positive results – Page 4 – GreatCosmicMothersUnite

Moms Breaking Cycles 🙌

To the moms breaking cycles they never asked to be part of.

To the ones learning how to feel, how to cry, how to forgive, all while raising babies who won’t have to carry the same weight.

I see you.

It’s not easy healing from what hurt you while showing up with love, patience, and softness for your kids.

It’s not easy being the first to say “this ends with me.”

But it is brave. It is powerful. It is world-changing.

Keep going, mama.

Every time you choose connection over control, every time you apologize, every time you pause to breathe…

You are doing the work that will ripple through generations.

And that matters more than you know.

Charlie McCready -The Reality of Parental alienation

This post will resonate with those who understand the reality of what’s commonly known as parental alienation. The alienator is skilled and practised in telling us that we no longer have children, that we don’t deserve to see them, that we’re no good. If they can say such shocking, untrue things to us, just imagine the false narratives they are feeding others—and, most devastatingly, our children. And why? In short, and for the vast majority of us, it’s simply and most devastatingly, to punish us. In doing so, they are also punishing the children, tearing them away from a loving, willing, and available parent.They distort the child’s thinking, erode their beliefs, and attack any real connection.The divorce has nothing to do with the children, yet the alienator will try to turn an ex-partner into an ex-parent. This is not love. This is not healthy. This is disordered, selfish, and psychologically abusive behaviour.

Knowing the truth about the alienator and their behaviours doesn’t bring our children back, but it’s important to understand the pathology. It’s also vital not to react to their provocations and abuse, however tempting it may be. Because, at present, ‘parental alienation’ is not recognised as abuse in its own right. While coercive control, one of the alienator’s favoured methods, is recognised in many jurisdictions as abuse, mental health and legal professionals still focus on what is deemed ‘in the child’s best interests’. But when the child is indoctrinated, terrorised, and made to feel unloved/abandoned, their voice is no longer authentic. This is not a genuine expression of their will—it’s the result of manipulation/coercive control (abuse). It’s akin to Stockholm Syndrome, or even brainwashing. Still, the result of the indoctrination is what the experts often focus on when making their decisions, and to further complicate matters, false allegations are often thrown into the mix to delay progress.

Even though the child is coerced into aligning with the alienating parent, this was never their choice. If they had made this decision freely, it would be ‘estrangement,’ and some form of natural separation from home/parents is part of growing up, especially during adolescence. But children ideally want healthy relationships with both parents—not just with the bullying, alienating, and coercively controlling one. This is their right. Denying them this is abuse in itself.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#divorce

#divorced

#custody

Emotionally Homeless

Man, make sure your woman is not emotionally homeless. She needs to feel safe, cherished, and deeply understood.

A woman who is emotionally homeless carries a silent pain. She may have a roof over her head, but if she doesn’t have a space where she feels truly seen, heard, and valued, she is wandering through life unanchored. Love is not just about physical presence; it is about emotional security. A man who loves her must ensure that his presence is a sanctuary, not a storm.

When a woman feels emotionally secure, she flourishes. She speaks her truth without fear, she loves without hesitation, and she trusts without doubt. But when she lacks that security, she withdraws. Her laughter becomes forced, her eyes lose their spark, and her heart begins to protect itself from the very love she once desired.

A man’s touch, words, and actions determine whether she feels at home or like a stranger in her own relationship. If she constantly questions her place in his life, if she feels like she must beg for attention, if her emotions are dismissed as “too much,” she will slowly start to detach. Not because she wants to, but because she has no choice.

A woman who is emotionally homeless may not leave immediately, but she will start to build walls. She will become quieter, less expressive, and more independent—not because she wants to be strong, but because she is forced to protect herself. And once she fully detaches, there is no love strong enough to bring her back.

The truth is, most women do not ask for grand gestures. They do not need a man to move mountains for them. What they need is consistency, reassurance, and a love that feels like home. They need to know that their emotions are not a burden, that their love is not one-sided, and that their vulnerability is safe in his hands.

Emotional homelessness in women is not just about neglect; it is about being in a relationship where she feels alone. She might have a man beside her, yet feel like she is fighting battles by herself. She might have a partner who loves her, yet feel completely misunderstood. And over time, this loneliness breaks her more than any physical distance ever could.

If a man truly loves his woman, he will make sure she never feels like a guest in his life. He will create space for her heart, her fears, her dreams, and her emotions. He will listen—not just to respond, but to understand. He will reassure her—not just with words, but with actions. He will stand beside her—not just when it is easy, but when she needs him the most.

A woman who feels emotionally at home is radiant. She gives love freely, she supports without resentment, and she trusts with an open heart. She doesn’t hold back, because she knows she is safe. But a woman who feels emotionally homeless starts to fade. And once she fades, no amount of love will bring her back to who she once was.

So, man, make sure your woman is not emotionally homeless. Be her safe place. Be the warmth she returns to, not the cold world she tries to escape.

Lovemaking

PARASYMPATHETIC LOVEMAKING

There are two pathways possible when entering into the realms of erotic arousal.

Broadly the main pathway indulged and promoted by most of the world is what I would call sympathetic.

You know it.

Hot lustful kissing turning into clothes ripping, hard thrusting, full friction, bed shaking and collapse in a sweaty mess.

It always amazes me how in movies and shows characters go from that first kiss to ripping each others clothes off, with the cliched knock something off a table and/or slam against a wall, in like 15 seconds.

Granted it is hot.

It can cause that little stir inside, a little pelvic rock of pleasure and anticipation.

The thing about this pathway of lovemaking, however, is that it requires intensity.

High levels of excitation are required to generate the blood flow necessary for full engorgement and moistening.

Hence the clothes ripping, grabbing, thrusting nature of it.

Hence why addiction to the seeming delights of the adult entertainment industry is such a big problem for many men.

Because, like any thrill seeker… you always need more.

More intensity. More excitement. More heat.

It’s why lovemaking can be so passionate at the beginning of a relationship and then lead to diminishment of desire over time.

It’s hard to continue to generate an ever increasing supply of intensity… especially when you throw kids, jobs, financial stress, familiarity and all the other normal things of life into the mix.

The other pathway, parasympathetic arousal, is fuelled by an entirely different kind of energy.

Safety.

This is the kind of arousal that occurs when you feel so safe, so secure, so stable that your heart opens, your body relaxes, you can just be you in all your beauty and uniqueness.

Arousal from this place is effortless.

It doesn’t require intensity, excitement, friction.

This is the kind of arousal that occurs when your partner smiles at you with loving eyes, and you know they are truly there for you, and you are safe and you don’t have to do anything special to be wanted and loved and then… so naturally, so easily… your body is turned on.

I’ve found that the more safety I develop both in myself and my relationship, the easier it is to find my arousal.

There is no striving. No effort. No need to create any special conditions.

This isn’t “let’s light candles, stare into each others eyes for an inordinate amount of time with the requisite ambient music in the background for long full body massages before special tantric lovemaking”.

I mean sure, that’s nice and I’m all for it sometimes when there is time.

Yet this is much simpler.

It’s simply a body that responds to safety as the biggest turn-on.

And you know what… even though I’m 41, this part of my body feels like a teenager all over again. Even though we are past the honeymoon phase.

We can entirely rewire the erotic nature of our nervous system.

In my opinion it’s worth it.

More lovemaking.

More safety.

More love.

~ Damien Bohler

The Blessings of Being Rejected by your child

Watching your child(ren) go through so much of life enmeshed with a parent who abuses them , to savage you … is the Hell on Earth no one wants or deserves .

That said , I have been on my own since 1993 . As the toxic RX increased the unpleasant side effects of being the target physically, I had no one who cared .

Realizing the blatant abuse and X’s desire to recreate as much of my trauma of childhood , I could more easily distance myself

youtube.com/watch

Women Who Run With Wolves

When a woman makes the decision

to abandon suffering, lies and submission;

When a woman says,

from the bottom of her heart:

“Enough— this far I have come”,

Not a thousand armies of ego

and not all the traps of the illusion

will be able to stop her

in search for her own truth.

There the doors of her own soul open

and the healing process begins.

The process that will return her little by little to herself, to her true life.

And nobody said that this path is easy,

but it is the path.

That decision in itself

opens a direct line with its wild nature

and that is where the true miracle begins.

~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, “Women Who Run With the Wolves”

http://www.clarissapinkolaestes.com

Art by Kimberly Webber

http://www.kimberlywebber.com

Emotional Safety 🍾💯

In psychology, emotional safety refers to an emotional state achieved in attachment relationships wherein each individual is open and vulnerable. The concept is primarily used by couples’ therapists to describe intimate relationships. When a relationship is emotionally safe, the partners trust each other and routinely give each other the benefit of the doubt in questionable situations. When emotional safety is lost, the partners are inclined to be distrustful, looking for possible hidden meanings and potential threats in each other’s words and behaviors.

Remember, emotional safety includes mutual respect, open communication, empathy, and consistent support. Building this foundation strengthens the neural pathways associated with trust and intimacy, leading to a more fulfilling and lasting connection.

Emotional safety is a basic human need and an essential building block for all healthy human relationships.

Emotional safety is the visceral feeling of being accepted and embraced for who you truly are and what you feel and need.

Feeling chronically emotionally unsafe causes intense psychological distress—and, often, greater isolation and more difficulty reaching out.

“Precaution is better than cure.”

Emotional safety is about being authentic and sharing thoughts and feelings with another person without any fear. Frequent criticism and invalidating remarks, especially from a loved one, is a sure path to stripping any relationship of emotional safety.

Key Takeaways 🗝 :

Safety doesn’t happen by accident.

When safety is first, you last.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Accidents hurt, safety doesn’t.

No Safety, Know Pain. Know Safety, No Pain.

Love should feel safe , even in anger

The way a man handles his anger tells you everything you need to know about his emotional maturity, self-control, and most importantly, how deeply he respects you. See, anybody can love you when it’s easy. When things are sweet, when you’re laughing together, when everything’s going right. But how he treats you when he’s mad? That’s the real test. That’s the moment where all the fluff fades, and his truest self steps forward.
If his first instinct when he’s upset is to belittle you, ignore you, curse at you, bring up your insecurities, or give you silent treatment like he’s punishing you just for having a voice—that’s not love. That’s control. That’s ego. That’s a man who hasn’t learned how to love someone through conflict, only in the absence of it.
But a real man? Even at his worst, he’ll still handle you with care. Even if he’s angry, he’ll take a breath before he speaks. He’ll communicate instead of attack. He’ll say “I need a minute” instead of saying something he’ll regret. Because love doesn’t disappear when emotions run high. If anything, that’s when it’s supposed to show up stronger.
So don’t let “he was just mad” be the excuse that makes you ignore a pattern. Because one day it’s yelling… next it’s slamming doors… and eventually, it’s full-blown emotional damage that you’re left to unpack alone.
Love should feel safe—even in anger. If it doesn’t, it’s not the kind of love you deserve. 💔

Protection over Connection

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Disordered Parenting / Recovery – Charlie McCready

I hope these words, shared with permission, bring you comfort. I know how hard it is—the uncertainty, the second-guessing, replaying failed or missed moments. It’s easy to be consumed by anger, grief, and the injustice of it all. Rising above it is unimaginably hard, but your happiness matters. And there is hope. ⁠

⁠

The story of this previously alienated mother shows that even after years of alienation, reconciliation is possible. Her child’s words—acknowledging the manipulation and indoctrination – must have confirmed her worst fears. Alienation is real! But the love was always there too! They’ve just been coerced and indoctrinated into feeling they do not, or should not love us. Let this remind you: love can persist, even through the darkest times.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#overcomingadversity

#EmotionalAbuseAwareness

#parentalalienation