Survivors

“Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive and go silent. Some people survive and create. Everyone deals with unimaginable pain in their own way, and everyone is entitled to that, without judgement. So the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, remember…you may not want to endure what they are enduring right now, at this moment, whilst they sit so quietly before you, looking like a calm ocean on a sunny day. Remember how vast the ocean’s boundaries are. Whilst somewhere the water is calm, in another place in the very same ocean, there is a colossal storm.” – Nikita Gill

Gaslighting

“Women have been driven mad, “gaslighted,” for centuries by the refutation of our experience and our instincts in a culture which validates only male experience. The truth of our bodies and our minds has been mystified to us. We therefore have a primary obligation to each other: not to undermine each others’ sense of reality for the sake of expediency; not to gaslight each other. …

Women have often felt insane when cleaving to the truth of our experience. Our future depends on the sanity of each of us, and we have a profound stake, beyond the personal, in the project of describing our reality as candidly and fully as we can to each other.”

― Adrienne Rich, “On Lies, Secrets, and Silence. Selected Prose 1966-1978”

If you want your wife to ….

𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗔 𝗪𝗜𝗙𝗘, 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗕𝗘 𝗔 𝗛𝗨𝗦𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗗

1. If you want your wife to make love to you often, then take care of her heart. You cannot mistreat your wife and hurt her then expect great and frequent sex.

2. If you want your wife to respect you, then you have to do respectable and admirable things. You cannot dishonour her and shame her then expect her to excuse your gross misbehavior with a blanket respect. She can’t submit to torture.

3. If you want your wife to feel safe with you and open up to you, then you have to stop emotionally and physically abusing her. You cannot instil fear and wonder why she protects herself from you.

4. If you want your wife to enjoy intimacy with you, then you have to maintain oral and body hygiene. You cannot expect your wife to enjoy kissing you and playing with your penis yet you smell of sweat, you don’t shower, don’t brush your teeth and smell of cigarette, weed or alcohol.

5. If you want your wife to stop complaining, then you need to stop repeating the same wrongs. She complains because she has to call you out when you do wrong since she believes you can be better.

6. If you want your wife to be financially transparent with you and to stop making financial decisions behind your back, then you need to start showing financial responsibility. As long as you keep being reckless, she will save and invest without your knowledge to protect her future and that of the children.

7. If you want your wife to brag about you to people, then do things that make her proud. She cannot pretend that you are a great man yet you are not.

8. If you want your wife to stop nagging and being moody, then you need to make time to spend with her and make her feel special. A woman nags and becomes grumpy when she feels neglected. A loved up wife glows.

9. If you want your wife to stop fighting your friends, then you need to stop surrounding yourself with the wrong friends and allowing your friends to pull you away from your family. You wife is just protecting you.

10. If you want your wife to be proud to be your wife, then you have to do things that make her say “Yes” to you daily. Don’t expect her to be satisfied with the title of wife just because she wears your ring, has a marriage certificate or has your child/children.

11. If you want your wife to help you and support you, then you need to have a vision and share it with her. A woman can only be a helper to a man who knows where he is going and gives her room to build with him.

#karmasays #cctoowner

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Message to Men – Women are Tired

A Wake-Up Call to Men in Relationships!!!!

I don’t want to sound harsh, but this is a message we all need to hear: Our women are tired.

They’re emotionally drained, and many of us don’t even realize that we’re nearing the edge of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to us.

For far too long, they’ve been carrying the weight of emotional labor in our relationships, but that burden is becoming unbearable. The truth is, their patience, forgiveness, and willingness to endure aren’t inexhaustible resources. The well is running dry.

We assume that because they’ve always extended grace, always stood by us, that they always will. But let me make it clear: that’s not guaranteed. There’s a limit to how much one person can give when the other isn’t reciprocating or even acknowledging the imbalance.

This is not a threat, nor is it me pandering. This is a call to action.

We have two choices: level up or level off. If we don’t take this seriously, many of us will soon be facing the reality of a woman who’s reached her limit. The end of grace and mercy.

Take heed. Don’t wait until she’s gone to realize how deeply she’s been hurting, how much she’s been carrying, and how much she’s been hoping—hoping that you’d see her pain and decide to show up in the way she’s needed all along.

Don’t let this be you. Be proactive. Be present. Be committed to doing better. For her. For yourself. For the relationship you could have if you truly step into your role as her equal, her partner, and her emotional support.

We’ve been given countless chances to show up. Let’s not waste another one.

#PermissionToThinkDifferently

P.S. I’ve been accused of pandering to women, and I get it.

I certainly hope your pride won’t convince you that this another “pandering post by Burrus”.

Doing the work / Relationships

I see many men doing “the work”, going into their shadows, looking actively and compassionately at their trauma.

They are coming to terms with their suppressed emotions, without losing their masculine edge, their leadership, the connection to their King energy.

In my men’s program, the brothers are stepping up, leaning in, diving deep, and surfacing with new-found energy and embodied power.

It’s glorious to witness.

I also see more and more women applauding that, being (their) man’s biggest cheerleaders, and expressing how grateful they are about him finally catching up.

I see their posts, their beautiful appraisals, their happiness and sighs of relief that they finally can lean back into their feminine.

So far so good.

Make no mistake, though, that “doing the work” and healing often goes in waves and takes turns.

Not always, though. But often.

Women challenged men to grow because of all the work they did. And men chose to take this challenge and are catching up.

And now, as men rise from their dark night or even dark years of the soul, their new brightness will shine a light on the shadows that women have avoided, denied, bypassed, deflected and ran from and this will be the next level of growth, if they choose to take the challenge and catch up.

Women call for men to grow, and then men demand from women to grow again…

It’s the process of co-creation, the universal law of cyclic evolution.

The ultimate expression of teamwork.

We only have to honor each other’s cycles and paces, be patient, and trust in each other’s abilities.

That’s how we expand, individually and as a collective.

In the light of love – Thy Will Be Done in the light of love ❤️

These beautiful words reinforce , my life intent to know this love

again…for for too long all odds were against me ..today I have so

much information which much based on experiences and study

and my faith is strong . All wrongs are righted and this is so.

I’m spending more time alone , on my own due to the sensitivities

with an awareness doesn’t exist in many folks ….

So this mantra , nourished my soul as it redefined the power of

love to me as I was Blessed to know this love and the Mother love

of course , for my Dad …created the world of love that filled me up.

Not always present , but always there …so when it was blocked

I was forced into learning how to love and parent myself . Healing

on many levels , and tested beyond words these past 4 years has only

increased my goal of peace and calm and love in my home ..🏠

Very grateful today to be in this light of love ❤️

youtube.com/watch

Pluto Direct – Death/ Rebirth

“Notice the greatest act of love is the self love that we can give ourselves. Everything we perceive is a mirror of the love we give or deny ourselves. Part of our journey involves learning for ourselves how to generate our own inherent sense of value that may or may not be instilled/ modelled early in life. Cathartic breathwork is one avenue that helps to reveal our limiting beliefs and also facilitates emotional release. This is key to growing clear about our core passion. Although sense of purpose and direction may change at different life stages, specific, unique gifts within each of us call for expression. The mind cannot feel quiet until we awaken to why we exist beyond all conditioning and we bravely take steps to allow our gifts to blossom and enrich this world.”

– Liara Covert

Institutional Constraints on Peer Workers’ Decisions to Disclose

It’s pervasive in our current society to devalue psychiatric experience

aide in furthered education , based on fact . The non scientific DSM

has codes that are accepted by insurance companies, lacking credible

reality . Certainly not looking at mind , body and spiritual needs of a

human soul .

I intend to offer up as much of my walk in the shadow of death ,

waking to find the threat my awakening was and still is for a few

folks . And some who would prefer my demise , as not to be facing

facts, truths that have been dodged for decades , at my detriment

and theirs , but there is denial anyone else was/is adversely impacted.

It’s not children who should carry this burden .

A new study reveals the tensions faced by mental health workers when deciding whether to disclose their personal experiences with mental health issues.
— Read on www.madinamerica.com/2024/09/to-disclose-or-not-to-disclose-institutional-constraints-on-mental-health-peer-workers-decisions-to-share-lived-experience/