Tag: family

Harmful Dynamic of Parental Alienation on the child

Children subjected to the harmful dynamic known as parental alienation, exhibit distinct attitudes and behaviours. They become fixated on denigrating one parent, reciting numerous grievances, and treating that parent as if they hold no value. What’s even more concerning is that many deeply alienated children express desires for the parent’s demise or disappearance. Strikingly, they do so without any accompanying guilt or remorse for their hostile behaviour. Children who have experienced physical abuse, typically fear the person abusing them, adopting a compliant demeanour to avoid further harm. They do no such thing with the alienated parent they reject because they say they’re not safe, or unwelcome in their life – with no real justification for these accusations and a previously loving relationship. Often their reasons are trivial or irrational like disliking being asked to help around the house, or not swearing, or any other reasons which do not warrant the rejection and hatred. Again, this contrasts with abused children who can offer justifiable and real evidence for their aversion.

Ordinarily, children, especially in the teenage years, hold a mix of sentiments toward their parents, including both love and loathing. However, children subjected to parental alienation often lack ambivalence. They struggle to articulate anything positive about the alienated parent while protecting the preferred (alienating, abusive) parent with whom they are aligned and being indoctrinated. During parental disputes, these children instinctively side with their preferred parent and accept without question that parent’s allegations against the alienated parent. Their expressions of criticism often mirror the aligned parent’s grievances, even if they don’t fully understand the words and phrases used. This happens despite their insistence that their rejection of the parent is solely their own decision, unaffected by the parent they have been induced to favour.

As the alienation deepens, it extends beyond just the parent. It encompasses other family members and friends on the alienated parent’s side. Even hobbies and interests. Even pets. It is ‘hatred by association’. It is irrational and yet can become powerfully ingrained behaviour. It might be a cherished grandparent who they no longer want to see. It is tragic for all involved. The only person who might be considered a ‘winner’ is the alienating parent. ‘Winner’ is not a word to describe their behaviour. ‘Abuser’ is much more fitting.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienationawareness

#childrensrights

Moms Breaking Cycles 🙌

To the moms breaking cycles they never asked to be part of.

To the ones learning how to feel, how to cry, how to forgive, all while raising babies who won’t have to carry the same weight.

I see you.

It’s not easy healing from what hurt you while showing up with love, patience, and softness for your kids.

It’s not easy being the first to say “this ends with me.”

But it is brave. It is powerful. It is world-changing.

Keep going, mama.

Every time you choose connection over control, every time you apologize, every time you pause to breathe…

You are doing the work that will ripple through generations.

And that matters more than you know.

Charlie McCready- Lawyers $$$$

Does anyone care to comment? When I have more time, I’d like to gather more data on what alienated parents have actually experienced in the family court system. How long did it take? What was the outcome? How much money was spent? Did it lead to reunification? If the court ordered contact, was it enforced—and if so, how did that go?⁠

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Alienated parents often pour their life savings into a legal system they once believed would protect their rights and their children’s well-being—only to emerge financially drained, emotionally shattered, and, in many cases, no closer to justice.⁠

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This highlights the urgent need for reform. Lawyers dealing with these cases should be trained to recognise attachment disordered parental alienation – the false narratives and coercive, manipulative behaviours that drive it. The legal system must do better, not only for parents who are being erased from their children’s lives but, most importantly, for the children themselves—caught in a battle they never chose.⁠

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Perhaps we expect too much. Perhaps we should know better by now. After all, injustice isn’t confined to family courts or parental alienation. Look at the wider world—those who commit crimes often walk free, while those who expose them suffer the consequences. The alienated parent is no different: seeking truth in a system that too often fails to protect the innocent while enabling the abuse.⁠

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I don’t mean to sound cynical. I try to stay focused on solutions. But we shouldn’t have to ‘fight’ to see our own children in a court of justice—because we are not criminals. We are parents. Parental alienation isn’t simply a legal matter; it’s a psychological and relational issue—one that the law is often ill-equipped to handle. And for many, prolonged legal action is not only financially impossible but also emotionally destructive. While sometimes necessary, court should be a last resort, used only when every other effort to protect a child’s well-being has been exhausted.

If you are going through what’s commonly known as ‘parental alienation’, know you’re not alone. I’ve been through it myself. Personally and professionally, I have over 20 years of experience. I am reunited with my children and here to offer support with daily posts on social media and also with the coaching I offer. Feel free to reach out to me anytime.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#alienatedchild

Disordered Pathogenic Parenting – Charlie McCready

In many cases (though not all of course), the alienating parent operates from a place of deep-seated emotional neediness rooted in their own childhood experiences. If they lacked sufficient love and secure attachment during their formative years, they may have developed an attachment style characterised by anxiety or insecurity. This void creates an overwhelming desire for their child to fulfil unmet emotional needs—an expectation for unwavering loyalty and affection.⁠

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In this dynamic, the child becomes a vessel for the parent’s unresolved trauma and unfulfilled desires. The alienating parent may project their need for love onto the child, expecting them to provide the unconditional support and affirmation they missed out on. This demand can manifest as controlling or possessive behaviour, where the parent subtly or overtly communicates that love and loyalty come with conditions: to reject, demonise, or distance themselves from the other parent. Truly a cruel thing to inflict on a child – some do this unconsciously, others quite deliberately. ⁠

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For the child, if they do not comply or fail to provide the desired level of loyalty, it may trigger the alienating parent’s fear of abandonment and inadequacy. They might respond with manipulation, guilt, or emotional coercion, reinforcing the notion that the child’s love is contingent upon rejecting the other parent. The underlying message is clear: the child must choose sides and prioritise the alienating parent’s needs or risk losing the affection and approval they crave. Again, this is disordered, pathogenic parenting. ⁠

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Ultimately, this creates a toxic cycle of dependence and alienation, where the child feels torn between their natural bond with both parents and the appalling expectations imposed by the alienating parent. It undermines the child’s sense of autonomy, fosters confusion, and cultivates a skewed perception of love—one that is contingent on loyalty rather than the unconditional acceptance and support that every child deserves.⁠

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#alienatedchild

Charlie McCready -The Reality of Parental alienation

This post will resonate with those who understand the reality of what’s commonly known as parental alienation. The alienator is skilled and practised in telling us that we no longer have children, that we don’t deserve to see them, that we’re no good. If they can say such shocking, untrue things to us, just imagine the false narratives they are feeding others—and, most devastatingly, our children. And why? In short, and for the vast majority of us, it’s simply and most devastatingly, to punish us. In doing so, they are also punishing the children, tearing them away from a loving, willing, and available parent.They distort the child’s thinking, erode their beliefs, and attack any real connection.The divorce has nothing to do with the children, yet the alienator will try to turn an ex-partner into an ex-parent. This is not love. This is not healthy. This is disordered, selfish, and psychologically abusive behaviour.

Knowing the truth about the alienator and their behaviours doesn’t bring our children back, but it’s important to understand the pathology. It’s also vital not to react to their provocations and abuse, however tempting it may be. Because, at present, ‘parental alienation’ is not recognised as abuse in its own right. While coercive control, one of the alienator’s favoured methods, is recognised in many jurisdictions as abuse, mental health and legal professionals still focus on what is deemed ‘in the child’s best interests’. But when the child is indoctrinated, terrorised, and made to feel unloved/abandoned, their voice is no longer authentic. This is not a genuine expression of their will—it’s the result of manipulation/coercive control (abuse). It’s akin to Stockholm Syndrome, or even brainwashing. Still, the result of the indoctrination is what the experts often focus on when making their decisions, and to further complicate matters, false allegations are often thrown into the mix to delay progress.

Even though the child is coerced into aligning with the alienating parent, this was never their choice. If they had made this decision freely, it would be ‘estrangement,’ and some form of natural separation from home/parents is part of growing up, especially during adolescence. But children ideally want healthy relationships with both parents—not just with the bullying, alienating, and coercively controlling one. This is their right. Denying them this is abuse in itself.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#divorce

#divorced

#custody

Holy War

This gave me full body chills…

“👁️ Did you ever wonder why the baby’s taken across the room? Why the cord is clamped fast, the mother left shaking, the lights so bright it feels like judgment?

Did you ever feel the stillness—the eerie quiet when the father’s hands are empty, the grandmother’s not in the room, and the newborn is nowhere near a breast?

It’s not just medicine.

It’s not just policy.

It’s a ritual.

And it’s not ours.

🧬 They inject pig-derived Pitocin to mimic the hormone God designed to flood a woman’s brain in labor. But it doesn’t reach the brain. It only contracts the body.

The love doesn’t flow.

The imprint doesn’t land.

The bonding doesn’t seal.

Just pressure. Just force.

💉 Synthetic love.

⚡ Counterfeit release.

🧠 Neurological silence.

And while the woman is watched but not touched, while the baby is wiped but not suckled, while the father is praised for being “supportive” but not leading—

they cut the thread.

👶 The mother-baby dyad was made to reflect divine intimacy. To pass down trust, peace, protection.

But when it’s broken—

the body remembers.

The child stores the grief.

The mother learns disconnection.

The father fades from view.

That’s how it starts. But it doesn’t end there.

Then come the bottles.

The cribs.

The high chairs.

The eight-hour separations called school.

The praise of independence that is really just early detachment.

The lie that the nuclear family is enough. That Mom runs the home. That Dad is just for weekends. That children are safest raised by strangers in buildings funded by gods they do not know.

🕳️ We are not looking at broken systems.

We are looking at precision-engineered fragmentation.

And you feel it. You’ve felt it all along.

That something was taken before you could name it.

That someone was missing even while you were being told you had “everything you need.”

But listen: the lie only wins if we let it.

And we won’t.

We are pulling the babies back to the breast.

We are restoring the mother’s voice in the birth room.

We are putting grandmothers back at the table.

We are praying over the placenta.

We are keeping them close at night.

We are burning the counterfeit and walking in the design.

This is not soft work.

It is a holy war”

– written upon the heart of almost every midwife

– author – Cardinal Birth Midwifery Service