Tag: family

Toxic Family Projections -Sherrie Campbell

It should never cease to amaze you when your toxic family members
come at you projecting all of who they are onto you. They demonstrate a dogged refusal to own any of their behaviors, twisted thoughts, and atrocious behaviors. When you take a step back from the relationship, they also show the audacity to act shocked and offended.

This type of crazy-making is core to these types of people. They thrive on manipulation. When you stand for yourself, they criticize you. When you confront, they belittle you.

There is no point in engaging in these dynamics. This is not a sustainable relationship. This is an ongoing battle against the odds that cannot be won and will not end.

Charlie Mc Cready

All stated here and more

Family courts, counsellors, and psychologists should be looking out for a child who is emotionally cut off from one parent with whom there was previously a loving relationship. Now the child finds that parent repellent and doesn’t want anything to do with any aspect of that parent’s life. Everything about that ‘target’ parent is deemed to be bad, wrong, and dangerous, and the child might express anxiety when the other parent is mentioned. The child is free to judge and criticise – they behave as if they’re above the other parent/grandiosity. There will probably be psychological ‘splitting’ where one parent is all good/a hero and the other parent is a monster/bad. There’s no grey – the alienated parent doesn’t even appear to be a force for good in the child’s memories. The alignment with one parent is strong with shared (delusional) thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. There may also be parentification, a kind of role reversal where the child regulates the parent, and acts as confidant and protector. The child has been privy to adult concerns and conversations. Bottom line; one parent is usually willing to cooperate, co-parent, find solutions, be reasonable, they are exhausted, heartbroken, and might not present well (and who would given this dreadful experience), and another parent, the alienator, is confident, charming, absolutely sure of their ‘victory’, but also throwing allegations, and not willing to cooperate or co-parent. These are a few signs of both alienated child/alienating parent, and plenty for the courts and counsellors and schools and anyone involved in child protection to be alert to and act upon.

If you like our posts, please help us help others by sharing our posts to other people and sites. My mission is to spread awareness about parental alienation, inform and uplift. We’re also on Instagram, and we’d love you to follow us there too.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

The Personal Authority 9 Step Program helps my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome the mental and emotional issues that they experience. This program can help transform your experience of alienation and how you live your life. Typically people experience a change in mindset after a few weeks. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, and I can send you testimonials and further details on what the program covers and the benefits you could gain

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Knowledge is key to eradicating the pathogen in Child Psychology Abuse via Narcissist – Childress

Childress – 2015: Allies: Binding Sites of Ignorance

“The third defensive meme-structure of the pathogen is to seduce and employ allies. It exploits allies to both enact the pathology (primarily the ally of the child, but also at times extended family such as step-parents or grandparents), and also to disable threats that might interfere with the pathogen’s ability to enact the pathology.

Because it seeks to remain hidden as its primary defense, the pathogen seeks “binding sites of ignorance” which don’t see the pathogen, and which it can then turn into allies to enact the pathology or disable efforts to interfere with the pathology.

The pathogen uses the ignorance of others as its primary means to remain hidden.

Our primary weapon is therefore knowledge, which we will use to expose the pathogen.” (Childress, 2015)

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

When a loved one dies

When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing. Don’t run out and call the nurse. Don’t pick up the phone. Take a deep breath and be present to the magnitude of the moment.

There’s a grace to being at the bedside of someone you love as they make their transition out of this world. At the moment they take their last breath, there’s an incredible sacredness in the space. The veil between the worlds opens.

We’re so unprepared and untrained in how to deal with death that sometimes a kind of panic response kicks in. “They’re dead!”

We knew they were going to die, so their being dead is not a surprise. It’s not a problem to be solved. It’s very sad, but it’s not cause to panic.

If anything, their death is cause to take a deep breath, to stop, and be really present to what’s happening. If you’re at home, maybe put on the kettle and make a cup of tea.

Sit at the bedside and just be present to the experience in the room. What’s happening for you? What might be happening for them? What other presences are here that might be supporting them on their way? Tune into all the beauty and magic.

Pausing gives your soul a chance to adjust, because no matter how prepared we are, a death is still a shock. If we kick right into “do” mode, and call 911, or call the hospice, we never get a chance to absorb the enormity of the event.

Give yourself five minutes or 10 minutes, or 15 minutes just to be. You’ll never get that time back again if you don’t take it now.

After that, do the smallest thing you can. Call the one person who needs to be called. Engage whatever systems need to be engaged, but engage them at the very most minimal level. Move really, really, really, slowly, because this is a period where it’s easy for body and soul to get separated.

Our bodies can gallop forwards, but sometimes our souls haven’t caught up. If you have an opportunity to be quiet and be present, take it. Accept and acclimatize and adjust to what’s happening. Then, as the train starts rolling, and all the things that happen after a death kick in, you’ll be better prepared.

You won’t get a chance to catch your breath later on. You need to do it now.

Being present in the moments after death is an incredible gift to yourself, it’s a gift to the people you’re with, and it’s a gift to the person who’s just died. They’re just a hair’s breath away. They’re just starting their new journey in the world without a body. If you keep a calm space around their body, and in the room, they’re launched in a more beautiful way. It’s a service to both sides of the veil.

Sarah Kerr, Death Doula

Sherrie Campbell – create Distance with psychologically abusive family

The goal of any psychologically abusive family member is to make you look insane through the actions of their own insanity. Never will you come across louder, more obnoxious, dramatic or bold people than toxic family members who feel slighted.

When you set boundaries on their outlandish ways of reacting, how abusive they become makes itself plainly obvious. They get loud, they bully, and stonewall hoping you will cower. The goal is to get you to give in and give them their way.

The teaching to take is to create distance, to stoically stand your solid ground, set boundaries and to ignore, ignore, ignore their tantrums.