Charlie Mc Cready

An alienated parent experiences profound emotional turmoil, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place. They are often isolated from their child due to the alienating tactics of the other parent, which can lead to overwhelming loneliness and confusion. The deep sense of loss, akin to a ‘living bereavement’, encompasses not just the physical absence of their child but also the loss of the once-strong emotional bond. The alienated parent feels helpless, unable to protect their child from further harm, and may experience anguish and betrayal as their child parrots negative statements from the alienating parent.⁠

To navigate this hugely difficult situation, alienated parents can seek support through counselling to express their emotions, develop coping strategies, and gain perspective. In the case of the coaching I do, we often work in small groups, which can be incredibly supportive and/or one-to-one work. Prioritising self-care, both physically and emotionally, is crucial. Learning about parental alienation, maintaining boundaries, and considering legal recourse when necessary can empower. Focusing on reconciliation rather than retaliation when interacting with alienated children is crucial. Recognising and addressing these complex emotions is the first step toward healing and potentially rebuilding the parent-child relationship. ⁠

These daily posts are here to spread awareness, inform and (where possible) uplift. But don’t hesitate to contact me directly if I can help you with coaching. There’s more information on my website. ⁠

Parental Alienation

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Parental Alienation is a “ Dark Art “ Charlie Mc Cready

A “dark art” typically refers to a skill, practice, or technique that is perceived as secretive, manipulative, or unethical, often used to achieve a hidden or harmful agenda. Parental alienation could be considered a “dark art” because it involves one parent deliberately manipulating and influencing a child to reject or distance themselves from the other parent. This process often involves psychological tactics, emotional manipulation, and even outright lies to create a negative perception of the targeted parent. It’s secretive in nature, aiming to erode the child’s relationship with the other parent through tactics that can be harmful to the child’s emotional well-being and the overall family dynamic. The term “dark art” reflects the covert and harmful nature of such behaviours in the context of parental alienation.⁠

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Don’t Ignore Negative Behaviors in Sons | Psychology Today

Parents should do the opposite when they hear: “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.”
— Read on www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/spotlight-on-special-education/202310/dont-ignore-negative-behaviors-in-sons

The parent-child bond is critical – even when prison walls separate them – New Hampshire Bulletin

Family Fun Day is a culminating event for the Family Connections Center program at the New Hampshire Department of Corrections, which works to foster relationships between children and their incarcerated parents. 
— Read on newhampshirebulletin.com/2023/10/04/the-parent-child-bond-is-critical-even-when-prison-walls-separate-them/

Wisdoms

Wisdom is pulling up to every one of your kids events in a $10,000 vehicle, instead of making 3 events a year in your $80,000 vehicle.

Wisdom is being home every night with your family in your single wide mobile home, instead of being home with your family 2 nights a week in your mansion.

What I’ve come to realize is this: “It’s not about what I can afford, it’s about what I can’t afford to miss because you never know when your life will end”. -author unknown

Painting by: Lore Pemberton

Writing – Development explained

So many parents are often worried about why their child is not able to write by the age of 4 and why instead of writing, the teacher is allowing them to play, or be creative with intricate or fine motor materials?

This picture explains why.

Up until 6 years of age, their tiny hands are still developing and are not fully formed. Children require progressive development in their hands to enable them to grasp and hold things and eventually develop their writing skills.

Like any muscles, we must train them, strengthen them and ‘work out’ to get them stronger – this is just the same for the muscles in children’s hands.

So what should be done to support this?

PLAY! Playdough, colouring, tearing, sensory play, beading, picking cotton balls with tweezer/cloth clips, cleaning, wiping, holding, grabbing, sweeping, cutting, planting, digging etc.

These types of activities may not seem like education to you, but they are the foundations of what is to come. Rush the process and the results will be catastrophic.

We must allow our children to develop their fine motor skills which in turn, develop the skills required for early, emergent writing and later full writing skills.

When children are ready to write, they will. No need to rush them, they will show you when they are ready 🙂

© Gavin McCormack — at National Child Development Center – Antipas.

10 Duties We Have Towards Our Parents When They Get Older – Creative Healthy Family

What do we owe our aging parents, morally and ethically speaking? Find out in these 10 duties we have towards our parents when they get older.
— Read on www.creativehealthyfamily.com/10-duties-we-have-towards-our-parents-when-they-get-older/

Watch out for the Narcissist Mother In Law

A very covert narcissist, it was years before she was openly hostile and witnessing the exchange , he did absolutely nothing .

It was so acute, so vulgar that I walked away, preferring to take a walk on the beach.. he followed. I recall saying , that I’d give him a divorce so he could be with his Mother.

He said ” I’ll divorce her , before I divorce you”. He had a lifetime of trauma bonding and confidential conversations with her , and in the end he targeted me for all the feminine energies that had not been kind to him, as I reflected his distortions back to him, the opportunity to have me disposed of arose and he ran with it.

No care for our sons, nor me, it was always about him and that hasn’t changed, it has gotten much worse.

youtube.com/watch

Mother who lives like ‘1950s housewife’ believes her role is to look after the kids : Secret Life Of Mom

I too had a Mom who worked, 11 to 7 and I made it clear that I wanted to stay in home and raise what became 3 sons.

He had a Mom that had a career in the family business , type A achiever , doing all… I wasn’t geared that way , and the lack of response in raising our sons was acute .

I still feel women whose Mothering instincts are to be in home with children , perhaps until they are in school.

Like France , I’d like for American Moms to be supported by our government.. food, and much more … children deserve a Mom who has support from her partner from inception on..

Our sons had a skewed perspective from Dad , that he was the all knowing, all powerful as they were taught by him that money and his family were the power , and I was of little importance , just taking his money and not doing my job .

I was drained by his energy , his distorted character and his inability to change , to grow, to see what was needed without being told .

I was drugged into submission when out youngest was 6 .

A judge had ruled children did not need their Mom after age 6…

The control and keeping his social appearance, meant he had to demonize me , he had to win.

And then there was the therapist who stated in our 1st meeting . ” you are not a Mother anymore, fund something else to do “. Unfortunately, i was in a deep state of trauma , this

” professional ” ignored . He went on to hold a state head of psychological health !

Sadly there a lot of men who are in positions of power that do not accept the needs of a child and their Mom .

He totally missed the malignant , high conflict , intimate partner violence .

Nothing is more violent than targeting a Mom, and ignoring her adverse reactions to toxic RX , false diagnosis.

Very unfortunate that he took no interest in our children’s mental , physical , or emotional health , only winning , from his targeted wife.

Daily stories that make you smile, think, laugh, and cry a little.
— Read on secretlifeofmom.com/mother-lives-like-1950s-housewife/

Maya Angelou – Letter to My Daughter

“I am convinced that most people do not grow up… We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.”

Maya Angelou – Letter to My Daughter, 2012.