Tag: child Psychological abuse

Healing acknowledges our role in our own pain- Charlie McCready

Absolutely!

Reparenting myself , acknowledging the facts and moving thru all types of situations that tested me beyond belief.

Lots of pain , lots of challenges but with the light of truth , healing became possible.

It was and is a liberation 💯😘

The process of examining the role we play in our own pain starts with understanding that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours are interconnected and can contribute to our suffering. It’s difficult but immensely helpful to gain insights into our patterns, triggers and ways we might unintentionally react and respond in ways that don’t help us. It’s about asking ourselves self-reflective and honest questions and working out how we might perpetuate negative cycles – or people (such as the alienator) – in our lives. Our patterns and thought processes might stem from childhood, cultural influences, past relationships and experiences. By digging out the root problems, we can understand how they contribute to our pain. That’s not to say it’s the main problem present, but it’s our part in it. We may not like what we unearth about ourselves, but these aspects of us we bury need to see the light, and this is fundamental to the journey of healing and creating a more fulfilling life. It is far easier to avoid dealing with this or engage in negative self-talk or self-sabotage, but this only maintains the problem and the suffering. Acknowledging these things is the first step towards breaking the cycle. It means there’s a willingness to embrace our vulnerability, challenge our default responses and experiment with healthier alternatives. This doesn’t mean blaming ourselves, either. It’s an opportunity to practise self-compassion and self-love. Facing our role in our pan is an incredibly empowering step towards growth, change and healing, with improved emotional well-being and increased resilience to difficult situations and people, such as the alienating parent, the family court, and the people who don’t understand what it’s like to have our children deliberately and vengefully turned against us. This can be a shift that can lead to healthier, happier relationships with others and ourselves.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#Healing

#parentalalienation

#FamilyCourt

#ChildCustody

#parentalalienationawareness

#custodybattle

#custody

Targeted Parent Object of Lies by Alienator

I’ll start us off. I was accused of being a ‘slum landlord’ when in fact I used to rent property through the council in a deprived area, the rooms were kept pristine, in fact I couldn’t have rented them through the council if they hadn’t been through all the strict regulations. The rooms were ‘sheltered housing’ for people struggling in life for various reasons including domestic abuse. I hardly made any money, I did it for over ten years, and I wanted to help because I was able to do so.

I was accused of affairs.

On another occasion, in a different situation, I was also accused of causing bulimia. This accusation came from someone who made comments daily about the way people (including my child) look, their size, their appearance etc.

What lies have been told about you?

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienation #parentalalienationawareness #highconflictdivorce #Divorce #childabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissism #narcissist

Victim vs Survivor- Charlie McCready

A victim can be described as someone who has experienced harm, pain, or trauma – someone who experiences parental alienation and having their children unjustly turned against them. This harm inflicted by the alienating parent might be emotional, psychological, or even, in some cases, physical.⁠

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On the other hand, a survivor has faced the same adversity but has taken a different path in response to it. Typically, when we realise what’s happening, we’re shocked and can become paralyzed by the trauma. This is accompanied by a sense of helplessness and inability to move forward. Many don’t want to ‘move on’ in any way as they fear this means quitting or somehow giving up on their alienated children. Overcoming this horrific and poorly understood and supported experience is no mean feat. Reclaiming your strength and joy in life is not easy, but it is possible, and when others see you do it, you empower them to do the same. Overcoming trauma, including parental alienation, involves understanding the pathology, accepting it’s happened/is happening, and healing, self-discovery, and personal growth. It often requires rebuilding a sense of self-worth. ⁠

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Alienated parents and alienated children survive this experience in different ways. For example, alienated children psychologically ‘split’ due to cognitive dissonance and the inability to hold two contrasting ideas. In this way, unawareness (as with emotional cutoff) is a powerful survival technique when information threatens their status quo. It safeguards them from potential harm or distress. Being unaware or avoiding certain truths becomes a coping strategy. They may unconsciously choose to remain ignorant or suppress awareness to shield themselves from the potential negative consequences of that knowledge. They may be burying feelings of shame, guilt and confusion behind a show of confidence, criticism, and grandiosity. ⁠

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The healing journey for both alienated parents and children involves recognising the harm inflicted, fostering genuine self-acceptance, moving out of any sense of victimhood, and experiencing growth and resilience that empowers you to survive all ongoing conflicts or challenges. ⁠

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#narcissisticparent

#OvercomingAdversity

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#FamilyCourt

#ChildCustody

Craig Childress, PsyD – Family Courts lacking diagnosis info & legit parents

The forensic psychologists are withholding a diagnosis from the courts and from the litigant parents.

As a result, the courts don’t have the necessary information for decision-making surrounding the child, and one of the litigants (the targeted parent) does not have the necessary information to fully make their case to the court for a child protection response.

Court-involved psychologists should NOT be withholding highly relevant diagnostic information from the courts and the litigant parents.

The doctors need to be doctors, they need to formally diagnose the problem (pathology) using the DSM-5 & ICD-11 diagnostic systems, and then tell the court and the litigant parents what that diagnosis is.

This allows each litigant to present their case to the court and to challenge a clearly made diagnosis if they choose. The appellate system for a disputed diagnosis is second opinion.

I recommend that we get that second (and third) opinion throuigh telehealth right at the initial assessment point, thereby giving the court clear mental health information on which to base its decisions – and for a treatment plan to fix the diagnosed problem.

The legal system lands on the wrong end-point, the custody decision of the court. Healthcare lands on the proper end-point, treatment, we need to fix the problem.

Throughout healthcare, diagnosis guides treatment. What is the DSM-5/ICD-11 diagnosis for the pathology (problem)?

They won’t tell you. The forensic psychologists in the family courts won’t tell you what the DSM-5 diagnosis is. They refuse. They are intentionally withholding relevant evidence – the DSM-5 diagnosis – from the court and from the litigant parents.

That’s exactly the problem. The forensic psychologists are breaking the system… for their own financial and career status gain.

The moment the psychologists start returning DSM-5 diagnoses of Child Psychological Abuse (a shared persecutory delusion & FDIA), that will indicate the previous failure of the forensic psychologists to protect the child and targeted parent.

The forensic psychologists are highly motivated now to NOT diagnose the Child Psychological Abuse (DSM-5 V995.51), Delusional Disorder (shared/induced); persecutory type (DSM-5 297.1), and FDIA (DSM-5 300.19) because it will expose their prior failure – throughout their career.

The forensic psychologists in the family courts are intentionally – intentionally – disabling the mental health system’s response to child psychological abuse (DSM-5 V995.51) in the family courts for their personal financial and career-status gain.

Debate: Are Forensic Psychologists Intentionally Disabling the Mental Health System Response to Child Abuse?

Yes: Dr. Childress

No: Pick one. Anyone. How about Dr. Saini, he’s President of the AFCC. How about him? Or anyone. Surly there’s a forensic psychologist who will argue that they are NOT intentionally disabling the mental health system response to child abuse?

Crickets. Watch.

I’m encountering them. They’re encountering me. Howdy, I’m Dr. Childress, pleased to meet you. Are you aware of Standard 2.04 of the APA ethics code?

Are you aware that the DSM-5 & ICD-11 diagnostic systems are among the “established scientific and professional knowledge of the discipline” required – mandatory – for application as the bases for professional judgments?

So? What’s your DSM-5 diagnosis for the child and family problem?

You’re a doctor. That’s your job. Tell the court and the parents what your DSM-5 diagnosis is… and why. Cite to the symptoms, cite to the diagnostic criteria.

Does the child have a fixed and false belief maintained despite contrary evidence (i.e., a delusion) that the child is being malevolently treated in some way by the normal-range parenting of the targeted parent (i.e., a persecutory delusion)?

A litigant parent – the targeted parent – needs an answer to that question for their arguments made to the court. You’re the court-involved psychologist, that’s your “field” of practice – so – answer the diagnostic question for the litigant parent and court.

They won’t answer the question. They are intentionally withholding the diagnostic information – they’re covering up their prior failure. Oh my.

We’re in the active cover-up phase now – which will expand into a larger conflict of interest.

To fix the broken mental health system response to the pathology in the family courts, we need to acknowledge that the experimental quasi-judicial role of forensic custody evaluators failed, and that we need to return to established healthcare of diagnosis and treatment.

But the moment we eliminate forensic custody evaluations and return to clinical diagnostic assessments… they lose their jobs. They are a failed model. Bye-bye, no one needs a “forensic custody evaluation” anymore.

There is currently a tremendous conflict of interest with forensic psychologist in positions of authority and influence. To change means to acknowledge their failure – and they will need to exit the family courts.

They misdiagnosed child abuse their entire careers and were responsible for disabling the mental health system response to child abuse that irrevocably destroyed the lives of thousands of children and their parent.

They experimented on human subjects, the parents and children in the family courts, with their made-up “quasi-judicial” role for doctors. Their experiment on children and parents was a complete and total failure.

They need to go away. They don’t want to go away because this is their career. We’re in the cover-up phase now – entering the conflict of interest phase.

It will get worse for them, and worse, and worse. Reality is what reality is. The DSM-5 diagnosis is V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse (DSM-5 297.1 Delusional Disorder; DSM-5 300.19 FDIA).

Howdy. I’ve been retained in this matter to review your work. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist

WA 61538481

OR 3942 – CA 18857

Impact on mental health due to Parental Alienation

Last year, I wrote about the stellar work of Professor Ben Hine, a Professor of Applied Psychology, and so it was a real pleasure to recently hear him discussing his groundbreaking research into the effects of family breakdowns, separation, and divorce on parents and children. His research, conducted in collaboration with other luminaries in the field, such as Jennifer Harman, sheds crucial light on the prevalence and impact of parental alienating behaviours (PABs) as well as their profound impact on mental health, and it offers valuable insights into what needs to change to address this pervasive issue. ⁠

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You can find his research papers online, but here is an overview:⁠

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To understand the scale of the problem, his team surveyed over 1,000 separated or divorced parents in the first national study of its kind in the UK. When asked directly whether they had experienced PABs, 39.2% of participants reported that they had. However, when specific behaviours were described to them, this number rose to 59.1%. This stark difference highlights how difficult it can be to identify PABs, even for those who have suffered from them, underscoring the need for greater awareness and understanding.⁠

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The study also uncovered the severe mental health consequences of PABs. Participants who had experienced alienation reported significantly higher levels of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and even thoughts of suicide. The damage caused by PABs is not just a “difficult family dynamic”; it is a form of psychological abuse with far-reaching consequences for parents and children alike.Many also disclosed that their experiences of PABs were accompanied by domestic violence, echoing similar findings in studies conducted in the US and Canada.⁠

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Professor Hine emphasised the importance of developing a comprehensive response to this issue. He called for better mental health support for families, including training for professionals, the creation of support groups, and access to counselling. Schools and the legal system also need to be involved, as they are often on the front lines of these complex family dynamics. Equally vital is the need for large-scale public awareness campaigns to educate society about the existence and impact of PABs, helping to reduce stigma and encourage action. As you know if you read my posts, I advocate this myself, and could not agree more strongly.

The research also revealed the importance of refining the tools used to identify PABs. The gap between participants’ direct responses and their recognition of specific behaviours shows that alienation is often hidden or misunderstood. By improving these tools, researchers and professionals can better understand the scope of the problem and develop more effective interventions.

The pervasiveness of Parental Alienating Behaviors demands urgent attention and concerted action from policymakers, professionals, and society. By acknowledging the intricate dynamics of post-separation relationships and prioritizing the well-being of affected families, we can work towards fostering healthier parent-child bonds and mitigating the enduring impact of parental alienation on individuals and communities.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#coercivecontrol

#FamilyCourt

#alienatingbehaviour

Agreeing just to keep the peace /Trauma Response – Charlie McCready

Agreeing to things just to keep the peace is a trauma response. It’s a way of surviving in a hostile or controlling environment where saying ‘no’ or ‘I don’t believe you’ isn’t an option without severe consequences. This response is often seen in alienated children—children who have been manipulated and coerced to the point that their own needs and feelings no longer matter. Instead, they learn to prioritise the emotions and expectations of the alienating parent. They walk on eggshells, eager to placate and please, because defiance causes even more trauma than they’re already dealing with.

This behaviour becomes a form of self-protection, a way to avoid conflict and ensure that they remain in the good graces of the parent who controls their reality. Over time, these children can lose the ability to recognise their own boundaries, and their sense of self becomes enmeshed with the parent’s demands and manipulations. Their ‘agreeability’ isn’t a sign of compliance but of survival. They’ve learned that resistance leads to emotional punishment—withdrawal of love, guilt trips, or accusations of betrayal. So, they agree, they nod along, and they become what they think the alienating parent wants them to be, sacrificing their own comfort, autonomy, and well-being.

Similarly, the need to be constantly busy can also be a sign of trauma. When a child is caught in a world of conflicting loyalties and intense emotional manipulation, stillness and quiet can become unbearable. There’s research into ADHD and alienated children which is very interesting, if alarming. But being alone with their thoughts means confronting feelings of anxiety, guilt, and confusion—the result of a parent’s relentless campaign to control their mind and emotions. Constant busyness, then, becomes a way to avoid these feelings—a distraction from the chaos brewing beneath the surface.

But this coping strategy comes at a cost. It prevents them from ever truly understanding what they want, who they are, and where their own boundaries lie. Instead, they become attuned to others, hyper-vigilant to the moods and reactions of those around them, and disconnected from their own inner world. The challenge is that these patterns sometimes can persist into adulthood, long after the child has left the direct influence of the alienating parent. We, as alienated parents, have had to learn this the hard way. Many of us lived for years in a state of constant appeasement—agreeing, conceding, and sacrificing parts of ourselves to keep the peace with our abusive ex-partners. It’s taken time, therapy, and a great deal of inner work to realise that

agreeing just to avoid conflict isn’t harmony. And we’ve had to learn to say ‘no’, to walk away, and to reclaim our sense of sovereignty.

The same journey is ahead for our children. They, too, will have to unlearn the trauma responses they developed out of necessity. They will need to realise, as we did, that their value doesn’t lie in their ability to keep the peace, to stay busy, or to put others’ needs before their own. One day, we hope they will come to understand that they are not just the product of a manipulative parent’s expectations. They are not defined by the demands of those who sought to control (or hurt) them. And when our children are ready, we hope they find the strength within themselves—the courage to live life on their own terms.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#traumabond

#traumabonding

#emotionalabuse

#mentalhealth

#mothersmatter

#FathersMatterToo

#FathersMatter

#FamilyCourt

#custody

#parentalalienation

#childcustody

#mothersrights

#fathersrights

#childrensrights

#custodybattle

#parentalalienationawareness

Indoctrination/Parental Alienation- Charlie McCready

The idea that the alienating parent is not standing in the way of your relationship with your child is pure theatre. It’s an act. Behind the scenes, they’ve already given the child their lines and coached them into believing the character they’re supposed to play. Indoctrination, such as when a child is alienated and without justification for their rejection of you, is what’s happening. The child isn’t being given choices. They’ve already been coercively controlled and enmeshed into an alignment with the alienating parent.⁠

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A child’s expression of wishes holds such power and is often a deciding factor in proceedings concerning them, but it should be acknowledged as a voice, not a choice. Placing the child in a position where they must select one parent over the other goes beyond being inappropriate. Children often desire things at age 8 or 9 that they’d go nowhere near ten years later. I’ll give you an example. I thought it would be incredibly cool to be a lion tamer. Thankfully my parents didn’t think to put me in a lion’s den with a whip and a whistle, thinking that my needs must be met because this is what I believed was right for me. I also wanted to be able to fly, and they didn’t send me off to be operated on with wings attached to me surgically. Of course, children need to be heard, but they also have to be guided, nurtured, given boundaries while not being totally indoctrinated. Children might not know better than to wish for something detrimental to them, as in the case of being allowed to choose to reject a loved, loving parent, having been encouraged by the alienating parent to do so.⁠

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Research shows that many adults who, in their youth, rejected a parent, having been given a lot of pressure to do so by the other parent, later came to regret it and wished somebody would have had the sense to help them realise this was not a good idea – friends, family, legal or mental health professionals, anybody. ⁠

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Taking, ‘it’s their choice’ at face value fails to recognise the extent of coercive control, psychological abuse, and manipulation at play, which can have profound negative effects on the child’s emotional development and well-being.⁠

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#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#adversechildhoodexperiences

#CoerciveControl

#custodybattle

#parentalalienation

#narcissisticparent

#mothersmatter

#FathersMatterToo

#FathersMatter

#FamilyCourt

#coercivecontrolawareness

#parentalalienationawareness

#mothersrights

#FathersRights

#ChildCustody

#traumabonding

#familycourts

Prolonged Ruptured Attachment Syndrome

Parental alienation can be understood as an attachment disorder, where the child is manipulated into rejecting one parent, disrupting the natural attachment bonds. This psychological harm mirrors what is described in Prolonged Ruptured Attachment Syndrome (PRAS), a framework introduced by Martin Seager and colleagues. While PRAS was not developed to address parental alienation, it offers a new and potentially valuable lens for understanding the emotional damage caused by the disruption of attachment.⁠

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In cases of parental alienation, the rupture in attachment is not a clean break. Rather, it’s a painful disruption that leaves the relationship in a state of unresolved limbo—neither fully severed nor easily healed. Many alienated parents describe what feels like a living bereavement. This mirrors PRAS, where people are unable to find emotional closure because their attachment to a significant person remains unsettled. Seager describes PRAS as existing “somewhere between trauma and grief,” a state that is neither fully traumatic nor fully grief-stricken but something in between. For alienated parents, this is reflected in the constant uncertainty of not knowing if reconciliation with their child will ever happen. The pain, as Seager explains, is “ongoing without closure.”⁠

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PRAS highlights that the emotional toll of such ruptures is not just a one-time loss but an enduring, unresolved pain. The psychological effects of parental alienation are profound. This kind of emotional suffering can lead to trauma, grief, anxiety, and helplessness, making it harder for both parents and children to heal.⁠

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Healing from the emotional damage caused by these attachment disruptions requires more than just time. For alienated parents, this means specialised support to help navigate the complexities of reconnection and recovery. PRAS also underscores the importance of recognising that emotional healing from attachment ruptures needs understanding and compassionate care. ⁠

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Published in Psychreg Journal of Psychology in December 2024, the newly conceptualised mental health condition, Prolonged Ruptured Attachment Syndrome (PRAS), while not developed with parental alienation in mind, offers a potentially helpful framework, with its findings validating the distress caused by attachment disruptions. Applying this to parental alienation could pave the way for more effective, empathetic responses and support for affected families.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#prolongedrupturedattachmentsyndrome

#emotionalabuse

High Conflict – Charlie McCready

A wise and wonderful parent I’ve worked with made a very good point about the term ‘high conflict’, typically used to define divorces between a warring couple. In other words, we all get thrown in together, even though our character and behaviour might be polar opposites. One parent might be actively working towards a peaceful resolution, genuinely seeking an amicable resolution for the well-being of the children, and understanding the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship between both parents. The other is engaging in alienating behaviours, including provocation, false allegations, lies, withholding information, and limiting or blocking contact. ⁠

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Labelling both parents as ‘high conflict’ without discerning the underlying dynamics can be detrimental. It might unintentionally equate the legitimate concerns and actions of one parent with the manipulative behaviours of the other. It’s important for all involved who seek to be able to differentiate between legitimate conflict resolution efforts and manipulative tactics. It’s unhelpful to call both parents ‘high conflict’, and it is particularly lenient towards the alienating parent and less kind to the parent seeking a peaceful way forward. This labelling can create a false equivalency, perpetuating an environment where the true victim of alienation is treated as if they are equally responsible for the conflict. ⁠

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A more psychologically informed approach, understanding the underlying dynamics of parental alienation, and acknowledging the intricate emotional interplay between the child, alienating parent and targeted parent, could lead to a fairer assessment of the situation, potentially protecting the child from the harmful effects of alienation. This approach requires mental health professionals, legal experts, and all involved parties to recognise that alienation often stems from a complex web of psychological factors, including unresolved conflicts, emotional manipulation, and distorted perceptions. ⁠

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#highconflictcoparenting

#highconflictdivorce

#narcissisticparent