers of our culture, because they are the ones willing to call into question those places which feel stale, obsolete, or without integrity. The black sheep stirs up the good kind of trouble. Her very life is a confrontation with all that has been assumed as tradition. Her being different serves to bring the family or group to consciousness where it has been living too long in the dark. As the idiom implies, she is the wayward one in the flock. Her life’s destiny is to stand apart. But paradoxically, it’s only when she honors that apartness that she finally fits in. The world needs your rebellion and the true song of your exile. In what has been banned from your life, you find a medicine to heal all that has been kept from our world. We must find the place within where things have been muted and give that a voice. Until those things are spoken, no truth can find its way forward. The world needs your unbelonging. It needs your disagreements, your exclusion, your ache to tear the false constructions down, to find the world behind this one.”⁣
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~Toko-pa Turner ⁣
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“The Prophetess” • 2017/2020

Nark lack trust

Isn’t it ironic?⁠
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Once you’ve caught the narcissist cheating, THEY won’t trust YOU again.⁠
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It’s like they consider it a betrayal that you discovered THEIR betrayal and will often successfully make YOU feel like the one in the wrong.⁠
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Thus begins the endurance test of blame-shifting and finger-pointing, with you as the accused. Once you discover the true character of the narcissist, you will be hard-pressed to make it through a single day where you aren’t accused of all kinds of wrongdoings… many of which are utterly absurd, but more importantly, entirely false.⁠
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Suffering from narcissistic abuse when everything you’ve tried just isn’t working can leave you feeling hopeless. ⁠
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The one thing we all face after suffering through narcissistic abuse: that endless feeling of being hopelessly alone…that no one understands our struggles or heartache.⁠
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I know how you feel — I’ve been there myself – and there is almost no worse feeling in the world. The feeling that you’re in a never-ending nightmare.⁠
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But life doesn’t have to be that way.⁠
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I dug my way out of the nightmare, and you can, too, with the nurturing and transformative Essential Break Free Bootcamp – the narcissistic abuse recovery program that’s so effective, therapists are referring their own clients to it! ⁠
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♡ ♥💕⁠ Link in bio or https://bit.ly/3aPxo7N

Love. Xo

Kim

Exposing the Narcissist

I’m all about the energy. I’m all about energetic boundaries. I’m all about spending “energy bucks” wisely. I’m all about energy mastery. It’s doesn’t get more fundamental than this. Don’t lose another ounce of your energy to a narcissistic person. It only perpetuates a dysfunction of energy that keeps you distracted from your destiny and impairs your ability to sustain mental and physical activity. It literally KILLS your vitality and eats at your soul.

Over A Decade of Being Over Him

Never saw him as the package that included our sons .

Business of old , irregular , illegal is finally going to be resolved .

Surprised at the hold out ? Not I, I heard complaints over a $2 bank charge for him to automatically deposit my Spousal Support .. Of course he was relived of that , though judgements brought up his many car payments etc

Mentioned that he was to be responsible , however that varied ..the energy shifted and outcomes varied until the last hearing .

My words , he will never have enough of my money . It’s endless. I do not wish to question him due to his lying .

Initiate Partner Violence

Malignant

High Conflict

Very few lawyers know this , and it’s not merely Domestic Violence when a marriage is obtained when the other is targeted as the abuser .

It has delayed the liberation of our 3 children and their children until recent events , allow that his WAR is HIS and I release him to that eternal war within .

Clearing this took so much effort and resistance, but upon my ancestors revelations and history I learned I had the honor of clearing this , and added to my vow to create a safe world for Harper Ann who will never have the abusive experiences of her ancestors.

Of course that applies to 5 grandsons too

His kids

There’s lots to heal and I know that’s imposing but the rising out of that trauma has a universal theme ..a drum beat and one just need surrender to their highest power and ask to be gentle in the release ..knowing I was ready to leap forward and end the never ending narrative of an abuser who is a victim and owns his power in money and has spent plenty to thwart my truths .

My healing has been tested these past 7 months intensely but my faith remains .

I am grateful 🙏 🥲

Love % Blessings

Dona Luna ✌ ✌ ✌

Mother’s Day thoughts

mothersday

I was told early on that I may not be able to have children. 4 years later I miscarried twins…
I really believed children were not in my future.

Fade in fade out…

We had been married 8 years when we found out we were going to have a son. It was such a polar mix of emotion… Shock, elation, fear and excitement were included.

As I visualized my son in my body… growing… I knew I was providing a cocoon for another human life to grow in. I will say, those later months of pregnancy brought such a deeper appreciation of my own mother…
I began thinking about the cocoon I had been formed in. I realized I had been in a cocoon of “mourning”, as her father had passed right before she was pregnant with me. Then of course,
The question …. What was my mothers cocoon like? My grandmother had to have surgery while pregnant with my mother.

Makes you think about the “cocoon” you were in for months too …right? And maybe that helps to give your mother a break… because this DNA, ancestral lineage thread is real!

It all made more sense to me as I experienced the knowing that my baby was a literal piece of me, and all past generations, and this DNA was being carried into another human who could potentially some day pass it on to another.

I don’t think I realized how much my own emotion affected the cocoon I provided for my sons until 25 years later in a “medicine ceremony”. I saw that my second son was created in a cocoon of anxiety. (He has the “anxiety rings” in his eyes to prove it. Look up Iridology… you’ll be mind blown at what they can see in your eyes alone)

Anyway… circling back I realize that for me personally, being a mother hasn’t been so much about the fact I had another human growing inside me, but another human who is my own dna … a piece of me… a reflection of me and my former generations and their fathers former generations all carried down into another human to be included in the life of others. After that life form passed from my body any one could mother them.

That made it easier to be grateful for their “step
mother” because she was so wonderful and truly cared for them and included them in her life.

So maybe your mother wasn’t your biological birth mother. But, if you are on this planet, a “mother” included you in her life for at least the months she was your cocoon! Let that soak in. You were included in her life, her body, and that was a gift.

In my opinion, Mother’s Day is a more inclusive term for all those who mothered.

Be sure to give a “HAPPY Mother’s Day” to the person/persons who cared enough about you to include you in their life, the ones who made you a part of their world, the ones who nurtured you… The ones who know your struggles and your wins. The ones who cheered you on …the ones who cared for you more than they cared for themselves. The ones who put you first.
The ones who gave you cash before spending it on themselves… the ones who gave you the center of the cinnamon roll so you could have the better taste. The ones who gave you the “unrusted” lettuce, and made your broccoli into trees so you’d eat your vegetables. The one who made sure you made it to school, or expected more of you because they knew you were a special divine human. The one who made your senior night poster.… the one who still to this day prays for you before they go to sleep.

We are all loved more than we know… and it’s a day to appreciate that.

Happy Mother’s Day …

Abby Parker Moneyhan

~am💛🦋🌸