Tag: relationships

Meryl Streep on why the shift or change in life .. Totally agree

“I no longer have patience for certain things,

not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply

because I reached a point in my life where I do

not want to waste more time with what

displeases me or hurts me.

I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism

and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please

those who do not like me, to love those who do

not love me and to smile at those who do not

want to smile at me.

I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie

or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist

anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise.

I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic

arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping.

I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world

of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid

and inflexible personalities.

In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal.

I do not get along with those who do not know how

to give a compliment or a word of encouragement.

Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty

accepting those who do not like animals. And on

top of everything I have no patience for anyone

who does not deserve my patience.”

Words Meryl Streep lives by – by José Micard Teixeira

Meryl Streep- Profound Life Changes & A quote

I just read that actor Meryl Streep and her long time husband agreeably, are living separate lives .

So I found a representative of her Facebook and this was posted.

She’s my hero, I love her dearly , and she’s so dang intelligent and intellectually, gifted.

A true woman for all seasons , I’d adore her playing me after my book is written and published and a movie results..

Huge fan

An interviewer

As I’ve been learning more about the horrors in the Middle East, this quote from the divine Meryl Streep (said years ago, mind you) captured something I’ve been trying to put words to:

Meryl Streep

“Women have learned the language of men, have lived in the house of men, all their lives. We can speak it. You know how when you learn a language, you learn French, you learn Spanish, it doesn’t really — it isn’t your language until you dream in it. And the only way to dream in it is to speak it. And women speak Men. But men don’t speak Women. They don’t dream in it.”

I totally agree and I believe w what keeps masculines “ stuck “: resistant to feminine is their own imbalance , of feminine / masculine .. Projecting that at partners etc as if women are responsible and man can leave it up to her, dodging their own self growth is a Yoke many women have determined as something they can live without .

Come on guys, open your hearts and surrender the monster that is in your closet and join in the evolution/ quantum leap into love and harmony and end the war that profits corporate America l.

A press release

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12656019/Meryl-Streep-SPLITS-longtime-husband-Don-Gummer-45-years-marriage-couple-reveal-theyve-separated-SIX-YEARS-say-theyll-care-one-another.html

Common lies of a narcissist

There were other women, there was the trauma bond and confidant relationship with his Mom. He preferred women friends . Communicate was scant from him, it became futile to speak of putting in more effort of being romantic .

And yes projected blame , from his friends and family that I was not worthy .. and crazy and at fault .

Not interested , detached from reality , no one could please him .. he never put in the effort to move forward, to grow..

I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know, but I know he expected to be treated like a king and he did not do well as a head of house and I was a handy scapegoat .

Glad that’s long over.. I allow his delusions and illusions.

youtube.com/watch

Beautiful, Charlie Mc Cready

I noticed the distancing – preempting what I later became ‘parental alienation’ – happen sometime before my children left. When it was particularly unpleasant and upsetting in those weeks and months before they moved to the other side of the world, I tried to remind myself that this was how they were bracing themselves to cope with such a monumentally life-changing, scary/exciting/brave/unknown decision. I didn’t always deal with it well, either. I’d been through parental alienation before, as a step-parent in 2001, but this took me to another level of grief long before the alienation kicked in. ⁠
⁠
It was 2009, and in the time before they left, Eminem’s’ Beautiful’ was played a lot in my children’s bedrooms. It’s a song that expresses a struggle with depression, self-doubt and a yearning for understanding, acceptance, and a desire for a better life. After they’d gone and I heard the song, I grieved. I convinced myself that the lyrics were a child’s hope for a bridge between worlds, and that mine could come back anytime. The time with their other parent became permanent, and then I was cut off, no longer necessary, and even deemed unsafe. It’s the 180 turnaround from good parent with happy, healthy children to monster that’s nonsensical and horrifying. ⁠

But they don’t lose us – we’re still here. ⁠
⁠
The song ‘Beautiful’, to me, is about alienation. It’s about longing for connection after being rejected, building ourselves up no matter how many times we’re set back or fall. We and our children are disconnected by enforcement and manipulation. We cope with it the best we can. The ‘distancing’ or ‘emotional cutoff’ is also known as disassociation. This is something in our children that the alienating parent can exacerbate, too.⁠
⁠
There are times we have to let things run their course. We need the time and space to figure things out, and so do they. We’re still here. Mine did figure things out, reach out, and they came back. It is my heartfelt wish that yours do, too. ⁠

Beautiful by Eminem

https://youtu.be/lgT1AidzRWM?si=G3qG6JMzlBspAnBG

charliemccready

Love yourself – Justin Bieber

So true !

I have dodged those in early awakening/ healing , because I did not want to take on their conflicts, nor have them involved in my clearing of past atrocities.

Mothers have seen me as a threat , a loss of control of their “ boy” who like Pete Pan , just did not want to grow up .

My Mom was neglectful, often in distorted energy , and I certainly felt her lack of caring for me through out my formative youth . She was non responsive for whatever reason, and that especially hurt when I was sick , began to menstruate, and educating me about boys and sex.. I did not have guidance in my home , did not feel love , nurture , protection , ie I did not feel I mattered . Without these vital knowledges , I was expected to leave home at 18, and I did, marring my 1st sexual partner , ashamed to not marry him, for lack of virginity for a marriage to someone else . He was all about his pleasure , and 9 months after I do s he was activated, never actually seeing was, and I felt it was time to break it off, and I did..

I am Thankful for the girlfriends and their Moms who helped guide me and my natural inclination not to be sexual . It was not with permission that I lost my virginity , it was a horrible experience and time did not create a more loving relationship, as he remained in his “ primal” energy .

I was more in my masculine energy for several years , and just withdrew after that ..

A very dear older female friend who was very wise , with whom I worked , told me years later that I had “ it “ , in my early 20 s and I didn’t really understand or grasp her intended meaning. I do now .

I have accepted my strengths , my energetic power , and am protective of it .

The masked man of distorted energy , who was my 3rd marriage held the energy of my Mom ; a sad fact I did not comprehend until after he abandoned me , after years of need , when I was toxicity drugged , and it was devastating to be aware each and every day that I did not mater, in normal ways . However , this had been showing up through out our marriage , especially in pregnancy and birth of our 3 sons .. He was busy , disassociated , neglectfully abusive , but allowed I wasn’t worthy of his time or care. I did begin to believe him as our family splintered , seeing this same disinterest evolve in our sons which was horrifying and has intensified during my recovery .

No support , no interest, in aiding me, I was their monster in the closet , their shame , and the targeted scapegoat for everything negative .

There have been many who have supported their views and mothered them , denigrating me , as the controller took overly vulnerable unhealed souls , in denial of the mother child bond that deserved healing . Comments of sympathy have been rare, one alluded to the financial abuse only, not the child psychological abuse I have been aware of since 1993 , as I noted the competition had amped up .

All this pleased ex MIL , who was not happy with her son’s choices , as his confidant and true partner , she then supported his getting out of a marriage or later a relationship that he place sole responsibility for failure on the other…

It is wonderful to acknowledge all this in a 3rd person perspective and observe the trauma bond that existed between past and his Mom, and how he influenced that trauma bond on our sins , with the help of a “ brother” psychiatrist.

I have been past , their past for over 2 decades , , yet accused of living in the past as I grieved the loss of our sons , my home, my health , my Mom, grandparents etc .

I won’t ever embrace another relationship that has these mother child unhealthy bonds …never ever .

He allowed his Mom to neglect me, abuse me , and spoke ill of me behind my back.. it was clearly the energy , almost always in her presence . That was deferred to our sons , noticeably , until he abandoned me and our sons , and then they were embraced as her daughters children were … never to degree of love and support .

It is vital to have a normally healthy self love ❤️, but too much ego or trauma is corruptive .

Lesson learned

Justin Bieber .. Love yourself …

https://youtu.be/pb4hWWMlFYg?si=jWiylrxZaJl5cgzn

Futures without violence

70 women in America are shot and killed by their domestic abuser in an average month. Guns are the #1 cause of death for children in the United States. With the Supreme Court debating whether domestic abusers can have guns, that number could increase.

Learn the facts of US v Rahimi — and join us to tell SCOTUS: NO GUNS FOR ABUSERS. #DisarmDV
https://nogunsfordvabusers.org/#take-action

Adult children of Emotionally Immature Parents

I have not read this yet , but I’m betting it has a message for someone.

I reacted immaturely , on occasion, as I grew more wear,y of being the adult, with emotional intelligence that was met with walls instead of doors , with loved ones .

A test about 10 years ago , revealed I had some work to do, scoring 51 out of 55.

My vision weakened on psychiatric prescription drugs/chemicals , and I’m an avid reader. I’m on my I-pad and use enlarged print and often a magnifying glass in order to do any close work.

The lighting in my motel room is dim, I don’t receive Sun here , due to large shade trees (and the inset rooms ) we have a porch area for each ground level room, and of course the upstairs rooms have a deck like porch .

Trees out side my single back window, don’t lend to light .

Prayers this reference book helps in some way.

Anxiety has multi origins, and I learned to stop my anxiety I had to look at many factors .

Tracing that back to the Twlight Sleep, used on my Mom , requiring forceps to deliver me . to nutritional lacks in my early childhood development. Picking up on others energy early on, physical pain, and neglect, intentional or via ignorance of my high sensitivity.

In a relationship or marriage lacking intimate communication, not having the shelter of true love really increased my anxiety , and I had no choice to call a time out, for myself . I don’t respond to anxiety as I used to .

All that’s required is information and change in lifestyle etc to release anxiety , for me a long look back years ago was my escape from anxiety .

Avoiding conflict as much as possible , not allowing my emotions to be abused has improved my negative reactions , however I try to speak my truth .

a.co/d/81lO4PD